Hal Jalikeakek Thanks Gillette for Getting Him Out of His Funk
Dear Gillette,
After a hard day of looking at new wallpaper for our garage with my wife, she said, "I smell something." She started sniffing around and turned to me. She put her nose to my shirt.
"It's you," she said.
I told her, "I don't smell, this is my natural essence."
She said, "then I guess your natural essence is pig farm on a 90 degree day."
It was then that I realized my Secret deodorant (strong enough for a man and it's 2011, so I'm going to use it) was not up to the task.
I started browsing the aisles of our upscale local Wal-Mart looking for a good funk fighter and came upon your Gillette Odor Shield. It promised 16 Hour Protection and best of all indicated that it apparently had the seal of approval as a Gel Douche. Since some of the biggest douches in my office always smell like they just stepped out of an Axe commercial, I figured this probably was a good sign that my natural scents would be masked..
So I took it home, lathered the stuff up and went to town on my body, covering every inch in a frothy lather. I noticed some improvements immediately. Jane, the pretty secretary (sorry, Administrative Assistant) that fetches my coffee and rubs my feet every morning, no longer runs out screaming after her 20 minutes are up. People in the elevator with me are no longer pushing any floor just to get away. And I've noticed that Marcus, the super friendly guy that calls me "Bear", has been more insistent about me joining him for a game of racquetball down at the Y.
But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing to tell you about an interesting outcome of using your product that relates specifically to your promise of 16 hour protection.
The other day I took a shower at 5:13 AM. I know this because that's the time when Wild Larry and Crazy Harry tell their first "Joke of the Day" on the Morning Silliness show here. I finished getting ready, and went to work at Cowcope, a company that makes medications for cattle, where I'm a vice-president. An all day meeting spilled into the night, and as we approached 9 PM, I began to worry. We still hadn't come up with a name for our hair loss topical for cows and I knew that I was nearing the end of my 16 hour protection and I began to get worried. John Henderson, our head of product development and I were arguing over two names. I liked Cowpecia. John preferred Moogaine. The argument grew heated and John and I got in each other's faces. The hours were taking their toll but my Gillette Odor Shield was hanging in there. I watched the clock like I was Jack Bauer on 24 . Only I didn't have an unpleasant woman to move satellites for me or a super smartphone with the battery that lasts 24 hours and always gets a signal. I watched as the time clicked closer to 9:14. Then, as we reached the height of our stalemate, my watched turned 9:14. And it happened. My 16 hours was up.
Suddenly I saw John's face turn sour. He started looking around and smelling his armpits. Then he looked around.
"Did we toss out those onions and cabbage from lunch?" he said.
I stared at him. "The name will be Cowpecia, John."
John started to sweat a bit. "Man, do you smell that?"
"Smell what, John?"
"I don't know, but it smells like Satan's outhouse."
"I don't smell anything, except that Cowpecia's going to be the name of our new product" I said.
"Dude, I've got to go. Cowpecia's fine."
And so, Gillette, armed only with my trusted Odor Shield Gel Douche that knew just when to quit, I won my argument and got out in time to have my wife tell me to take a shower.
So thank you Gillette. And good work on developing the 10 bladed razor.
Sincerely,
Hal Jalikeakek
Cowcope, Inc.
---------Gillette's Response ---------
After a hard day of looking at new wallpaper for our garage with my wife, she said, "I smell something." She started sniffing around and turned to me. She put her nose to my shirt.
"It's you," she said.
I told her, "I don't smell, this is my natural essence."
She said, "then I guess your natural essence is pig farm on a 90 degree day."
It was then that I realized my Secret deodorant (strong enough for a man and it's 2011, so I'm going to use it) was not up to the task.
I started browsing the aisles of our upscale local Wal-Mart looking for a good funk fighter and came upon your Gillette Odor Shield. It promised 16 Hour Protection and best of all indicated that it apparently had the seal of approval as a Gel Douche. Since some of the biggest douches in my office always smell like they just stepped out of an Axe commercial, I figured this probably was a good sign that my natural scents would be masked..
So I took it home, lathered the stuff up and went to town on my body, covering every inch in a frothy lather. I noticed some improvements immediately. Jane, the pretty secretary (sorry, Administrative Assistant) that fetches my coffee and rubs my feet every morning, no longer runs out screaming after her 20 minutes are up. People in the elevator with me are no longer pushing any floor just to get away. And I've noticed that Marcus, the super friendly guy that calls me "Bear", has been more insistent about me joining him for a game of racquetball down at the Y.
But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing to tell you about an interesting outcome of using your product that relates specifically to your promise of 16 hour protection.
The other day I took a shower at 5:13 AM. I know this because that's the time when Wild Larry and Crazy Harry tell their first "Joke of the Day" on the Morning Silliness show here. I finished getting ready, and went to work at Cowcope, a company that makes medications for cattle, where I'm a vice-president. An all day meeting spilled into the night, and as we approached 9 PM, I began to worry. We still hadn't come up with a name for our hair loss topical for cows and I knew that I was nearing the end of my 16 hour protection and I began to get worried. John Henderson, our head of product development and I were arguing over two names. I liked Cowpecia. John preferred Moogaine. The argument grew heated and John and I got in each other's faces. The hours were taking their toll but my Gillette Odor Shield was hanging in there. I watched the clock like I was Jack Bauer on 24 . Only I didn't have an unpleasant woman to move satellites for me or a super smartphone with the battery that lasts 24 hours and always gets a signal. I watched as the time clicked closer to 9:14. Then, as we reached the height of our stalemate, my watched turned 9:14. And it happened. My 16 hours was up.
Suddenly I saw John's face turn sour. He started looking around and smelling his armpits. Then he looked around.
"Did we toss out those onions and cabbage from lunch?" he said.
I stared at him. "The name will be Cowpecia, John."
John started to sweat a bit. "Man, do you smell that?"
"Smell what, John?"
"I don't know, but it smells like Satan's outhouse."
"I don't smell anything, except that Cowpecia's going to be the name of our new product" I said.
"Dude, I've got to go. Cowpecia's fine."
And so, Gillette, armed only with my trusted Odor Shield Gel Douche that knew just when to quit, I won my argument and got out in time to have my wife tell me to take a shower.
So thank you Gillette. And good work on developing the 10 bladed razor.
Sincerely,
Hal Jalikeakek
Cowcope, Inc.
---------Gillette's Response ---------
Delivered-To: cowcope@gmail.comDate: Fri, 12 Aug 2011 18:32:22 +0000 (GMT)From: "\"P&G North America\" " To: "cowcope@gmail.com" Thank you for contacting Gillette, Halbert.Thanks for taking the time to share your testimonial with us! Your reaction is just what we hoped for -- I can't wait to share your story with the rest of our quality team. Thanks again for taking the time to write!JaimeGillette Team
DISCLOSURE OF MATERIAL CONNECTION:
The Contributor has no connection to nor was paid by the brand or product described in this content.
The Contributor has no connection to nor was paid by the brand or product described in this content.
Published by Crutnacker
Freelance writer and business professional from Louisville, Kentucky. Husband, father of one beautiful daughter and three annoying cats. Lived in Maryland, Boston, MA, and Louisville, KY. View profile
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