Halloween is for Seniors Too!

My husband, Jake, and I walked up the walkway to the entrance of the senior center, spying the dangling 30-inch black spider and hanging decapitated head with green stuff oozing out of its eyes and mouth.
"Yuck," that's icky stuff," I told Jake.
"Par for the season!" Jake laughed.
We greeted the vampire who opened the door. He had red bloody-like stuff running down his mouth and chin.
"Come in! Come in! It's me, Carlton!"
"Boy, you sure wouldn't recognize you! You're usually so conservative, Carlton," I told him.
"'Tis the season to be weird!" Carlton answered.
"Help yourself to some drinks, ladies and gents," said Jake, our host, as he opened the family room door. It was dark in the room with noxious green gases spewing out of some laboratory tubes by the door. He took a tube from the table in the back of the room and poured some green icky-looking fluid into our goblets which were decorated with skeletons and black spiders and silver glitter.
"How appropo!" said Jake smiling gleefully like a child.
Jus then, we turned and saw several lifelike skeletons hanging in the back of the room--one held an axe up, another held a sledge hammer up, and a third held a decapitated head by it's long blond hair, blood-like goop dripping from it!
"Eek! Who's that?" Granny Marge arranged those for us! She says they're from her Uncle Jim's collection and the skeletons are real! The head is very authentic, isn't it? She says that's fake though, and the red goop is gelatin mixed with some thickener," said Carlton. "What's that we're drinking--it tastes like a green margarita! Yummy!" I said.
"That green stuff in the tubes is lime gelatin mixed with margarita mix. I got the idea from the Witches Halloween Store in downtown Manhattan. The salesgirl told me to add the green 'eye of noot' and 'witches stench' into a jar by the front door and that's what you smelled when you first came in. Please don't drink that! Ha, Ha! It's not harmful; the potion is harmless, but it does stink! We added a label that says, 'Do Not Drink'!"
"Eek!" I screamed as the lights suddenly went out, and Jill, the club leader, said, "Follow me, everyone, into the dining room for our Halloween feast!"
Carlton lit all the orange and black candles, and we all stood wide-eyed looking over the dining table feast. There was as the main course--a huge turkey, at least 30 pounds, with two heads!
"I looked all over before finding a nice fresh turkey head," said Jill. "They're hard to find."
Next to that, there was a bowl of cranberry eyeball salad, mashed green potatoes, and the piece de resistance--a huge, scarey-looking dark chocolate Black Widow Spider cake with a red fiddle down its back, huge glassy red eyes, and a smoking cigar in its mouth!
"Wow! How gross and creative," said another guest, dressed as Snow White.
"Have an eyeball or two," said Jake, handing me some cranberry snacks.
"This is the best Halloween party!" I said as I drank my green goop. "Seniors throw the nicest Halloween parties!"