Handling College Rejection Letters

For many high school seniors, this can be a traumatic time of the year. Many have spent the past four years preparing to get enrolled at the college of their choice. They have taken the required classes, participated in a variety of activities, filled out their application papers, and done their do diligence. Now they play the game of waiting to receive that very important letter that says "Welcome."

However for some, they get the rejection letter that says we're "sorry." What next? This can be especially hurtful for an individual that has always been successful in high school. If you are the type of student that scores high on the SAT and ACT and are ranked in the top of your class, you start questioning your capabilities, preparations, and even intelligence.

There are a number of reasons why you might have been rejected. Some colleges will give the reason but, most won't. Here are some tips for dealing with rejection.

First off, don't let it become bigger than it really is. Stay relaxed and express optimism. If you are the parent of a child that gets a rejection letter, don't over react to it. Children want to please parents as well as themselves. How you as a parent reacts is vital to getting through this process.

Second, let the child have time to deal with this on their own. It is them getting rejected not the parent. This is one of those times that a parent can't micromanage with a phone call. A rejection letter is usually final.

Third, Is there a waiting list? Sometimes colleges will say if a certain student decides to go elsewhere, it will open up a spot of admission.

Fourth, Can you get in the door early by going to summer school? This is what happened to me. The summer before the Fall semester, I enrolled. It then carried over to the Fall semester. Why? Because they had already blocked in a number of summer school students for the Fall instead of the individuals they knew that were coming. I was admitted as a group instead of as an individual.

Fifth, Monitor your student closely. Know when and if you need to get outside counseling. Students, that are use to always succeeding, can end up falling rather hard. Recognize that children deal with rejection differently. For some it is no big deal. They just start looking at other options or at schools were they were accepted at.

Lastly, When they are ready, help them pick up the pieces so that they can move on. You might say something that is positive about another college that they have been accepted at. Help them explore their options in a positive manner.

Don't let this situation turn into a "do or die" one.

College rejection hurts. Our society enforces the idea that working hard and doing the right things gets rewarded. In the real world, that isn't always the case. Students get rejected for a number of reasons. Most of them aren't personal. Colleges reach a limit on their quota and stop looking at applications for one thing.

Don't just limit your choices. Have at least six schools to seriously look at and apply to all of them. There have been students that were selected at their number one choice. They get there and discover that it was a big mistake.

Before I close, let me give you a personal example from my own life. My son had a scholarship to play basketball and golf at Midwest college. He rejected it all and went to a two year hands on trade school. I was more devastated than he was. Well that two year trade school helped him move on to get a degree in mechanical engineering. Need I say more. Sometimes rejection at one school can open up new doors for your child at another one.