Handling Frustration Correctly Can Manage Your Anger

Learning how to handle frustration when it is occurring may be the key to keeping your anger from escalating or even beginning. Most people are very well aware that one must be come frustrated with a situation or a person to reach the anger stage. You might now be thinking but that can't always be true. Sometimes when people just blow up it looks like to others as if they went from a calm rational human being to an exploding maniac. What we are not looking at is what frustrations that were not handled properly in the first place in order for someone to get to the point of blowing up. For example, if you saw a husband and wife sitting in a restaurant talking and seemingly getting along, then all of a sudden the husband started screaming at the wife and shaking his fist at her, you may believe she obviously said something to make him angry. Although that may be true in essence, we have to remember that in order for him to be that angry most likely earlier frustrations regarding that situation probably occurred.

To better understand this on a personal level, and in a way you may be able to relate to I will give you a typical example regarding your children. A mother or father who starts screaming at the top of their lungs about their child putting away the milk when he is finished. This usually has nothing to do with the very first time he does it. It's usually after many attempts of the parents telling the child to put the milk away, and the child refuseing to do it, over and over again, Ergo, the parent's frustration is created. Most people do not become frustrated with one initial incident. It is usually a repetition of the same situation where nothing was solved, and the incident keeps happening. I'm sure most parents as well as husbands and wives can relate to this. How many times has it been since you asked him to take out the garbage? How many times have you told her you hate meatloaf? I am sure you now have a much better understanding of frustration that leads to anger.

So, than what can we do about this frustration? How can we cut off our anger at the pass? The first thing one must do is STOP doing the same thing over and over again, as we all know that's called insanity. Repetition of a strategy that doesn't work equals frustration, BIG TIME! It really amazes me how many times parents, husbands, and wives, handle things the same way over and over again, and then wonder why nothing has changed, or been solved. Well duh, if it didn't work the first time what makes you think the same thing in the same way will work the 99th time? Exactly, it's stupid! so, that;s your first step, find out a different way to handle the frustrating situation until you find something that works!

Another way, is to choose to LET IT GO. What is it with people that they just have to win, and be in control or they will just die? You won't die, in fact you will feel a lot better if you just LET IT GO, I can almost guarantee it. Okay, so this may not be acceptable to control freaks, or perfectionists, but you're not one anyway, right? This one is easier than you think, because in the end most of the time it's just NOT worth the the upset!

Here's the hard one. Not for me, as I believe this one benefits everyone. Sit down and talk about what's going on with the person or people that are causing you this frustration. Nothing in this world is ever settled without negotiations and talking. You may be surprised at what you hear. That person may not be trying to be obnoxious and vindictive, they might have feelings about the situation you could have never imagined. The point is unless we ASK, we will never know the REAL reason why their acting the way they are. They may not even know their frustrating you. So, sit down, pass the peace pipe, and find out what's going on!

Last but certainly not least is Make some better CHOICES, Yes, believe it or not how you respond to others is your CHOICE. YOU don't have to be frustrated, YOU don't have to get angry, and guess what YOU can be happy about the situation if YOU choose to be. It's not about what THEIR doing, it's about how YOU choose to see the situation, and how YOU choose to deal with it. yes, it's up to YOU!

Well, there you have it, some good advice on how to handle that frustration of yours to keep your anger at bay. If you choose not to follow it, than don't come crying to me when your laid out on the side walk because YOU let your anger get the better of YOU, but he just happened to have a great left hook!