Hangover Hell: How to Prevent & Cure a Hangover

A hangover is truly one of life's cruel jokes. You went out with some friends and had the best time of your life. You didn't think you drank very much, three or maybe four glasses of beer or wine? You've done that lots of times! But by this morning, you were praying to the porcelain gods in your bathroom, promising your first born child and all of your earthly riches, if only they will make this hellish pain and sickness leave you!

Yes, a hangover can be that bad. We all promise it will never happen again and in some cases, that promise holds true. Many of us forget that vow however, when the next New Year comes around or even by the next weekend tailgate party. Hangovers are not something we want to remember. Obviously, the very best way to prevent a hangover is to avoid drinking too much. But if you are unable or unwilling to forgo more than one or two drinks, hangover prevention is key. If we aren't going to give up drinking completely, what can we do to prevent a hangover the next day?

First, what causes a hangover? Most suffer this dreaded after-effect because alcohol is a diuretic and quite literally, a poison of sorts. Your body reacts to the diuretic effects of alcohol by becoming more and more dehydrated with each drink. The alcohol breaks down in your body to acetaldehyde (which is toxic) to a then more harmless acetate. Methanol, found in darker spirits like brandy or red wines, eventually breaks down into formaldehyde. Thats right, embalming fluid just like they pumped into your dead granny. How fast your body breaks down these toxins through the liver is determined by both genetics and gender. A normal liver can metabolize about one once of alcohol per hour. Anything beyond that causes intoxication to varying degrees and in many cases, a terrible hangover.

So you have your three drinks (or twenty - I'm not here to judge) and you feel really fine. You haven't done anything to prevent a possible hangover. Your body then reacts the next day with such violent illness that you believe this hangover may cause your death. You get sweaty, then chilled, you feel nauseous, your head is pounding. The light hurts your eyes, the room feels like it's spinning. You look in the mirror and are horrified to see your mother....... Congratulations! You've won a hangover!

Contrary to popular belief, nothing can really 'cure' a hangover but time itself. So the goal then becomes how do I live through this hangover without killing myself? With that goal in mind, here are a few things you can do to make suffering through a hangover a bit less painful:

Think prevention first! Proper hydration is especially important to prevent a hangover. Before you attend any function where you may enjoy alcohol, make sure you drink plenty of fluids. Water, juice, lemonade - any liquids that don't contain caffeine are best. The caffeine in coffee, tea and other beverages has the same diuretic effect as alcohol and these should be avoided to prevent excessive dehydration before you even begin to drink. Alternating alcoholic drinks with a glass of something else during your evening helps counteract the alcohols dehydrating effect, as well as slowing down the rate of your drinking. This is all helpful to prevent a hangover.

Eat something. A meal one to two hours before drinking will help slow alcohol absorption and make a hangover less likely. Aim for a balance of carbohydrates and proteins. Avoid salty items if you can, these will increase your thirst and cause you to drink faster than is wise (this is why many establishments offer free nuts or pretzels at the bar). Nibble and graze through the event as well, to keep something in your stomach while you drink. This really makes a difference and, along with plenty of hydration, is perhaps the one of the best ways to prevent a hangover!

Stock up on items that will help if you do partake too much, before you will need them. Any pain reliever such as aspirin or Motrin (you should never take ibuprofen such as Tylenol when drinking alcohol because the combination is extremely damaging to your liver). Breakfast foods such as bread, eggs, juice and coffee or tea will, at some point, be desired. Sports drinks like Gatorade or Powerade are especially good to have on hand.

Some people swear that taking a large glass of water and two pain relievers just before going to sleep at the end of the evening, is helpful in preventing hangover symptoms. If you do this, make a note of what time it is so that you do not take pain relievers again too soon.

When you wake, you feel like a squirrel has been hibernating for months inside your mouth and has now clawed its way into your brain and cannot find its way out. The pounding, the ricocheting of sound inside your head, the pain of opening even a small slit in your eyes, the heaving of your stomach - yeah, it's a hangover all right. 'Why didn't you do something to prevent this?' the squirrel scratches inside your skull.

If you feel sick, do try to make it to the bathroom but don't try to hold back. Emptying the contents left in your stomach can actually bring a measure of relief and prevent hours of additional nausea and suffering. No one enjoys tossing their cookies but your body knows best. If you have 'dry heaves' and nothing is happening but contortions of your body around the toilet bowl, try drinking a small amount of water. This should either calm your stomach down and you will be able to leave the bathroom or this will get things moving along and you will be able to produce something other than moans.

Once you are done with the heaving portion of this event, wash your face with cool water. It may not make a big difference in your recovery, but the cool washcloth on your pounding temples will calm the squirrel of discontent somewhat. Keep a cool cloth on your head whenever you lie down.

Taking in a glass of fortified sports drink here will help to replenish lost electrolytes and minerals and may satisfy the raging thirst that comes with a hangover due to dehydration. Until you know your stomach will accept this, you should drink only small amounts at a time.

Drink a cup of coffee, tea or other caffeine-laced beverage and, if enough time has passed, take a dose of pain relievers. The small amount of caffeine will help boost their effect and will help in giving you some needed energy. Don't drink too much caffeine at this point because it will dehydrate you further and just prolong your misery. If you get sick again, start the process over when you feel able to stomach it, being careful not to take in too many pain relievers. Eventually, the squirrel will accept this offering.

When you know that the pain relievers are going to stay down, it's time to get something more substantial inside you. You many not feel especially hungry, but eating will help your system to recover more quickly than not eating. Some people swear a plate of greasy eggs and bacon is best to help with a hangover. Others reach for supplements like B12 or a few glucose tablets, sold over the counter for diabetics. Spicy foods like Mexican or Thai dishes can be found on many a list of hangover cures. Physicians recommend blander food choices like dry toast, crackers or even pancakes - things that are absorptive. Some prefer sweets, so they reach for the jelly on their toast or load those pancakes with syrup. In any case, getting something in you is the goal. Nuts are not especially helpful, despite what that squirrel might say. Stick with small amounts of whatever you choose, until you know your stomach will not revolt.

There are also old rumors of a little 'hair of the dog' being the best cure for a hangover. While you may find a Bloody Mary does help you feel better in the short term, all you are really doing it prolonging the time it takes for the alcohol to leave your body. A Virgin-Mary is a better choice.

Rest is extremely helpful and, if possible, get as much as you can to help with recovery from a hangover. You won't feel up to doing a whole lot anyway. I know of one person who merely gets up to relieve his bladder, guzzles some bottled water at his bedside and then goes back to sleep for several hours. He swears this works best for him and claims he never does anything to prevent a hangover either. He is not typical.

The best way to prevent a hangover is not to drink too much in the first place. While there is no real 'cure' for a hangover, the ideas above can help prevent one and also help ease your pain and evict that nasty squirrel from inside your head!