Happily Single: The Benefits of Being Boyfriend-Less

Growing up, I used to think having a boyfriend was this wonderful thing. The media makes society believe that it's all roses and romantic black-and-white postcards in gift shops. Most people live with their rose-colored glasses on throughout their entire relationship. I know girls who are immensely unhappy with their significant other, but even more afraid to be single. What's with the fear? I'm single again, and loving it!

To be honest, the happiest memories of my life were when I was single. And some of the worst memories of my life are of when I was attached, or should I say, chained? I'm at a point in my life where I need to devote my time and energy to school, work, friends and family. I have the whole remainder of my life to date if I choose. And, I have been on so many dates in my life that I'm kind of maxed out on dates right now. I simply don't feel like getting dressed up and going out to dinner with yet another guy who I'm probably not going to make it past date number two with, either because I've decided he's not my type, or he decides not to call again, for what reason I have no clue, nor do I really care anymore.

The jealousy factor is the most annoying thing in the world. All guys get jealous, I don't care how hard they fight to deny it, all guys do. They can't help it. It's a territorial and possessive male instinct thing all guys go through. Once a girl becomes "their" girlfriend, it's almost like a property claim. You are no longer simply a girl he's dating, you are his girl and his alone. Then everything changes. It's considered inappropriate for you to spend even minimal amounts of time with any guy except for him. He expects a time commitment from you. If you see him less than five nights a week, that's considered unacceptable. He demands to know who called you, and he checks your "dialed" and "received" call logs on your cell phone. Why does he do this? To assure him that you belong to him.

Then you get jealous too, naturally. You find yourself becoming crazy, and it's usually because he initiated the craziness. Say he gets a call in the middle of dinner. You demand to know who it is, not because you really care, but only because you know he would do the same thing. It's like he tricks you into turning into this jealous creature! And by having a boyfriend, that's one extra thing to worry about in your life. He goes out with the guys one night, you're up worrying about whether or not he's talking to other girls. The hours you aren't with him, you wonder what he's really doing. All this unnecessary worry is caused, for no reason! I love how I don't have to worry about anyone but myself! I never experience a jealous moment, because there's nothing to feel jealous about! I don't have to keep tabs on anyone, and I think my blood pressure is so low because I'm rarely stressed out.

Then there are the arguments. Once the honeymoon phase is over, both of you start to get overly comfortable with one another, and argue over the most random and pathetic things. Usually the causes of most of these arguments is the fact that you both spend way too much time together already. Then it's over jealousy (surprise, surprise), and other dumb things not even worth mentioning.

Soon, everything becomes inappropriate. You can't chat with exboyfriends or hook-ups. Having a guy friend over to your house isn't right. You shouldn't wear short skirts out to parties, and you can't even say hi to guys you know. All of this jealousy is caused by insecurity, as well as lack of trust. Your boyfriend claims he's just looking out for you and that other guys are trying to take advantage of you. It's like, "Hello? I've managed to get by the first twenty years of my life, thank you very much. If I wanted a personal bodyguard, I would have hired one."

Boyfriends take up too much time, time that I'm not willing to donate right now. I have a job that I love and live for, and I'm sorry, but my job comes first! I'm there five days a week, it often requires me after hours and on weekends, and I have to go out of town on occassion. My boss loves the fact that I'm available on the drop of a hat, and if I had a boyfriend, that would affect the flow of everything.

I also thrive on the fact that I don't have to "check in" with anyone or ask permission. I go to parties with my friends whenever I feel like it, and I come home when I decide it's time. I wear what I want, talk to whoever I want, and don't have to check my phone constantly, looking for ten missed calls from a worried boyfriend. I don't have to get lectured about certain thinks like drinking too much around other guys, and if I do something random like kiss a guy at a party, it's guilt-free because I'm not cheating on a boyfriend that I don't have!

My friends like the fact that I'm more available as well, and we can have our girl's nights as often as we like. I also love to spend more time with my family, and it's been great because I don't have anyone who conflicts with that. I appreciate just hanging out at home and watching a movie with my parents, or feeding my cat and reading a book till midnight. Life is so much more enjoyable, and at Christmas and Valentines, instead of spending money on a significant other, I can treat myself to something extra nice, simply because I'm fabulous and deserve it.

I can have posters of sexy shirtless guys all over my room without some boyfriend throwing a fit over them. I can flirt aimlessly with the manager at Abercrombie & Fitch and feel no shame about it. I can dance and makeout with three guys in one night and never talk to them and not care. And whenever I go out there's always the chance I may meet someone exciting to go on a date or two with. In other words, I notice guys when I go out. But before, when I had a boyfriend, it was like, what's the point in noticing other cute guys? I couldn't act out on anything anyway.

Someday I want to fall in love and get married and all that jazz, but not now. I'm enjoying living in the moment too much. I'm having a blast being more self-involved and spending time on myself. I'm also more involved in charitable projects and helping out others who I want to assist. I've started a vinyl record collection and love reading books on fashion. I like to spend my weekend afternoons shopping and my weeknights napping. I do what I want, when I want, and it's the best thing I've ever experienced.