Happiness in a Marriage: Equality Defined Uniquely by the Couple

If you are married, planning to get married, or simply thinking about marriage one day, it is important to understand the varying dynamics in which marriages survive today. With gender roles often confused, many couples find they are challenged to bring equality into their marriage.

While equality in a marriage can be defined on many different terms, most couples, in the 21^st century, with dual income homes, evaluate equality based on some very specific tasks and achievements in the marriage.

For many couples, especially those in dual income homes, the key factor that leads to equality in the marriage is felt to be an equal distribution of tasks. This is to say, in most successful marriages today, couples agree to assume equal responsibility for both the home cleaning and maintenance as well as the child-rearing responsibilities.

In addition to equal task division, these same couples also report they feel a sense of equality in their marriage as they sense a feeling of mutual respect and share in the role as leader of the family, depending on the issues and decisions at hand. In fact, what is commonly expressed within both partners is a sense of viewing the other person as their equal.

While many marriage counselors or pre-marital counseling professionals would have you to believe that financial issue is a key factor that determines satisfaction in a marriage, when most happily marriage couples are questioned, this is simply not the case. In fact, the vast majority of happily married couples simply want to feel as an equal in their relationship and feel as if their opinions and viewpoints matter.

There are some married couples who report being happily married, even when only one individual is employed. For these couples, the domestic tasks of house cleaning, cooking and child rearing are usually handled by the unemployed partner. Interestingly enough, these same couples report being happily married, again, due to the expression of mutual respect and value in the relationship.

If you are planning your wedding, engaged, already married or are simply planning and hoping for marriage one day, it is important to understand the dynamics of marriage and find what, historically, will make your marriage a successful one. While marriage is not always easy, it can be blissful and content, offering companionship and security to both partners when the right dynamics are in place. Respect, mutual understanding, acceptance and a pre-determined role in domestic responsibilities, child-rearing and employment are all factors that should be considered well before a wedding or marriage is instituted.