Happy New Year Promises

I suppose it has been about 50 years since I made my first New Year's Resolutions. My resolutions have always been to treat others nicer, to be more helpful, to think more about consideration for them; instead of me. It never works out for me because I spend the entire year taking care of everyone but me;just to keep my New Year's resolutions. I made those resolutions t because I have always felt taking care of other's is my responsibility;especially family, friends and those in need. I have always been one of those "Bleeding Hearts" you hear about that gives away their,"Last dime,shirt off my back, and all that "put others first" resolutions. For example, three years ago, when I was employed, I gave away my last paycheck of the month to those who were unemployed. Two years ago I got laid off so my resolution was to give aways things I have that others need such as clothes, buy one get one free items, and to make things for others birthdays. In years past I have always been a giver; so one year about 5 years ago I chose to make a resolutions to clean all the liter up once a month on 12 different streets.Who gives to food to me if I do not have any, who puts me first in this life?

The last few years my resolution's have been different than when I made my first resolution at age 10. That age 10 resolution was to say hello to everyone I met and to say "Sir and Madam" to everyone I spoke to", and to be quiet unless spoken to first. As I have grown up through New Year's Resolutions helping others I felt it was "good" to give more to others than to myself. However, now I am a Senior Citizen Baby Boomer and that "Flower Child within me has gray hair, sore muscles, weak bones, and an aching back!. So its my turn to resolve to change from a bleeding heart to a self indulgent elder. I will definitely keep this resolution because I am so tried of coming last. I mean who ever includes me in their Happy New Year Resolution, anyway. 2008 is my year, to do what is best for me, to kiss my own rear end, and give myself some kindness for a change. Perhaps this is what other's do each New Year but its a first for me. Of course its a little scary because I have always given my time, my knowledge and skills, my money, and my "Best Foot Forward to Others" and so I don't really know how to give to myself. I got this idea the other day at the mall while holiday shopping. I overheard a young adult women say to her Mother,"I do not care what Auntie Tootsie wants for Christmas;let her buy it herself. I want her to have a picture of me and that's it; she can buy her own frame;because I want a manicure!" Wow, I thought, selfish girl, what a shame!! I just shook my head thinking how horrible I thought that young woman's response was to her Mother.

I saw them in the elevator a while later and the Mother said to this young adult woman,"No, you are not getting a manicure, Aunt Tootsie and I are using the money to go to Bingo!" Dang, I thought what's up with that family?" Generations of selfishness, you know; the ME, ME, ME syndrome, to bad, I shrugged!! When we got off the elevator I was behind this Mother and Daughter walking through the crowds to the food bar. All of a sudden I heard the young adult woman holler,"Oh, Aunt Toostie, so nice to see you! Well, I just had to hear this conversation and see how this situation turned out for them. Aunt Tootsie said," Happy Holidays Dear Sweet Child, now what do you want your Auntie to get you for the holiday?" The young woman said,"This is my year to be first at the holiday and I do not care who likes it." Her Aunt Tootsie replied,"You go Girl!"You know I wasted my best years taken care of other's and now nobody even calls or comes sees me, except you, of course. " You know ", said the sad looking Mother,"That's a great idea, let's buy presents for ourself this year, spoil ourselves, all three of us can get manicures and go to bingo." They all hugged and laughed and were so naturally free and happy just being themselves."

I just could not get those three women off my mind. How great to resolve sensitive issues like who to buy what for at holidays, and settled a resolution in less than 10 minutes and everyone got what they wanted and no quarrels, bad feelings, or guilt nor shame. Well, I can tell you that made me take a long hard look at myself. I spent a couple days rethinking how I bought holiday gifts and made New Year's resolutions! It reformed me from a bleeding heart to a self indulgent but honest person for the New Year!!

My New Year Resolutions for 2008 are as follows;
1. When I am broke, admit it, and don't do without because I gave someone my last $5.00.
2. Only say Hello and Goodbye if I mean it and not because I think I have to say it to be a nice person.
3.Stop feeding all the homeless people all my favorite food and give them a phone number and 50 cents to call someone else.
4. Rest when I am tired instead of dragging my rear end down to help whoever needs something "right away".
5. Keep the things I like instead of giving them to the thrift store just because I know they need pots and pans and household goods; I needed those myself!
6. Instead of saying, "Yes Sir and Madam" to others I do not know only say it to those who earn that title!"
7. Eat first with ample helpings instead of waiting till everyone else get second helpings and I get the scraps.
8. Let my heart bleed for me and do something kind everyday just for me like a hot bath, a cup of hot cocoa, or ask someone to go to the store for me.
9. Do not answer the phone and listen to all the gossip and complaining and just tell them I do not feel like listening to it.
10 Soak in a hot tub with a good book and 60's music and get out of the tub when I feel like it not just when someone wants something from me
11. No longer wait for the phone to ring or email to pop up and feel bad cause no one wants to know how I am doing. email or leave a message for myself that I
am important and my New Year Resolutions are healthy ones.
12. Take a walk, not to check on neighbors, but by myself and relax doing what feels good to me;getting reformed and healthy.
13. Watch an entire TV show or movie and not answer the door or phone
14. Buy myself some of my favorite foods like gyros, rib eye steak, lemon filled donuts; instead of spending my extra change on others.
15. Pay attention to my feelings and not let others make me feel guilty because I am tired of taking care of everyone but myself.
16. Be quiet and not respond to others problems with a solution; just let them figure it out on their own.
17. Find homes for homeless pets instead of taking them all in my house.
18. Walk right through the crowded aisled at the grocery or department store instead of waiting until everyone else gets through and being last all the time.
19. Try saying,"NO, I can't help you today because I am helping myself today.!"
20. Fix myself and my own problems rather than always being there for everyone else. Follow my own advice for stress management.

Well, twenty new promises to myself is a good start to resolve my own stress and stop my bleeding heart ways. I hope this helps someone else to be kind to themselves and reform from being last to being self indulgent; at least for one year's resolutions. Happiest of New Year's to Everyone and May it be just to your self promising satisfaction. I think for me at least that I will be healthier and stronger as I start my new journey through my elder years.