Hard Praying

"Even if something bad has to happen to Tommy*, Lord ... let it be ... "

My eyes popped open. I was confused. Most grandmothers pray for the safety of their grandchildren, but my grandma seemed to be praying for something bad to happen to my cousin Tommy. I stared at Grandma as she continued to pray.

"... Whatever it takes to bring him back to You, God..."

Suddenly I understood - she was fighting every protective 'grandma' instinct within her. She was praying a 'hard' prayer - that God would bring Tommy back to Him no matter what the short-term cost. Like Hannah in I Samuel chapter 1, Grandma was 'pouring out' her soul before the Lord. Grandma frequently prayed for the safety of Tommy and her other grandchildren. However, she realized that what he needed most was to turn back to God - even if it cost him physically or emotionally on a temporary basis.

What is a 'Hard' Prayer?

In essence, a 'hard' prayer is a form of intercessory prayer. The purpose is to draw someone you love closer to God. It is asking God Almighty to work as He sees fit - to remove His hedge of protection around a person, if necessary, to get their attention and draw them closer to Him. In the example above, my grandma was praying for Tommy to come back into right relationship with God, even if it took some physical or emotional harm in his life. Not that she wanted something bad to happen, but his permanent spiritual well-being was more important to her than his temporary health.

Why Pray 'Hard' Prayers?

When my grandma prayed this prayer, she was certainly not asking for the best for my cousin in the short term. She had the 'big picture' in mind. She asked herself, "What is important, with eternity in view?" We all want the best for our children and grandchildren, but the question is - "what is the best?" In this case, it was for Tommy to leave his current sinful lifestyle and grow closer to God. If it takes a so-called 'bad' thing to happen in order to accomplish the long-term goal, then so be it.

God routinely uses difficult circumstances to shape and mold His followers into His image. David hid in caves and feared for his life while God was preparing him to become king. Job suffered terrible losses to his family, his possessions, and his physical body, but was still able to say, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15). The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years before entering the Promised Land. Daniel was thrown into the lion's den. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into the fiery furnace. Jonah was swallowed by a great fish. Paul was imprisoned. Peter and John were beaten for preaching about Jesus. Many early Christians were persecuted and martyred. Likewise, many of the reformers of the church were persecuted and martyred. These are only a handful of examples, but in each case, the believers grew closer to God because of their difficult circumstances.

James 1:3-4 tells us "the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." We need our faith tested so we will mature and become complete. This testing may very well involve difficult circumstances. In verse 12 of chapter 1, James says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." Indeed, the formula to receive that crown is to persevere under trial - to demonstrate our love for Him.

I John 5:5 says, "Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." By definition, in order to be an 'overcomer' there must be something to overcome. In this Scripture passage, the reference is to overcome 'the world', or, literally, the sinful pattern of the world. So, how do we overcome the world? Certainly not on our own. We can only overcome through the power of Jesus Christ.

Christians often quote Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." But the question begs to be asked - "How does God work all things for our good?" The answer is in verse 29 - "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son..." Therefore, God takes all things - even bad things - and works them for our good by using these things to conform us into His likeness! He doesn't make bad things happen to us, but, as in the case of Job, He may remove His hand of protection for a time. He doesn't do this in a cruel way, but to conform us to Him.

We live in a fallen and sinful world. Bad things will happen. Nevertheless, we can find comfort in the fact that God uses difficult circumstances to mature and complete us. He wants us to persevere, to overcome these trials and receive the crown of life. His ultimate goal is to conform us to His image. When we begin to see as God sees, we can pray 'hard' prayers.

When to Pray 'Hard' Prayers

My grandma prayed 'hard' prayers, but she certainly didn't pray them for fun. When we pray for others, we are doing so to build up or bless them, not to tear them down. However, when we see someone who is not walking with the Lord, desperate measures may be necessary. My grandma saw someone that she loved very much who was participating in sinful things. She knew that discipline was necessary sometimes, as Hebrews 12:6 says, "... the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." So, she prayed that the Lord's hedge of protection be removed, in order to bring Tommy back to Him.

Another example involves a minister I know. He had served for over 30 years in ministry and was a passionate speaker for Christ. Yet, somewhere along the way, sin crept into his life. We didn't know exactly what the sin was, but we could see the consequences - dwindling passion for the Gospel, storytelling rather than preaching, lack of preparation, pride, and unwillingness to submit to accountability. When someone would approach him in love to confront this apparent sin, he would become defensive and attack the accuser. This sin had gripped him. My wife prayed a 'hard' prayer that this minister would 'get caught' at whatever he was doing. She didn't really even know what she was praying at the time, but simply asked God to remove His hedge of protection for a season. Months later, this minister was arrested for committing a sexual sin. We were devastated. We loved him and wanted the best for him. However, the best thing at that time was for him to get caught. Otherwise, he probably would have just continued in this sin. We didn't celebrate this answer to my wife's prayer. However, we realized that this was necessary for him to overcome. Hopefully, the minister will accept the consequences, as stated in Hebrews 12:10, "for our good, that we may share in his holiness."

How to Pray a 'Hard' Prayer

As with any prayer, we must go before the Lord with the right motives. We should not try to 'figure things out' for God or tell Him how to fix a problem, but rather approach the situation with humility and discretion. The goal is the eternal result, however God chooses to bring it about - even if that means that things will seem bad in the short term. Hebrews 12:11 reminds us "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Our prayers should always be to bless others, not to curse them. 'Hard' prayers should be to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace in the life of the one for whom we are praying. 'Hard' prayers are designed for the ultimate good of the one for whom we are praying.

Although these prayers are difficult, they can also be powerful. They can open our eyes to the big picture and allow us to see as God sees - with eternity in mind. To see that the ultimate goal is not our temporary comfort and happiness, but to overcome, to become mature and complete, to receive the crown of life, to conform us to be more like Him. These goals need to become our goals and our praying should reflect it.

That will take some 'hard' praying.

* Name has been changed