Hating on the Happy

I have a friend who oozes enthusiasm from her pores. After talking to her, you kind of think to yourself "Wow, what's she on and where can I get some?"

Just as often, though, I hear people's negative reactions to her cheerfulness. They think she's crazy or too over the top or something. To which I say, hey, it's working for her. She has a great marriage, four great kids, and a wonderful career. She knows who she is and makes the world a better place.

I thought of her while watching a biography on Rachael Ray. Did you know there are entire live-journal communities devoted to an intense dislike of Rachael Ray? I didn't until watching that program. When asked about her critics, Rachael just shrugged and said "hey, you can't please everyone".

And, again, being happy and positive is working out pretty well for her. The person who started the live journal community? Maybe she's a happy person too, but I doubt it. The kneejerk reaction would be to say she's just jealous. I think she's just lazy.

It takes work to be happy. Being happy requires not settling for what you don't want. That takes a lot of courage and hard work. My happy friend left a stagnating career to start her own business, a decision which continues to make her happy.

Happy people get a lot of joy out of helping others. This requires work, and the mental agility to get out of your own head and think of other people. This will require forgetting your own problems for awhile, which might just make you happy.

Happy people reframe things into a more positive light. This is a skill which can take a lot of practice, but is worth learning. It is also really hard work in that it involves a lot of self-awareness. Thoughts are powerful things. I probably won't ever be as bubbly as my friend. But things work a whole lot better for me when I try to think more like her, and less like someone who took time and energy out of making her own life better to start an anti- Rachael Ray site.

It does become kind of "chicken or the egg" puzzle: are happy people successful because they're so happy, or so happy because they're successful? Either way, the view is better when you get away from the negativity-squawking hens and step into the light.