Haunted by Food and in Search of Control

Eating Disorders can make an individual obsessed with becoming thin in order to experience a sense of control over their lives through means of controlling their appearance. A person with an eating disorder often monitors the amount of exercise they get each day and the caloric content of food eaten to have control over their weight. A person that develops an eating disorder often can face a life- long battle of relapse and recovery.

An individual with an eating disorder often experience feelings of self doubt and insecurity and believe they aren't good enough not only for themselves, but that they are a disappointment to everyone else around them as well.

Family and friends can also play a significant role in the development of an individual's personality and produce certain vulnerabilities that can lead to abnormal behavior. An individual is especially vulnerable when they are young and highly affected and influenced by those close to them.

T he onset of puberty can affect an individual's sense of security with themselves. As one's body changes dramatically throughout puberty it is common for individuals to experience a higher sense of insecurity with themselves and their bodies. A history of teasing and criticism from peers and family members that are based on the individuals physical appearance alone, often can lead to depression and thoughts that they must change whatever is wrong with them to prove themselves to others. As a result people with eating disorders control their body in order to please others and in some ways to feel like a complete person.

In American culture the physical characteristics of an individual are highly focused on and can as a result directly influence a person's level of success in society. Stereotypes and standards are set for what is considered beautiful and although it can change overtime people constantly strive for that "look" and many go to dangerous lengths to achieve that perfection.

Individuals who may be overweight are often stereotyped as lazy and less successful in life whereas someone else with the same level of intelligence that is thin is considered attractive, clean and put together. In a society where most of the focus is on outer appearance rather than the inner intelligence and strength of an individual, the pressure to fit into what is considered "normal" and beautiful is extremely prevalent.

Anorexia, a well known and devastating eating disorder has steadily become more common in western culture. The pressure to be thin surrounds people daily on magazine covers and huge billboard advertisements. The pin thin models display blinding smiles in photo shoots with five karat diamonds in their ears symbolizing that wealth and success is only given to those who fit a specific idea of beauty.

Anorexia often develops during young adulthood or the teenage years because individuals in that age group begin to feel an increase in the pressure to succeed from family, peers, and authority figures as they become closer to reaching adulthood. Most individuals in the beginning stages of an eating disorder start off by controlling the food they consume and increasing the amount that they exercise. In the beginning when weight begins to come off the individual is complimented on how great they look by family members and friends. The initial compliments from the same people that could have once criticized his/her appearance often give the individual a false sense of happiness. As a result, these compliments increase the individual's motivation to lose even more weight because they remain unsatisfied with their appearance and believe they can look even better.

Eating disorders such as anorexia often seem harmless when they begin because dieting is so common in western culture today. An eating disorder often begins itself with a simple thought.

"I just need to lose a couple more pounds and then I'll be okay, then I'll be happy"

Unfortunately, it becomes so much more than just losing a couple more pounds. Those suffering from an eating disorder often do not realize it themselves in the beginning, they see how "well" they are doing and how strong they are to have the self control to not eat that high fat brownie left on the stove top.

Family members and friends who are close a person suffering from an eating disorder are often the first to point it out to them by stating that they're worried and by trying to coax the individual to eat more in front of them. The individual sometimes sees people being worried about his/her weight as a sign that they are merely jealous because they don't have the self control and strength that he/she possesses. A sense of pride is felt in the beginning, a calmness that wraps itself around the individual much like a young child's security blanket would.

An eating disorder can slowly sneak up on an individual because the severity of the disorder can increase gradually rather than quickly. An eating disorder can shape the way an individual thinks and acts every moment of the day. Food haunts the individual and it becomes what they dream about, what they fantasize about, why they cannot get to sleep as they shiver underneath three blankets during the summer, cold because they lack the body fat to keep themselves warm with, they are in a self inflicted hell wondering who they used to be, wishing for anything including death to just make it stop. Life for an individual with an eating disorder becomes centered on an unattainable goal in hopes to find a sense of fullness and warmth inside themselves.