Have Sex or Die

Well, we have all known for years that a plethora of "raw monkey like sex" will burn a lot of calories and there by reduce cholesterol, while boosting over all energy levels. Now we learn that a new study suggests a distinct link between the monthly amount of sex and increased health and longevity. Which on the surface is more than wonderful by itself but for old time quasi "Ladies Men" (or tramps) it provides new fodder in their plea for sex and all manners of debauchery.

Think of it, if your lover refuses you, she or he could get away with a clear conscience with "I'm tired" or "I have a headache" but what kind of heartless human being would not take you to "Boogie Wonderland" if it would save your life. I mean even heartless pimps would probably not deny you a " happy Hanna Barbera" ending, if it would prevent you from dropping dead right in front of them. That would be bad for business wouldn't it? Them trying to do business on main street with you lying there with that horny look on your lifeless face, not good at all.

Yep, "knock boots with me or I will die" is now a claim that we can all make to our lovers or anyone else for that matter. The lyrics by Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" may now have real meaning when asking for a "mutual yabba dabba doo." But let me get to the facts, I have run out of euphemisms for sex anyway.

Here goes;

In a recent issue of "Seek Wellness" online publication, an article by Donald B. Ardell phD quoted a finding that would support the orgasm for longevity theory. " .......even after adjustments were made for age, social status, high risk behaviors (such as smoking for example) blood pressure and evidence of coronary heart disease, the key finding or association seems to be the link between frequency of orgasm and diminished mortality."

Mark Stibich phD. In a 2009 article in about.com said "sex releases several hormones in the body and increases intimacy and bonding and works against loneliness and depression."

But does he believe that straightening out the bugle every now and then (or what ever the women's version of that is) will give you added years, he said "staying sexually active has physical, social and mental benefits."

But how much is enough and is there a such thing as too much? First question first, it seems that a sex regimen of about 100 yabba dabba do's (or orgasms) per year, will garnish you about an extra 3-8 years (depending on how well you do it).

If this is true, it brings us to at least one inescapable probability;

If you keep getting layed on a bed; you may never get layed out on a slab.

Oh, the answer to the second question ,you already know from your parents " so don't stop until you feel yourself going blind".