Having a Baby

For the first time ever in my twenty eight years, I was thinking about someone else besides me. I had had a pampered life as a former model. I had cars, money and many friends. But as I grew older and sunk to the bottom of my industry, I lost all those. I had come very depressed until I discovered I was pregnant. I was having a baby!

I loved feeling the baby bump around and didn't mind gaining some weight. By the time I reached the end of the third trimester I was packing on the baby pounds. I had gained ten pounds the last week of the pregnancy. The weigh in nurse who delivered the news almost lost her life. But finally after all the drama the day came.

And went. Two weeks after my due date I still had no baby. Finally, my doctor said he would induce my labor. Three days later, after I had days of labor but only dilated to 4 centimeters, I was headed for a C-Section. My son's heart was failing and I was groggy from the drugs they gave me as they ran me down the hall to surgery. I prayed for my son and past out.

When I awoke my dad, step-mom and sister was standing around me just staring at me. They all looked so serious, I thought something was wrong with my son. The assured me all was well and told the nurse I was awake and wanted to see my baby.

In a few minutes a crying baby was brought to me wrapped in blanket. I looked at my water logged baby and my heart melted. I said, "It's alright baby." And my little son tried to open squinchy eyes to look at me. He stopped crying and for the next few minutes we just stared at each other.

I think he thought, "Oh, there's the nice lady who's been feeding me so good," as he examined me with his blue eyes.

I thought, "God, I know I don't deserve this little person. But thank you."