Having a Child Who Stutters

All kids develop at different ages both mentally and physically. That is a well known fact. There's no way to know when your child will leap over those childhood milestones. Speech is something that definitely varies between children. Some children speak so clearly and fluently from the beginning, while others take a little longer to understand. When do you know if there's a problem? Hopefully I can help by sharing my experience.

Our son didn't start really talking until he was two years old. He was doing fine, and then at about three years old, he started stuttering a little bit. I had talked to our pediatrician about it and she told me not to worry about it too much at that time because many kids go through the repetitive phase in their speech as they develop. When they're learning new words and making sentences they may start stuttering somewhat.

He had gotten better, so we figured we were out of that phase. Then at about 4 years old or so, he started again. Only this time, it didn't get better. It only got worse. At four and a half years old, he was starting to get very frustrated and have what they refer to as "blocks." This is when he would try so hard to say a word that he would tense up and no sound at all would come out. At this point, I knew something was wrong.

We went into the pediatrician again at that time and he referred us to a wonderful speech therapist that specializes in children. I thought I had done something wrong in teaching him or something to do with how he was developing. I had so much guilt. The first thing she told me was that this is nobody's fault at all. After a few visits, I came to terms with that.

There are a few stages to the stuttering. She first did an interview with both my son and me to find out some information. This helped in determining the severity of the situation. She found out that not only did he have the repetition and prolongation of his words, but also the speech blocks as well.

I need to mention that our son was always extremely shy and wouldn't talk to anyone new. In fact, if someone came to our home, he would run and hide either in his bedroom or under the kitchen table. He would avoid all social situations if possible. To get him to talk to the therapist was a chore. It took three sessions, which I was impressed with. I had gone in his first 4 sessions with him and ever since then, I've only been in a couple of them.

She never forced him to talk, but just created different situations in which she thought he would start to open up to her. It worked, and the first time I saw him interacting with someone that was a stranger, I cried. It was so overwhelming for me and I can't even imagine what it was like for my son. This was a huge step in our battle!

Within 2 weeks, his blocks were practically gone. I was so excited, but then I noticed more repetitions and prolongations. I started to worry, but she eased my mind saying that he is still making progress and that we need to work on one thing at a time, starting with the most severe. I also had things to do at home with him. We would spend time alone for about an hour each day where it was completely quiet so he could just talk about whatever he wanted to. We kept coloring books, puzzles, and some toys with us. There was no pressure for him to talk or to try to talk over anyone. I credit this method to his success with speech therapy.

So he was doing great, and we thought he was almost out of the woods, so to speak. Then school started. The first couple weeks of school got to be stressful for him, this triggered the stuttering. Still no blocks, so we were still ok with it. I was already forewarned that any stressful situation could set him off on his stuttering. I had already talked to his teacher, so she was aware of the situation. It took him about a month to really start talking in class, but he was doing ok making friends.

Now, with his first year of school half over, I've been told that there are times he is talking too much to his friends. From the speech therapist's point of view, it was a good thing, but at the same time, we didn't want him to think it was ok to goof around in school. We talked to him about it and he seems to have found a happy medium.

He has now come to identify when he's having any prolongations (longies, as he called them) and repetitions (bumpies as he says). When he notices, he will stop, close his eyes and take a deep breath, then start over. I know some people aren't very patient with this, but we have learned to be. His older brother also understands what he is going through with the whole situation. If he's really excited or hyper, he tends to ignore the stuttering, so we just put one finger up (as if we're saying, "Just a minute") and he gives us a nod and starts over.

He no longer gets frustrated with himself for having the difficulties with speech, which makes me very happy to see him able to interact and be happy about it! The children in his class have never said anything which I think shows a lot how our kids are really innocent at that age. He has now been starting to use different "outlets" for his stuttering. It seems that when he's struggling with a sentence, he will either blink a lot or make a lip smacking sound between words. This isn't a good thing, but something that we figured would happen. It's all part of the therapy process that all these stages are coming out.

Stuttering does not have a cure, so he will have this problem his entire life. I struggled with that for a long time, but then I saw how well he was starting to deal with it and handle it. It's second nature to him anymore to identify what he's having problems with. It's so nice to see our son be happy and talkative again. He used to sing when he was a little younger, but had stopped and was almost annoyed when others would sing. Now that he's made such progress, he's started singing again. This isn't mean to be a pun, but it's music to my ears!

If you start to suspect that your child has a problem with stuttering, please don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty about it at all. There are many children that have this same issue, and it can be handled very well. Just remember not to pressure your child to talk. There will be days when your child just doesn't want to talk, and that's ok. There will be highs and lows throughout therapy, but it will all be worth it. Hang in there - it will get better!