Having Company for a Week Without Losing Your Mind

Last year we moved to the beach. 26 weeks of our first year in Florida, we had company. These were people that traveled and stayed more than 3 nights, always with more than 3 people in tow. Granted, most were family. But even family (or especially family) can cause strain on a marriage, family routine and your pocketbook. Entertaining is not cheap.

The funny thing is, I would never describe myself as a host. I have sisters and a mother who are hosts with the most. So, I have seen it done. But I am like the black sheep of party giving. I get tense, take prescription drugs and always seem to melt down at some point. However, this year I have learned a few great things that truly help me keep my cool and endure day after day of company with a good attitude. So, if you are looking at hosting unexpectedly or enduring house guests for days, read on, my friend. These things will help!

Clean Towels and Toilet Paper
Oh...it's the little things, isn't it? This is so basic, but every single time I have guests for more than 3 days, I run out of both of these things. So, instead of someone pleading naked form a closed bathroom door for toilet paper or a towel that isn't soaked, be prepared.

First, have every towel in the house clean upon arrival. Second, assign a towel to the members of your own family (that live in your house) and set the right expectation. Say to your family members, "this is your towel. It is the only one you should use all week."

I have four kids (3 are girls.) We can go through some towels between the beach, the sand, the pool, the hair, the two-shower-a-day habits, etc. Making everyone vow to hang and use/re-use their own towel will help. Tell them not to touch the towels in the closet or in the bathroom, those are for the guests. Make sure their towel is in and out of the bathroom with them. This will prevent you from doing last minute laundry while guests are there.

Toilet paper is another thing that flies right out the door with company. All I can say is stock up. Go to Sam's and buy the biggest pack you can find. Place a basket or decorative bucket in each bathroom that everyone can see that is filled with extra rolls. This way, no one is digging through the niches of your bathroom looking for a non-existent spare roll...then shouting mercilessly for help (all the while thinking you are the most unprepared hostess ever.)

Plan a Menu
Often when people are on vacation, they are prepared to eat out every meal. But, when staying with others, you can bet "saving money" escapes the thought of no guest. So, have a menu plan in your mind, even better, on paper. This includes all three meals of the day, afternoon and late night snacks.

With the meals, it might even be a good idea to post a menu on the fridge or print it out and frame it for extra fun, with a picture of a clip art chef. This sets the expectation that a meal is in the works and if anyone plans on staying in, there is a meal on hand. You don't have to be tied to it, but it is a good idea to keep you from scrambling, or not having the right meat thawed, or serving a critical ingredient you will need too early. Basically, it is for you - to keep you organized and on task in the face of company plans and mayhem.

With snacks, consider that many times everyone wants a healthy snack, not just a bag of chips. Junk food is so quick and easy but can get sickening after a day. Most people enjoy fresh pineapple, rye bread and dip, a vegetable tray and dip, or cheese and crackers. It is worth it to keep everyone feeling healthy and strong on vacation. In addition, many visitors and family are worried about their child's nutrition, their own cholesterol or weight gain. So, it's good to have a healthy option.

Don't forget the popcorn! When people are at home, they usually hit the pantry at least once after dinner...even if just for a bite. So, consider a late night snack, like popcorn, or a glass of wine and cheese, shelled peanuts, trail or Chex mix - anything that is light "munchie." Your guests will appreciate it.

Insist on a Couples Night (or Family Night)
Simply because your guests may go out to eat every single night, doesn't mean you have to. Your budget may be tight and this is one way to ease the burden of spending easily: Insist that one night of their stay is a night to separate. Give your guests logical reasons such as, "My kids need down time and you need family time." Or, "I would love it if you went alone because you are on vacation, we're not. I could really use the night to catch up on things...so I insist!"

If your guests believe you need the space, they will be more likely to take you up on it. In addition, after a couple days, you will all need the space. And ultimately, it will give you time to just rest or get your home back to high function.

Lastly, if kids are in the mix, children do need time to decompress and often need space more than adults do. With the tasks of the party, kids can be left to their own emotions and vices to cope when mom and dad are so distracted. This time will allow you to bring focus back to your child and ensure a sense of normalcy and calm. Do the kids a favor, give them the break they may not even know that they need.

Live and Let Live
There comes a point in everyone's stay where someone needs to "man up" and say, "You know what, I am just going to do my own thing for an hour." This especially applies to the host. We can't be up all the time nor should we give ourselves the unrealistic expectation of this. It doesn't have to be a big production, just state it. This sets a boundary for your guest and may even come as a relief to them. Because, now that you are preoccupied, they are free to do their own thing, too.

Get it out there by saying it aloud, then remove yourself from the center of things. Retreat to your bedroom to read or clean. Retreat to the bathroom to take a bath. Disappear in the laundry room to catch up. Or, take the phone on the deck and call someone you haven't called since the guests arrive. Run to the grocery store and stop for too long at Starbucks for a coffee. Who cares what you do...just be sure to remove yourself from all demands to mentally regroup.

Having a good time with friends or family can be so deceptive. Just because you are having fun and laughing doesn't mean there isn't an underlying stress of the next activity for the host. Maybe it is a fear of the child being left out, your spouse not having as much fun as you, the space is too confined and your all coping...all of that is a subtle stress. You have to give yourself time to ensure you are cycling your emotions instead of saving them up for an explosion, panic attack, stomach problems, fever blisters or a good cry in the closet. Avoid all of that by distancing yourself a little every day.

Yes, with 26 weeks of company, I have almost lost it (oh wait...I have lost it,) too many embarrassing times to mention. But with each embarrassment comes a new lesson for me. I can tell you from experience, there is great value in each of these practical steps. One tip at a time, we all get a little better. And although I can't imagine it...one day my sisters may even call me the "host with the most." Until then, one tip at a time!