Having Emotions is Okay

I have noticed a strange thing these days--people seem to act like a display of emotion is highly abnormal. Workplaces consider certain emotions unprofessional. The general public contains people who act like other people are crazy for showing emotion. There are just so many people around who just don't seem to care that having emotions is perfectly okay.

I have noticed that the primary focus is to try to set standards for what is normal in negative emotions. People of course want to hear positive emotional behavior, but when it comes to understanding someone who is sad or angry they may turn away or even suggest counseling which is not necessary in most cases. If people would take time to listen and empathize, maybe some of these situations wouldn't get out of control. Sometimes people have the tendency as well to think someone is insane for getting overly excited about anything.

The thing that bugs me the most about all this is that emotions are normal and part of being human. People get angry, sad, lonely, happy, silly, and so forth when they feel it. However, society and workplaces seem to have a tendency to consider showing emotions as taboo.

Being angry or upset over something and showing it can really get some people going. If people get too upset, people question people's maturity and even people's sanity. Some even are so paranoid of angry people they think you might get violent and harm them, making accusations that simply aren't true. Intent cannot be proven unless the behavior is actually done and carried through with--simply saying, "I will kill you" or "you mother will kill you" doesn't mean it will actually happen.

Then there are the others who will just turn away and think about how everyone has problems and they don't want to deal with yours. They are only concerned with not having to deal with something that is not their fault. The problem is those who do not get involved are basically saying its okay for the problem to get worse as long as they aren't involved. However, this will not get you sympathy the next time you have a problem and try to go to others for help. A good support network for dealing with issues works both ways and it is very helpful to have others there to assist with coping with issues.

Another thing I have noticed in society is sometimes when you cry or get emotionally upset over something and are sorrowful, people will actually tease you or tell you to go see a psychiatrist. These are grown-up people mind you, but seem to lack the maturity of adulthood. Being sad over something sad is okay and anyone who tells you different is just being unrealistic or trying not to deal with your problems. I would understand this type of behavior if the person who is sad is crying all the time or similar, but to be so callous over emotional upset is just ridiculous. You can't just force people not to feel negative emotions.

Grant you, people are more accepting of positive emotions for the most part. However there are some people who have decided that certain people's senses of humor are insane or being overly happy about something is strange. I've actually witnessed for myself people who have written off people just because they didn't like what they thought was funny.

Also, I have found that there are people who seem to expect people to be happy all the time and pleasant no matter what situation they are in. I feel that that's just unhealthy for people, even if it is a workplace and it is considered more professional to hold back on emotions. For one thing, if a particular task doesn't make a person very happy doing it because their talents lie elsewhere, of course they will have some sort of reaction to it. Plus if it is repeated over time no matter how many times the person has expressed dislike for it, eventually it will cause a reaction, like an emotional outburst. People just can't just be expected to be happy and like things just because others want them to like it. Holding back feelings of frustration just to look better will usually eventually start to wear down a person's emotional and physical health.

All in all, I say it is okay to get emotional over events--whether happy or sad--or things that bother them. When someone starts getting overly excited, of course it might be bothersome, but it is best to try to talk to that person kindly and try to understand why they feel the way they do. It can help a person to calm down if they are allowed to vent their frustrations and get over the troubling circumstances. It's not the time for making accusations, acting like it doesn't matter, or talking back to the person. Such things can irritate the person more and actually elevate the situation into a more chaotic state rather than stop it. When the talking doesn't work and the person shifts to a more violent state, then it may be the time to get worried and take action, but not before that.

Most people in a highly emotional state, whatever the emotion, will usually respond to a kind person with a listening ear and a
more explosive situation will likely be avoided. When these people get worked up, it's not the time to walk on by, ignore them, or think its not your problem--as such behavior could make the situation worse. People need to know that others care about them and want to help them get through and get over their problems. Who knows, stopping to help such a person may earn a new friend who will be there for the person helping when it is their time of need.

I ask that anyone who read this that happens upon a person having an emotional crisis or is trying to make a way through their problems, please don't judge them...it's okay to have emotions. Be there for that person and give them emotional support and encouragement to make it through.