Having Sex with Your Sibling's Ex

First let me start out by saying on a very rare occasion this type of situation may work. When it does work, it's usually between highly evolved individuals that can intellectually work out the reasoning involved, or among dysfunctional families where this type of so called swapping goes on all the time. It is what is called the norm for these types of families. On a larger scale though this is not a healthy scenario for most humans. On a whole we tend to be very jealous creatures, even if some won't admit it. This type of grabbing what your sibling left behind, can make for some very interesting interactions. Let's take a look at what can happen when someone chooses to have sex with their siblings ex, and why it may not be a good idea.

To start at the beginning we must start with a human's innate tendency to get jealous. I know, really cognitive, intellectuals, or highly spiritual individuals will tell you their passed that sort of thing. Well, if that's what they want to believe, more power to them. The everyday, average, man or woman does get jealous. The more they love someone the easier it is for them to display jealousy, either toward their loved one, or someone who threatens their relationship. There's nothing wrong with jealousy, in fact it can be healthy for a relationship, however; in small, infrequent doses. I am certainly not talking about people who get seriously angry, or end up killing their loved ones type of jealousy. What's the point of all this? Well, even if you're the one who discarded your former love interest, it doesn't mean you want someone else to have them. This is a common, although sometimes hard to understand feeling. This can be especially true if it's a sibling who decides to hook up with your old flame. Yes, seeing your old flame with someone from afar may or may not bother you, but up close and personal. it's a different situation all together.

Jealousy among family members whether brought out into the open or quietly hidden can cause a lot of upheaval in a family. Can you imagine the scenario at holiday get togethers? Just imagine sitting at the table at Thanksgiving, or Christmas, and your current love, let's say your sister's ex, just happens to glance over at your sister for just a moment. This may be perfectly innocent, however; it's at that moment the wheels begin to turn. You start thinking why is he looking at her? Does he think she looks prettier than me? Is there still something going on between the two of them? Yes, it only takes a moment, a look, or even some Innocent conversation between the two to get your mind going in the wrong direction. Or perish the thought, it is in the right direction. You can imagine just how uncomfortable holidays or special events can be when your only thought is, is he thinking about her, insted of me? No more fun at these events, just paranoia, and playing detective, every moment, until it ends. Doesn't sound like such a good idea now does it?

If the family events with your sister's or brother's ex doesn't get you, the sex part will. Everyone at some time or another in their life has wondered whether their love interest is thinking about someone else when their having sex. This is something we just have to get over, it's a part of life. However; when it's a sibling, it's that much worse. Again, your new love is seeing him or her, a lot more often. You can't help but wonder when he saw your sister in that bikini at the pool party, if it was you that got him in the mood, or her? Yes, unfortunately when it's that close to home it may not be as easy to forget, as some stranger he hasn't seen in years. Never mind the strain this can put on the relationship between the sisters, or brothers in this type of situation. I don't know about you, but I have no desire to see, hear, or socialize with the loves of my boyfriend's past. Most people just can't handle it and come right out and say it, and the rest just pretend they can handle it.

Last but not least, is one of the most important reasons never to have sex with your sibling's ex, it's called boundaries. Yes, know matter how promiscuous our society has become, most of us still have at least some morals and values that help us to keep important boundaries. Boundaries are those rules that keep us form making some big mistakes that could virtually ruin our lives as well as others. Does everybody have boundaries? No, most dysfunctional people don't even know what the word means. It's common place in their family to sleep around with family members spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, and yes, even the mothers and fathers of their partners. Without boundaries, incest, cheating, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse occur, as well as breaking of everyday rules and laws of society. Boundaries really are the only thing that separates us from the lower animals. Boundaries are especially important in families, it keeps families cohesive, and allows family members to keep the love and respect alive in order for the family to function in a healthy manner. Once boundaries are crossed in a family, it can either be very difficult or sometimes even impossible to cross back over to the healthy family that once existed.

In the end everyone must decide for themselves what is right and wrong, and what might hurt, or not hurt their family. My rule of thumb is, think carefully about what you are attempting to do, before doing it. Boundaries can have a very fine line that once crossed, can break a family;y, or a sibling relationship. One other important thing to always consider before moving forward, always ask your self "Would I want this done to me"? It's amazing when put into that perspective, just how many people wouldn't move forward with crossing those boundaries!