HBO's Big Love - A Melange of Polygamy, Exploitation, and Feminine Archetypes

One of my summer's guilty pleasures was watching the wildly popular HBO series, Big Love. An adult drama centered around a polygamist, Mormon family, Big Love is an engaging drama that tackles unusual topics while presenting a family dynamic that is still approachable for its viewers. It was during one episode that I started to notice how the female characters, the three "sister wives" shared by one husband, depict stereotypical feminine archetypes--the mother, the submissive, and the sexual. Interesting to see how the women, when regarded separately, fall into these roles. It almost feels as though the three wives become one composite, yet are unable to stand on their own and transcend their limiting stereotypes.

Bill Henrickson (played by Bill Paxton) is billed as a "modern-day polygamist" who has built his own empire of home goods stores while he cares for his three families. Living in separate houses but on interconnected lots, Bill's sister-wives share his time, his children, and his religious philosophies. Set in Utah, the Henrickson household operates differently from most of the American domestic landscape, yet the show does its best not to alienate viewers with its novel approach to family life.

Bill's wives may share his domain, so to speak, but they have power within the household depending upon their longevity in the family. The first wife, Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn) has what she believes to be the most authority in the home, because she has been married to Bill for the longest amount of time. Presented as a caregiver who was awarded Utah's Mother of the Year award (before it was publicly revealed that she practices polygamy), Barb conveys a matriarchal tone throughout her presence in the story. Although this season of Big Love found Barb questioning the nature of her religious choices (i.e. whether to encourage her son to practice polygamy) and a burgeoning feminist philosophy about what she deems as Bill's "patriarchal" power in the family, Barb remains the caregiver. Barb is by no means "frumpy;" she dresses modestly but in modern sportswear. Married fairly young and while still in college, Barb's desire as a younger woman was to teach and to have children. Her choice of profession suits her character on the show--the "teacher" who tries to logically influence how her husband deals with his other wives, his children, and his business. Often depicted in her kitchen, Barb as the family's feminine "figurehead" provides a stability that is expected from the archetypal "mother" of the household.

Barb is not a one-dimensional character; rather, she does question her lifestyle and even leaves for a brief time to sort out her anger at living a lifestyle that prohibits her dream (to teach and be open about her life choices). Her abandonment of the family is more powerful because she is the matriarch--without her, the third wife, Margene, frets that she cannot be married without Barb's presence in the family. Yet even with Barb's renaissance from nurturing, complacent wife to her new stance of feminist solidarity, Barb remains a representative of the female mother touchstone. Without her, the family falls apart. Yet with her oppressive presence, Bill must find ways to work around her. Deceiving Barb about a woman (Anna) in whom he is interested, the final episode features Bill enjoying a passionate embrace with Anna in his own kitchen while Barb is outside with her sister-wives, hosting a party for Pioneer Day. Interestingly, Bill appears outdoors, and as he sidles up to Barb and kisses her tenderly, he invites her to take an active role in his new business venture. Barb has no idea that Bill was kissing Anna just moments before, and it is this scene that cements the notion that Barb is an essential component of the family. Bill realizes that in order to maintain the peace, his primary caregiver, Barb, has to have a feeling that she is needed. Giving her a leadership role in his business seems to validate Barb, while opening a way for Bill to pursue his other, more clandestine, interests.

I found it troubling to observe how Bill is able to manipulate his wives because of his fundamental knowledge of their stereotypical roles. Placating Barb with a job is only one example of how Bill is able to exploit his wives while maintaining his family's status quo.

His second wife, Nicolette "Nicki" (Chloe Sevigny), grew up on a large Mormon compound that was very strict and encouraged feminine submission. Invited to assist Bill and Barb during the time that Barb was ill, a young (early 20's) Nicki soon became Bill's second wife. She still dresses conservatively in traditional clothing (long skirts, long-sleeved, buttoned-up blouses, and her hair in braids) and firmly believes in living the "Principle" (plural marriage). Depicted as primarily submissive, Nicki also breaks out of that role through her manipulative behaviors. In season one, viewers learn that Nicki has racked up a substantial debt from a shopping addiction. In the second season, she becomes immersed in Bill's new Weber Gaming venture. She steals donations from her father's church during a visit ($60,000) and starts furtively gambling. When Nicki throws a lavish party for Bill's younger brother, Joey (Shawn Doyle), she lies to Barb about how she managed to pay for a band. Nicki's oppressive lifestyle as she grew up on the compound inspires her devotion to Bill and her family's Mormon morals, while spurring her to rebel in destructive ways. A conflicted character, Nicki seeks affection from her husband and is emotionally hurt when Bill misses their scheduled nights together. In one episode ("Kingdom Come"), Bill offends Nicki when he misses their evening together. Later, she observes Bill enjoying oral sex with his third wife, Margene (Ginnifer Goodwin), after Bill fled an argument with Barb. Nicki, although not an asexual character, is less interested in physical pleasure and finds more pleasure in submitting to her husband. Later in the same episode, Bill is hiding from his wives in the basement, and Nicki approaches him with an idea-she will relinquish some of her scheduled nights with Bill if he requires some alone time. This behavior is typical of Nicki-she "keeps the peace" by catering to her husband's needs. Bill responds to her generous offer by declining (saying she deserves what the other wives have) and proceeding to give Nicki oral sex, which horrifies her. Her desire to face Bill when they make love reflects her need for connection and emotional validation. Bill and she make love on the basement couch, with Nicki seated in his lap (clothed), and Bill telling her that she is a "good girl." This quote directly contrasts his earlier comments to his third wife, Margene, when they were having sex together and he referred to her as a "bad girl."

The "good girl/ bad girl" archetype is a timeless stereotype. Sometimes recognized as a "virgin/ whore" motif, feminists react to these labels and the masculine desire to dominate (the virgin) while enjoying or submitting (to the whore). A combination of the "mother/virgin/whore" in one woman relegates her to stereotypical roles that are difficult to transcend. Splintering these roles into three female characters who have to interact with one man allows viewers to react to the women and what they bring to the relationship. In Margene's case, she is twenty-one, sexually open, and essentially emotionally malleable. In one conversation with Bill, he is asking her opinion about Weber Gaming and trying to solicit her feedback. Frustrated, Margene comments, "Just tell me what you want me to think." The seemingly vacuous sexual plaything, Margene is a refuge for Bill and a rival for the other wives. Nicki refers to Margene's attractiveness and stresses that as the newest and "somewhat attractive" wife, she cannot have equal power in the family with her (Nicki) and Barb. Barb worries that her fifteen year-old son, Ben, is attracted to Margene, adding to Margene's "power" in the family as a sexual object. Longing for an ally and a confidante, she befriends the waitress, Anna, and encourages Bill to take Anna for a fourth wife. Confident in her sexuality and yet very naïve about the emotional machinations of her family, Margene symbolizes the sort of feminine stereotype that is often loathed by female viewers-the younger woman who captivates the man through her sexuality.

It seems that Bill has it all: when he wants his family cared for and his life orderly, he can go to Barb. When he wants a bit of traditional, patriarchy, and his needs acknowledged, he can visit Nicki. When he needs sexual release, the rejuvenation of his own sexual masculinity, and someone to say, "Yes" without too many questions, he can enjoy Margene.

While Big Love pushes boundaries and presents a less-traditional approach to modern family life, it is clear that the show relies on the tried-and-true stereotypes recognizable throughout the ages. As old as myth (and probably older), these feminine archetypes are recognizable, easily categorized, and often frustrating for feminist viewers. If anything, the women in Big Love should spark some conversation about how and why these characters perpetuate these feminine stereotypes.