He Said, She Said

I responded "I think I'll make hamburger stroganoff for dinner tonight."

What? Where did that random response come from? People often get frustrated with seemingly random responses. However, these responses may not be so random to the replying person's line of thought and logical reasoning. Let's find out what the listener was missing.

***

He said "Don't have a cow!"

My logical and rational mind takes over, though I know this is simply a phrase.

What does he mean "Don't have a cow"? I am a human, I can't "have" a cow. Unless on the rare happenstance that the IVF clinic shared refrigeration with the veterinary husbandry clinic and some bizarre bovine mix-up occurred. Still inter-species breeding prevented through myriad details within.

And is he so unaware beyond his own thoughts, that he doesn't recall the removal of my uterus prevents me from having a human baby, let along having a cow? Unless, of course, some divine intervention would take place. In this case, shouldn't he have spoken of the oft-referred to "holy cow" instead?

"Don't have a cow!" perhaps referring to my eating habits? Though I embrace a diet that could resemble vegetarianism to some, I still enjoy my meat. Cut thick and cooked on the grill.

Perhaps next time he could ask how I would like my cow, rather than expressing what I should or should not consume. I might like it slow-cooked with potatoes, carrots and onions, simmered in delectable seasonings in a comfort meal fit for Sunday dinner.

Maybe today I would prefer it ground, not tartare, but baked with shaved veggies, oatmeal and spices, covered in ketchup or barbecue and served with mashed potatoes. What a way to have a cow!

Now I am hungry and thinking of cooking the next meal, which is dinner and thankfully close.

***

He said "Don't have a cow!"

I responded "I think I'll make hamburger stroganoff for dinner tonight."

The confused look on his face was classically priceless indeed!