Healing a Broken Heart

When an idiot broke my heart and then later wanted to get with me, I decided to say no. Life's too short to live with anger and guilt and shame. Especially when the precious moments you spend with your significant other, you don't want to spend yelling.

My problem with hypocrites is that why do we need to listen to people who say all the right things and then do whatever they want to. We need people to be more concerned about the welfare of children than getting their sexual gratification from strangers. At least in the 50's and 60's men married women they got pregnant. And people were a little more likely to have a relationship rather than just "hooking up."

The guy that I had a crush on was too sensitive and yet he would dance dirty with lots of girls and then he said he was a leader. If this is how a leader acts, we are all in a lot of trouble. This guy claimed to be a Christian and yet he morally bankrupt. The only reason he wasn't having lots of sex is because I said he looked like he flirted with everyone and couldn't use women like he used to because I ruined his party. He hooked up with a dirty girl later. And I really don't care. Because he made me think he wanted me, but I was repulsed by his sleaziness.

Later I tried moving on, but I was feeling so dejected I told him to leave me alone and I never talked much to him after that. He was bad news. So I haven't dated much after meeting him because I am so afraid all Christian men are like that. Hypocrites. And non Christians don't even bother lying. I wish I met someone who I could respect and that wanted me. But its hard not feeling like a total loser after so many men just wanted to be my friend. I was told I could have any man I want when I was younger and thinner, but I didn't really know anyone and the people I met were all pot heads and losers. I wanted to settle down, but I didn't want to marry a drug addict. So I was single a lot of the time.

And now I just want to have a family so bad, but I haven't been able to get anyone to ask me out. They just grab at me and it hurts my feelings. I guess I still look good. A little thick. Maybe, but I try to do the right thing. I do. I wanted to wait till marriage, but most guys just want to browse among the lilies without a commitment.

I read part of a book about finding a "Million dollar mate" and it struck me that we are supposed to love someone for their love of Christ and their faith more than their looks or personality. For their tenderness and love and not just how they measure up.