Health and Safety Humor

"Is it true that sticking a candy bar up, an unconscious diabetic's, butt will help?" Sounds like a question you would hear from Rodney Carrington. Sadly, it was asked during a recent CPR and First Aid course.

I was bewildered looking at this student. My first thought was "please tell me you have never done this?" What the heck? A question like that deserves such an answer. So I ask the student directly. She states that she had not. Thank God for that one! She moves the blonde strands from her face with a long skinny finger. Corners of her mouth turn down as she furls her brow. A most puzzling look comes over her face. She asks, "Why would that not be a good idea?" Utterly puzzled that I did not find her idea useful. I spent the next five minutes explaining this. I spent another five minutes defending her right to ask the question. Even adult students can be cruel sometimes.

I wish I could say that it was an isolated incident. However, I have been asked many such questions. Sometimes they are asked with the best of intentions. Coming out of years of attending classes, scraps of information being left in the mind. Trying to recall this information causes fragments to be jumbled together. Leaving students believing that they are right. Some even believing that it is what they were taught. Let me give you a few more gems.

"Why do I have to wear gloves?" Routinely CPR students are taught about the importance of wearing gloves. Providing protection from diseases contained in the bodily fluids. One student took great offense to this notion. She was not a first responder, firefighter, or EMT. She should not be taught to wear gloves.

"What happens if you come up a car accident?" She peers at me with pupils turning red. A look that could kill. "I will help them. I just do not need to wear gloves!" Frustration in her voice is palpable. I explain to her that everyone has to be careful not to get a disease. She reiterates that only first responders have to worry about such things.

I always find these situations funny. My first reaction is to have some fun with them. This would soothe my inner child. Alas, I must be professional. I try to explain to her that gloves help protect from disease. I am getting no where quick. She is determined that only first responders have to worry about this. I have had it. She is holding up the rest of the class. I decide to end the discussion. "You are correct madam. Disease organisms will recognize that you are not a first responder. They will turn away from you and not enter your body or land on your skin."

Should you ever feel the need for a laugh, go to a CPR class. You will find many more stories like these.