Heartbreak 101: Thoughts on How to Reject a Girl

Rejecting or breaking up with a girl can be hard, yet doing it the wrong way can make it harder for both of you. There really is no easy way to say it, as a rejection will involve an attachment of emotions that can be hard to break. Here are some do's and don'ts to consider as you contemplate how you will go about your rejection.

Stop Leading Her on

Many guys don't have the heart to straight up reject a girl, so they will drag the relationship on in a half-and-half sort of way. If you really want to see the beginning of a rejection, then take steps toward achieving that goal. It can be immediate or it can be drawn out. Whatever path it is, make sure it's not to lead her on by a thread. Did you unintentionally spend more time with her than you planned, or did you agree to meet up with her again to "hang out"? Whatever contact you have with her, make sure you have thought about any responses before you take action. You may be giving her the wrong idea, slowing your progress towards your rejection. When she finds out what was going on, it will only make the breakup worse.

Don't Lie to her

This is the biggie. Women (and Men alike) hate being lied to. Whatever it is you do, do anything but lie to me. When trust is betrayed, nothing else can be established, as being able to believe in the other person is a major reason in why relationships succeed. In this case, Honesty is definitely the best policy, as lying here (as with anywhere else) will only provide a huge snowballing effect to be released later. You can't get away with everything.

Make Her HATE you

Just like in Dane Cook's My Best Friend's Girl, make the girl hate you. This is an extremely successful approach if you do it right, but you will only end up looking like a jerk later. Some guys care about the girl so much that they are willing to go through the trouble to do things like this. Girls will often leave angrily or think you're plain weird. With this being said, approach this method with caution.

Say it Straight

Here is the simplest and quickest rejection method by far, yet it will probably produce a lot of emotional backlash from the other party. Even so, direct confrontation will probably be a hurtful experience for both parties, and it should be done with minimal swearing, violence, and meanness. Standing a girl up is not considered saying it straight. Yes, making her wait outside in the cold alone is very straightforward persay, but it is not the right way to do a break up. It is not only morally wrong, it is irresponsible and cowardly. You are preparing to hurt some deep emotions, so don't do it in the worst way possible. Women hate it when they are left hanging.

She will probably get defensive and try to reverse the situation on you because she feels betrayed or insecure. Whatever the plan of action she takes, make sure to try to comfort her and let her know that you didn't have any bad intentions, you just don't see yourself with her.

If you are going to celebrate her birthday or Valentine's day or something of the sort, wait until later to do it or bring it up immediately. The only thing worse than breaking a woman's heart is breaking her heart on her birthday.

Gradually Drop the Hammer

Make your conversations shorter, tell her you're busy, immediately change topics when she talks about the future; these are all ways to make yourself seem just distant enough for her to draw the hints. Don't miss her phone calls on purpose or act like you are intentionally ignoring her. Make your "I'm busy" requests as friendly and polite as possible. You gradually dropping hints doesn't have to be drastic - or else it wouldn't be gradual now would it?

Depending on the girl, she may or may not get the right idea. Some girls like "the chase." They love trying to get a guy that is playing hard to get, so they will jump at the chance to do so. You dropping gradual hints to break up will be taking steps in the wrong direction if that is the type of girl you are dealing with. Get to know her a bit first (because that's why you two are in this position anyway) before you choose what method to take.

Remember, every girl is different. Some girls would rather hear it now and cry about it later; others only want you to let them off the hook gradually. They will understand. Know what type of person you are dealing with before you choose a method of departure, as that will mean all the difference between "I'll see you around" and "I hate your guts."