Heely's Roller Skate Shoes for Adults

Although he is 30, and I am 25, my boyfriend and I are the biggest kids you could ever meet. Yeah we may look all adult like but when new toys or cool gadgets come out for kids, we are the first in line to give it a try.

When Heelys first came out and kids were zipping by us in local malls and streets with these shoes on wheels we had to have a pair. Turns out it took them awhile to come out with adult sizes. So we grumbled at the facts that only kids can have fun. WHY?! Why can't we have fun? Why can't I zip by on these new roller shoes? Why are all of the cool things designed for kids!? What about me!?

Yep that rant sounded a bit childish, but wah, I wanted some damn Heely's!

During Christmas time our wishes were granted, someone must have tipped the Santa Gods over at Heely's because here they were right before my very eyes in adult sizes in a local Foot Locker.

The pink ones called out my name, while my boyfriend browsed his many colors of foot toys. I picked the pink pair up and was shocked by their $75 asking price. My boyfriends jaw also dropped when his read $80.

We shrugged the price off and tried not to think about it. We took the plunge, we had to. How else were we going to be cool man?

The idiotic sales woman tried giving us a demonstration on how to use them and hook the wheels on and off. This demonstration was just annoying, we just wanted to pay, get the hell out of there and put them on. We could figure out all of the stupid technical crap later. However little miss muffet thought we needed this ridiculous lesson.

She first told us to get a size larger than our normal shoe size because Heely's are tighter and stiffer than a usual shoe. She was right, I went from an 8 to a 9, while Raymond needed a size 13. She then had us lace the shoes, and walk around for a moment to get a feel for them. They were different, she was right about that. It felt like I was walking with my feet nailed to wooden boards. I could tell immediately that it was going to take quite some time to break these suckers in and make them comfortable for normal walking.

I wasn't interested in wheeling around in the tight packed store, so I told her we had to go. However she seemed a bit focused on Raymond. Damn hussie arse bimbos in shoe stores.

I dragged him out, and we made our way home with our new stiff shoes.

The Heely's came with a key. This key is to lock and unlock the wheels. This concept was annoying, because if you lost the key you had to buy a new one. It was also annoying knowing I would have to change them on a constant. You could walk around with the wheels sticking out, but it makes you lean froward and makes the way you walk look like you are tippy toeing around.

At home we interlocked the wheels and tried learning how to roll about. This proved to be a dangerous lesson in balance. You see, the wheels are positioned in the back and you have to sort of lean back to get full contact with the wheel to the floor. This task was not easy, and as I began tripping and falling on a constant, I wondered, was I too old for this shoe? Were they meant for kids for a reason? Probably, but my determination drove me forward.

It took hours to get comfortable wheeling around on them, and even still I felt unbalanced and wobbly. Raymond was also frustrated with the non-stop urge to zipping around like the kids do. He however gave up before I did. He basically just said they were dangerous, and didn't feel like throwing out his back. $80 down the drain. I also knew he wouldn't wear them without the wheels because of the stiff tight feeling of the shoe.

I too gave up afterward, I must have fallen down at least 20 times, and the times I didn't fall down I was tripping over myself.

The whole concept of adult Heely's was nice, but they were originally designed for children for a reason. If they fall they don't have to worry about breaking their hip or being out of work for a month collecting disability.

I do though feel that parents should be wary about buying these over priced shoes for their kids, they still pose a danger. I would recommend buying them a pair of roller blades, at least roller blades provide support to the ankle, where Heely's do not. I feel that children will be spraining and or breaking their ankles using Heely's a lot more than they would on some sturdy blades.

OVERALL:

Adult Heely's and children's Heely's are just a dangerous expensive waste of money. They may look cool when you see a kid zipping by you, but once you have them on there is nothing cool about them. Unless you have patience and excellent balance they're going to be more frustrating than they will be fun. Even if you do get it down, you still run the risk of hitting a pebble or crack in the ground and landing on your face.

RECOMMENDATION:

Leave them on the shelves, and go buy a pair of roller blades for half the price.