Hell is Pink and Covered in Glitter: Bratz in a New Film This Summer

So I find out in the paper last week that there will be a Bratz movie coming out this summer. Of course I immediately I have to keep myself from gagging. What the hell is this? But I suppose it was inevitable with the massive popularity of these dolls that teach young girls that they need to be anorexic to be pretty. I watched the trailer for kicks, and I was a bit surprised by the decision to make a live action film. I have expected special effects to make their heads huge and noses invisible like the dolls, but that didn't happen.

And like all bad movie trailers, the viewer gets the whole story in 2 minutes. 4 girls go to a weird high school where the snotty bitch stereotype tries to destroy their superficial friendship (apparently the declaration of "bff" makes you bonded for life). Yadda yadda, choas ensues, they fight, they get back together, and decide it's time to take that popular bitch out. And what's the lesson? Instead of finding a complete sisterly bond, some women bond and compete against each other because somebody has to "take back the school".

I've been saying that the movie industry has been running out of ideas for years, but this one takes the cake. Of course we've all seen a similar storyline before, but I bet some exec thought he'd be really smart and smack the Bratz name to it and make a fortune. And sadly he'll probably be right. The attached brandname and naming the 4 girl characters after 4 of the doll characters will surely bring in every little girl with a "passion for fashion". And the movie will try to say that these characters all have different personalities by dividing them neatly into different categories: one is a cheerleader (give me a break), the girl who likes to wear a lab coat is the 'brainy' one, there's a sporty one, and of course a singer (who also gets the guy). What about the young girl out there who likes to do more than one thing? I guess she's screwed. I also read this description online that these girls are supposed to be coming from "diverse racial and economic backgrounds". Of course I haven't seen the movie, but I doubt that any of these girls is from the projects. It also claimed that the characters find empowerment - trust me, there is no empowerment in becoming Bratz. What does that even mean? The trailer says they become Bratz and beat out that snotty bitch. Since when does the term 'brat' lose its negative connotation? If someone called me a brat, I'd be pretty offended. Somehow it's different if someone says I'm like the Bratz. Does that 'z' carry a lot of weight? No, it's just bad marketing (and spelling) that the public was dumb enough to go along with.

Ugh, makes me ill. Barbie received a lot of criticism at the height of her reign, but at least you can figure she went to college. Attorney Barbie went to law school, Dentist Barbie dental school, and even though Astronaut Barbie's outfit had giant purple puffy sleeves, you have to assume she got through NASA. What's a "passion for fashion" going to get you? Well, bffs, the cute guy, and clothes, of course! Because that's what Bratz want to teach - satisfaction through superficiality and consumerism. The characters of this film would never be happy without all three, so I guess the next generation of women shouldn't be either.