Hello Me!

It is often said that a woman's work is never done. And while that may be true, that is not the key to what separates women from men. The difference between the two is that women just don't know when to stop! We women have the unique ability of working ourselves ragged, hoping to satisfy other people, and then (rightfully) feeling underappreciated when other people are not satisfied by what we do. And we would be able to forgive the slight, if we did not lack the energy - or worse, the perspective - to do so. It seems we spend half of our lives looking for ways to get other people to validate us. The other half is spent trying to retrace our steps and find who we are again. And in the wake of all our confusion, self-loathing, and feelings of insufficiency are burnout, broken relationships, and a seemingly endless mound of "more work".

But, before you make up your mind to never do another thing for another person, ever, it would serve you well to just take a break. Seek solitude. Time alone without distractions such as work, negative thoughts, or other obligations, is good to have often. It will allow you to regroup your thoughts, rejuvenate your body, and reconnect with yourself. If you're lost without the company of someone else, think shopping is the only activity you can have fun doing by yourself, or simply don't know where to start, try these ideas:

1. Don't make plans

Think. Is there anything you have always wanted to try, but always found a reason not to? Or is there anything you want to do again that you put to the side for another day so that you could spend time with your kids? Well, now is your chance to pick up where you left off - or journey to where you've never ventured before! Set aside one day during the week to do absolutely nothing but the activities you want to do.

This is your opportunity to swim unabashedly at the beach or start on a new scrap booking project. Take a voice lesson or just sit at home and finally get back to that book you started reading a year ago and never finished. Choose two or three activities to fill your day so you get a fulfilling sample of the various interests that your day-to-day schedule may not allow. Be sure to set aside at least three to four hours for each activity so that you don't feel your time on any one activity has been shortchanged. Before you go out, promise yourself that you won't feel guilty for taking the day off. It's just one day! Your responsibilities will be taken care of - tomorrow.

2. Eat out

Treat yourself to lunch at your favorite restaurant. Bring along a journal or notebook to jot down your thoughts as you wait for your food to arrive. Order something you have never tried before - you may be pleasantly surprised. Or at the very worst, you'll learn what not to order next time!

3. Bubble bath

An inexpensive alternative to spending sixty dollars or more for a day at the spa is to create your own home spa in your bathroom. Place candles along the counter and beside the tub (be careful). For added ambiance, burn a calming incense scent. When you fill your tub with warm water, add bubble bath or bath crystals. If you're feeling super-indulgent, sprinkle rose petals in the tub, as well. Then light the candles, turn of the lights, soak, and release!

4. Movie night

Remember that movie you've been waiting for months to arrive in theaters? The one that none of your friends or family wants to see because they say the previews were lame and that it looks like a waste of money and time? Yeah, that one! Don't wait for it to come out on video. Get out and buy your ticket ASAP! And don't even think about calling your friends before you go to try and convince them to see it with you. This is your movie date with you!

You may be thinking, "I don't want to sit in the theater by myself!" Even if you do feel slightly uncomfortable at first, after the feature begins, you'll be too engulfed in what's happening on screen to worry about who is not sitting beside you. You may even find yourself laughing a little harder at the one-liners or crying more recklessly for the broken-hearted heroine than you would if had someone with you to whisper back and forth with throughout the film. Think you'll be distracted by all the couples surrounding you? Try catching one of the earlier shows, when fewer people go to the theater. Then, sit back, relax, and enjoy your well-deserved two hours of uninterrupted entertainment!

5. Paint your nails

Sure, it's nice to just sit back in a chair at the salon, watching the designer work her magic on your nails, but keep in mind: pampering is not limited to having someone else do for you. It's doing for yourself, as well. So, get out your favorite color and get busy! As you try to paint "within the lines", appreciate your hands and give thanks for all that you can accomplish with them. Once your nails are dry, appreciate your feet!

6. Play trivia

Bring out your inner genius without being embarrassed by what you don't know. Dig out the old trivia cards, or buy a new trivia game. Don't worry about keeping score, just find a comfortable spot around the house and quiz away! You may even be surprised by some of the answers you know!

7. Have a "private party"

You don't have to go out to a crowded club or on a smoky dance floor to get down - you can dance the night away right in your own living room! The great thing about dancing is that you don't have to make any arrangements for it, since all you need is you and your favorite music.
If you love dancing, then this activity will come very easily and you'll enjoy every minute of it. My favorite dance music is up-tempo and loud, with heavy bass and a catchy beat! If it's not like you to bust a move, then start off with some slow music, first. Then gradually up the ante and let yourself go!

8. Keep a record

Chances are - if you're a woman, you've got stories. Think about an experience in your own life that you remember vividly and has taught you something very worthwhile (most likely, you will have many). Write the anecdote down and tie it in with some wisdom you took away from that experience. Keep your story in a cute envelope or journal. After you return to "everyday life", you'll have a "life lesson" to share with someone who may become encouraged by it.

The main thing to remember during your time alone is to enjoy yourself. By spending quality (read: undisturbed) time alone, you will feel ready to take on life with a more grounded sense of purpose. Your "burden" of looking out for others will be lifted as you rediscover that selfless service is part of you. Your ability to give of yourself is one of many gifts that make you, as a woman, unique and invaluable!