Hell's Kitchen Season 6 | 2009 | Episode 5

The episode starts out with the famished execs parading upstairs for a bite of grub. Dave struggles to unfasten a boxed-up oven entree, but instead drops it-and then drops it again. It's quite an amusing spectacle to behold! (Yes, I'm a jackass!)

As the next day dawns, the Chefs stumble downstairs to meet Mrs. Latasha James. Her husband, Staff Sergeant Otis James (Marine Core) just flew in from Iraq after an extended stay. The chefs' mission is to host a lavish 'Welcome Home' surprise party for him.

For the next challenge, each team must assemble "one stunning appetizer and two stunning entrees." Latasha pulls Robert and Suzanne aside to explain Otis's culinary preferences. For the most part, it appears he enjoys shrimp, baked potatoes, and Southern cooking! This excites Robert, who exclaims during confessional, "Baby, I could kiss you right now! That's my bag, man!"

Both teams are then given 50 minutes to arrange three winning dishes. Robert chooses a collaborative leading style; he dictates the basic principles (e.g. Soulfood), but allows enough autonomy for each chef to conjure his own dish. Suzanne, on the other hand, just barks out precise orders, without ever really explaining Otis's likes and dislikes.

First Challenge Results

Ariel (Caesar Style Salad) vs Kevin (Spicy Seafood-Style Goya Base) | Winner - ARIEL (RED)
Amanda (Bacon Wrapped FIllet) vs Andy (4-Cheese Macronia) | Winner - Andy (BLUE)
Suzanne (Broiled Lobster Tails w/Pasta) vs Robert (NY Stripped) | Winner - Robert (BLUE)

In return for their speculator performance, the men are afforded an opportunity to serve as certified fighter-jet pilots for the day-maneuvers, acrobatics, and the "thrill of a lifetime"! The Ladies, on the other hand, must decorate the entire dining room.

Sabrina laments, noting that, "We never heard of the words soul-food." The consensus is that if Suzanne had been a better leader, she would have allowed Tennille to prepare some Southern Jambalaya-which may have then secured their victory.

To aid the Ladies, Chef Ramsay drags his wife Donna in to assist with coordinating the decorations. She's a sexy, blonde, and tantalizing buxom beauty with an erotic British accent. I cannot imagine what they must sound like while engaging in dirty-talk sex!

While the Ladies continue to decorate and blow up helium balloons, the gentlemen setup shop as Chuck-Yeager dog-fighters. Once the front pilot has them leveled out in the air, the guys take over, dashing the plane from side to side and even upside down. The best part is that-like a flight simulator-they get to blow each other up. Fun stuff!

After the men swagger back into Hell's Kitchen, the Ladies sprint over to study the recipes chosen by the men. Unfortunately, the guys maintain a chokehold on the info, deciding instead to reveal only the most-necessary details. Talk about trying to sabotage the Red Team!

Hell's Kitchen Opens

The menu tonight includes stuffed mushrooms, fried catfish, and a grilled serpent something.

After the doors to Hell's Kitchen open and the seats pile up with guests, Sergeant James arrives to a tremendous and rather emotional applause. Says Chef Ramsay (the quintessential Gentlemen/Douche), "On behalf of all of us here at Hell's kitchen, it is absolutely an honor to welcome you home." To top it all off, James' Mother-whom he has not seen in years-arrives.

F**K UPS

Sabrina screws up first by putting out some raw-cold mushrooms.

An overly focused-as in not paying attention to Chef Ramzey-Jim is next; but is bailed out by Kevin, who helps him stay caught up during the "Steak-o-Rama."

The biggest blunders tonight though come from Tek. First, she fashions some "blue" raw steak. She then returns with burnt steaks instead. Yells Chef Ramsey, "I'm so embarrassed! What's the matter with you, Madam?"

In the meantime, the Blue Team dispatches their last appetizer and begins preparing their entrees. Mind you, not all is well with the gentlemen. Andy expresses in confessional his anxiety over Dave's performance, feeling that Dave will be unable to carry out his duties efficiently-what with his screwed up hand. Dave, however, proves that neither broken bones nor a hater can stop him from excelling.

After Tek screws up some more steaks, Chef Ramsey yanks her into the 'Closet of Doom,' where he inquires, "What are you doing? You're not even with me!" After the lecture, Tek rushes out of the closet yelling at the gals to 'Come On!'

Lo and Behold, the Blue Team receives their first reprimand. Jim is grilled for "performing appendicitis surgery" on the steaks. Despite this slight setback, Jim manages to knock out the final entrée, allowing the men to start pushing out deserts.

And just as the guys finish their entrees, Tek delivers her very first entrée. Unfortunately, the orders are missing a crucial element: the LOBSTER! Amanda tried in haste to assist Tek, but only fumbled herself by preparing raw lobster.

Absolutely disgusted at the Ladies' performance, an enraged Chef Ramsey yells, "STUPID COWS!" The men, on the other hand, have completed all their orders and are therefore recruited to lend a hand to the girls. This in indeed a momentous occasion for all misogynists worldwide-myself included! (hehe)

With the men now leading the red kitchen, all the remaining orders are quickly eliminated.

Judgment

An infuriated Chef Ramsay snarls, "Ladies! That was crap! Before you even sent one entrée, the men had completed every entrée! You guys are slipping fast!"

The Ladies then stagger back up to the loft, where they must now choose two women to send home. Joyous Robert, who bellows, "YEAHHHHHHHHH", interrupts their session! Calm down, Lil Jon! Or should I say, BIG Jon!?

But the girls continue their discussion undeterred, with Tech bewailing, "I don't want to go home! I want to be here until the end!"

But as Suzanne makes abundantly clear, "No more pussy-footing." It's time to make the tough decisions, whether Tek likes it or not.

Before lurching back downstairs to the elimination ceremony, Sabrina attempts to throw Tennille under the bus, arguing that she is the weakest link. I entirely disagree. Her previous performances were below par, but she has without a doubt earned the right to stay.

Elimination

Thankfully, Tennille is chosen by Chef Ramsay to reveal the nominees. After naming Tek, she (for some unknown reason) points the finger at herself, noting that the Ladies' feel her performances have been "deflated" during the last several services.

Chef Ramsey then asks her who she feels should be the second nominee. After pinpointing Amanda, Tennille is then called up-along with Tek and Amanda-for the final judgment.

When questioned as to why she should remain in Hell's Kitchen, Tennille points out the enormous improvement-since the last episode-in her culinary performance. I couldn't agree more.

As for Tek, she says, "I don't want to go out of Hell's Kitchen as a failure."

And Amanda cries, "I know I can get more vocal and stronger as I go"-which Chef Ramsey finds unconvincing.

He asks, "Are you done? I think you're done. I don't see anything left."

Ultimately, Tek is chosen to leave. She tried her best, but came up far too short of the prize. Take care and good luck.

Next Week's Preview

As far as I can tell, Robert has a heart-attack and Tennille mouths off to Chef Ramsey.