Hell's Kitchen Season Three Premiere

Hell's Kitchen just sounds like an unpleasant place to be. I've heard lot's of talk about this show and the terror that Chef Gordon Ramsay instills in the contestants. So what's it all about I wondered? Not a huge fan of abusive, screaming people and reality shows, but a big fan of shows involving kitchen competition I thought I'd check it out. I also thought I would just despise Chef Ramsay. People seem to just love this man and his "style". I was wondering just why anyone would subject themselves to screaming, yelling, cussing, and generally bad behavior from anyone. Of course then I heard the prize at the end of this boot camp. A job as Head Chef with a $250,000 salary at an upscale resort in Las Vegas seems like a good incentive. I do have to admit after watching this that I'm not hating Chef Ramsay like I thought I would (I wouldn't ever work for someone like that, but to each his own). In fact, I'm liking this show so far which I'm pretty positive wouldn't matter one bit to Chef Ramsey or any of these people.

For anyone unfamiliar with the show, here's a brief rundown on the concept: 12 contestants are picked to compete for the end prize as described above. They must prepare food and be judged on the food quality and their performances in the kitchen. In the first episode they must prepare their signature dish and be judged by Chef Ramsay. Then they are divided into teams to prepare meals for patrons of Hell's Kitchen.

So let's get on with the show: We open to Chef Ramsay sitting quietly and describing how this season he will not yell; no one will make mistakes, and he will not swear. Then to the relief of many long time viewers I'm certain, he says "who am I kidding". We then see snippets from the season to come: crying; screaming; passing out; an ambulance; "don't die on me". Apparently it is the drama that draws people into this show.

The contestants are brought into the restaurant, one of them completely irritating me already with clapping her hands like a little girl. That's Jen the pastry chef from a small town. Oh please, give me a break and act like an adult (a sentiment I think I will repeat often during the course of this show). Jean Phillipe, the maitre d', introduces himself and begins to describe how he has worked with Chef Ramsay, but is interrupted by the man himself and told to cut the crap. He then barks out their first assignment, which is to impress him with their signature dish in a short amount of time.

First up is Vinnie, a nightclub cook who has made a chorizo encrusted pink snapper. Ramsay looks at him and asks, "where's the snapper?", Vinnie looks a little stunned. Ramsay tastes it, exclaims "gawd" and asks if he really thinks someone would eat all of it because it's so hot. Vinnie replies "I don't think so" about the heat in an arguing tone that the Chef calls him on. "You want to argue?" then sends him off with a "jerk" comment I think.

Next we have Joanna, who is 22 and an assistant chef I am pretty sure. She interviews that she will flirt and manipulate to be able to get what she wants out of Chef R. She's prepared him a drink with her meal which he promptly gives back to her...hee. She has made a parmesan crusted chicken with whole wheat pasta. It's hilarioius that the editors have put in a little "ding" sound every time she tries to "flirt". I put flirt in quotations because honey, if that's flirting you must be single still. She scrunches her face up and smiles in what she obviously thinks is cute and flirty, but is just silly and weird. Seriously, that's just bizarre, freaky flirting. Ramsay doesn't seem like he cares and deems the spaghetti ok but the chicken dry and salty.

Rock, the executive chef who is 30 and doing this for his wife and kid (s?), walks up confidently. The Chef is impressed that he had time to make gnocci with his pan seared scallops. Poor Rock admits readily that he didn't and he used frozen gnocchi. Ramsay doesn't even bother tasting the dish, as he's pretty pissed that the guy served frozen gnocchi to him. I guess it's a no-no, but I always wonder on these types of shows if they aren't supposed to use an ingredient, why is it available to them? Ah well, I think Rock might do ok though anyway. I am kind of liking him so far and don't know why.

Josh is next and he's a Jr. Sous Chef, ummm, somewhere. He interviews that "food is sex" blah blah and wants to make people "feel like you just had great sex" after they taste his food. To which I promptly say, ewww. Ramsay declares his fois gras is raw...and hilariously places the raw portion in Josh's hands. He's not impressed. I guess sex to Josh is like slimy, raw, chewy livers?

My DVR freaked out right about now (before or after Bonnie I'm not sure). Darn thing is dying on me I think. So I lost Eddie and Brad but here's is what I gather from talk about the show:

Eddie, who has some type of kidney disease, made scallops that the Chef said were raw. He was complemented for having a good palate when he was asked to taste competitor Brad's scallops and Ramsay agreed with his assessment.

Brad apparently made scallops with a vanilla sauce? The only thing I heard about this was that the vanilla sauce was off putting.

So far the food is not liked at all by the Chef. Next up is Bonnie, a nanny and personal chef or in other words a babysitter who cooks. She interviews that Chef Ramsay is "scary and makes me want to pee my pants" but that he's also kind of hot. She serves him the impressive three cheese course. Did you detect the sarcasm? When Ramsay asks her to describe it in a certain order she says that no, it goes the other way. He's pretty incredulous that it makes a difference and asks her the same question a couple of times, I think trying to get her to admit that no, it really doesn't matter. He was seriously not impressed.

Now we get to Jen, the small town hand clapping pastry chef who groans when he uncovers her dish and has to bend over, about passing out. She recovers and walks up for his assessment, which is not so good. He's taken aback by what he calls a large amount of alcohol on her vanilla crepe with carmelized apples. Peach schnapps was her liqueur and I have to say I think that would be my reaction also. He says her pancake is too thick, not even bothering to call it a crepe, which should be thin.

Finally someone he can celebrate the food with, Melissa who is a line cook. She whines in interview that she is judged by her looks but honey if you don't like it, dress a bit more appropriately for the kitchen and don't flaunt the boobs so much. It's just a thought. She's actually fairly confident and has made a pepper crusted steak with asparagus that Ramsay says "wow" to and says he's finally tasted something delicious. She gratefully thanks him.

Julia, a short order cook we find out later is from the Waffle House, is next. Ramsay uncovers her plate, says "my", lifts it and asks whose plate it is and Julia steps forward. She is asked to come forward with Tiffany, and both will taste each other's plates. Julia has made a plate of chicken fried chicken pasta. Tiffany is asked what she thinks and proclaims the sauce too peppery. Ramsay agrees saying the chicken is delicious but spoiled by the pepper in the sauce. Heck, I'd take the half complement by the Chef as a victory at this point.

Julia is then asked what she thinks of Tiffany's dish and says she likes it. Chef Ramsay then asks her if she would order it in a restaurant and she says yes she would with the Chef agreeing. So only two dishes out of eleven so far get a good nod.

Aaron, who now I think I got out of order in this lineup, poor Aaron is called an "Asian cowboy and Chunky Monkey" for the cowboy hat and getup he's wearing and for being chubby. He's a retirement home chef which I don't think bodes well for him. Seriously, who thinks of gourmet food and retirement home? Anyway, he has made what looks like a tasting plate with those silly soup spoons and some other stuff. Ramsays proclaims one portion of his dish to be "nice, but get rid of this" which is basically the rest of what he made. Then he tells Aaron that he thinks he doesn't know when to stop. Another partial victory really because it looks like any complement is a good thing so far.

The chefs are divided into two teams by gender and the same gender sous chef is assigned to oversee them, Scott and Mary Ann. They are to prepare meals from appetizer to dessert, for the newly reopened "hottest ticket in town" Hell's Kitchen. The only reason I can see for these patrons to go to Hell's Kitchen is to get their 15 seconds on television because, as we soon find out, they don't get to eat much. The whole night seems to be a disaster, but I'll talk about the boy's team, dubbed the Blue team, first. OH I almost forgot, and seriously HOW could I forget, as Ramsay is explaining things Aaron the Asian cowboy begins bawling. He's just outright bawling and can't explain why or stop himself. Ramsay tells him to stop, and he seems to stop for a bit. That just can't bode well for Aaron for the rest of the competition since he wasn't even getting yelled at.

Brad apparently takes the lead in the kitchen. Briefly, things don't go well at all. Aaron seems out of his element and is attempting to make ice cream, but Rock has to tell him that he is tempering the eggs the wrong way. The patrons are waiting for an appetizer for over an hour, no food has left the kitchen. Vinnie is making the risotto appetizer and just mucking it up, when he runs out of vegetable stock he starts using water. They're out of stock? How many times did they mess up the food? Chef Ramsay finds out he's using water in the risotto and after tasting it calls it "gnats piss" as if we all know what gnat's piss tastes like. Vinnie proclaims that vegetable stock is just like water because vegetables are just water, or something equally stupid. I don't know Vinnie, did you forget about flavor? He then begins laughing at Ramsay and his British terms. He says he didn't know what "rubbish" meant and it just seemed hilarious to him. Seriously, you don't get out much do you Vinnie? Ramsay seems about as happy with Vinnie as I am at this point. He's then sent to wash dishes the rest of the evening, which is pretty funny. Josh is brought in to get the risotto done. We hear that after two hours the patrons have been served 29 appetizers by the men's side of the kitchen. Two hours and all they've gotten is some appetizers! I sure hope they ate before they arrived.

We now learn that Aaron is 48 and he's been preparing the chicken, which is found to be black on the bottom. Ramsay sends it back to be redone. Next thing we as viewers see, Aarong is crying again and is told by Ramsay to wipe his nose and "we're not serving chicken and snot" . Ewww. At some point here Aaron has a dizziness attack and says he's taking 5 minutes, which the other chefs look pretty ticked about. On the Fox site for this show apparently Ramsay actually encouraged him to take five minutes and get fresh air, but it's not shown on the show. It actually surprised me to see he is fairly gentle on Aaron as he tries to talk him back into the kitchen. Maybe he was scared of a big crying guy.

Pretty soon we've found out that there is no chicken left except four portions, the rest is gone. They messed up the food that much? Scott the sous chef overseer is losing his cool about the chicken being gone, no beef wellingtons, and other stuff. Heck, I didn't know they were even trying the beef dish.

On to the girls team who were shown in the loft (kitchen?) prior to beginning service saying they had to work together and that women can work together better and blah blah blah. We as viewers all know now that they are not going to work together are they? They are shown arguing and bitching at each other pretty much throughout the whole service. They also can't get an appetizer out in an hour. Joanna, miss scrunchy face, is shown being very bossy saying she tried to take the lead. Apparently her idea of lead is bossy and condescending, seriously talking down to the other ladies. Sweetheart, at age 22 and having just met all of these other chefs, do you think they are going to listen to you? My first guess would have been no way. I don't know about anyone else, but I seriously don't like her at all so far. Waffle House Julia is trying to help and is getting completely ignored by the other women. I give her credit for continuing to try to help, especially when she sees the eggs not going out.

Speaking of those stupid eggs, they are apparently part of the big appetizer for the women. Tiffany is on the eggs and her first batch are deemed "like plastic silicone implants" by Chef Ramsay. They are told to try again. So we see multiple failures by Tiffany to fry an egg. Julia tries many times to help, and is ignored. Bonnie then is asked to help, because I'd choose a nanny any day over a breakfast restaurant line cook to fry a bunch of eggs, wouldn't you? Seriously, are these women that stupid? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a Waffle House line cook is going to know how to cook an egg quickly. Tiffany actually pushes her away at one point. Julia ends up crying and Ramsay notices, asking her to explain what is wrong. She says she's getting ignored although she's trying to help. He ends up pulling Tiffany off the line and putting Melissa in charge, who promptly puts Julia the short order cook on the eggs. I'll give her credit for some brains there. Tiffany interviewed that she thought Julia just wanted to take over to highlight herself. Geez, never mind all the people who actually might want to eat.

Melissa does well to begin with, but gets pretty bossy and fairly insulting. They are told many times during all of this to stop arguing, poor sous chef Mary Ann is just amazed at how they are acting. Julia seems to be producing cooked eggs like crazy. Is anyone else NOT amazed that she could do this?

Finally, and I think mercifully, Ramsay just shuts down the kitchen and tells Jean Phillipe to send the patrons packing. I guess this is a frequent occurence in Hell's Kitchen. So again, the only reason to eat there is because you want to be on TV. I like food too much to wait that long and not get to eat. So Vinnie gets called out and then begins arguing with the Chef. "I didn't know what you wanted" while Ramsay calls him a "two faced lying little f...er". Vinnie continues to talk back as Rock gets this pained look on his face and puts his hand on Vinnie's shoulder trying to hint to him to shut up. I'm still liking Rock. Aaron is asked how he's feeling and Ramsay seems truly concerned, rather than condescending. That surprised me a bit.

They are all told there are no winners but that the girls team are the biggest losers for the arguing. He calls them "Hell's Bitches", which is a pretty good assessment of most of them it seems. Frankly they are an embarrassment to ovaries everywhere. He picks Melissa as the best of the worst, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like that distinction. She is told she will nominate two of her fellow women to be put on the chopping block for elimination. As she sits down with each of the women, they tell her why they should stay and who should go. Seems Waffle House Julia is being put down by all of them. Joanna calls Julia clueless. So clueless she didn't know who would be good at making fried eggs, right? Oh wait, that was all the rest of you wasn't it? Tiffany is talking with Melissa and smoking up a storm. She says the service sucked and that she doesn't want to go home. She says with disdain that Julia works in a "f-ing Waffle House for god's sake" and saved our butts tonight by getting some food out tonight. Actually I think I added the part about saving our butts. She's just so much better than Julia. Melissa then says "you're not going home, no way" to Tiffany, to which I say,"oooh, you are SOOOO going home".

Next we see Melissa nominates Joanna for the poor communication and, drum roll please, Tiffany because the appetizers took so long. Tiffany looks shocked and frankly I don't blame her. I instantly love and despise Melissa. I love that she nominated Tiffany because she was way too snobby about the Waffle House cook but hate that Melissa was so two faced in telling her "you're not going home". I absolutely don't like liars. Ramsay asks Tiffany to leave. too his credit Aaron seems to know he was darn lucky the boys didn't lose.

So who are people going to be rooting for to win this thing? Underdog Julia and nice guy Rock are my two favorites so far. I don't think Julia will win it, but hope she goes far. I would love to see Joanna or Vinnie go next. I might change my mind later on because we didn't see much of some of the others. I'd like to see more of Eddie, Brad, and some of the others and I'm sure we will. Poor Aaron just can't last long in this competition, can he?

I hope I remember to watch this show next time. It was strangely fascinating.