Help Your Child Manage TV Time

Many experts advise against toddlers and preschoolers watching television. And most of us parents read it, think "oh, that's not us" and turn on the TV. Or teach the kids to turn it on themselves. After all, shows can be educational. Watching TV can move a preschool child from one transition to the next: from dinner to bedtime routine for instance; or from getting up to getting dressed and eating breakfast; or while Mommy puts baby down for a nap; or….as you see, the list can get endless.

My oldest daughter wanted my full attention all the time. Probably most first children do. What else is there to do after all? So when she expressed in her baby way by dancing or hooting that she enjoyed Barney or Elmo or TeleTubbies, I encouraged that. Five minutes spent with dancing stuffed creatures on television was five minutes that she was not demanding my attention. As time went on, and my daughter grew more aware of the TV, she watched more and more television each day.

I still wasn't worried. Even when I read studies that cited hyperactivity or attention deficit disorder as a result of "too much" television for preschool children. Even when I read the study that said preschool children who watch more than two hours of television per day have a much more difficult time in first grade. After all, my daughter didn't really watch TV. She played; danced; acted out stories; played outside; dressed up; did puzzles; colored; and looked at books. But all of these activities were played out in front of the TV. She very firmly wanted it on at all times.

As a family, we do not have cable television. Our child watched public television exclusively. But there are a lot of really good and fun shows on public television: Barney, Clifford the Big Red Dog; Clifford's Puppy Days; Dragontales; Arthur: Maya and Miguel; Cyberchase; Buster's Postcards; and of course, the perennial favorite, Sesame Street. My daughter loved all of those television shows, and was loathe to give up a single one of them.

After our daughter turned four, I noticed that with the TV off, she was only willing to engage in activities like playdough, or coloring for a few minutes at a time. The rest of the time, she was moping around the house, asking when the next show would be on, or begging to watch videos. She had begun to just lay on the floor in front of the TV, with her little feet up on the entertainment center, and just watch television. In the five or so minutes between educational, public television shows, she'd jump up and ask me to do something with her, or start an activity, but as soon as she heard the music of the next show coming from the television set, she would stop mid-sentence and go lay in her spot.

I could have just shut the television off. I am the parent, after all. But that would just impose an external control. I thought that at four years old, she would learn more about television watching and time management if I engaged her in the process somewhat. A four year old is a very visual, hands-on child. What they can see and touch is very important to them. So I gave my daughter "tokens": gold pretend coins from a pirate-themed birthday party. I gave her five of them. Each token represents a show that lasts thirty minutes or a video that is thirty to forty minutes in length.

The rest of it is up to her. She knows the schedule of shows, after all. A four year old obsessed with watching TV knows their shows and when they come on. She can plan how many shows in the morning she watches and how many in the afternoon. If she blows her tokens watching three shows in the morning, and a video at lunchtime, then she will only get one show in late afternoon. And because I did not impose that consequence, but left her in charge of it, she doesn't complain a whole lot about it.

She is only four. I bought several puzzles, card games, activity books, and board games to fill the gap. I explain to her before I take a token what it means to have only two left. And yes, I did arbitrarily decide the amount of tokens she gets per day. A total of 2 ½ hours of television watching is a little more than I'd like to see, but it has stopped the endless, glazed-eye, unthinking use of television time. And hopefully, it is teaching my four year old to begin managing her time.