Help! My Daughter is Moving Across the Country!

I used to count down the days until my kids moved out of the house. The bouts with the refrigerator voice would send me into a dream world of "some day, I will be an empty nester". I smiled as I imagined a kitchen counter with no dirty dishes. I got misty-eyed thinking about unfettered access to the bathroom. The thoughts of only three loads of laundry a week would make me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Then my daughter Allison moved to Kansas City.

Both of my kids were on their own at 18 years old and I was an empty-nester at 37. Like many young adults, there were occasional "comebacks" - my door was open when they needed me.

When my son Trey moved to Jacksonville, Fl. at 20 years old for a job transfer, I sobbed as he drove away. He was only there for six months, but I got a taste of what it means to be a long-distance parent to an adult.

Answer the telephone
I get a huge kick out of the midnight calls on New Year's Eve. I used to call them when I was out for the evening or working, just to remind them that I was thinking about them. Now, they do the same for me.

The call might only last a few minutes. Maybe you'll chat for a few minutes online. If your child is attempting to make contact with you, it means you are still important in their lives and they might just be homesick.

You can still offer guidance
The 2005 hurricane season was terrifying for me. I knew that Trey didn't live on the beach, but I also knew that he had the sense of adventure of a young man. I really didn't want to see my son walking on the beach while The Weather Channel was reporting on the idiots watching the storm from the shore. He reassured me that I had nothing to worry about.

Years later, he confessed that he had gone to the beach for one hurricane, but knew enough to not be spotted by the cameraman.

Join Facebook
I joke that I joined Facebook to spy on my grown kids. In the real world, they aren't going to call you every day and fill you in on the dumb little details of their lives.

Being Facebook friends with your adult kids in another state means you get a glimpse into their new life. You "meet" their new friends and see pictures of the things they do and places they go. You learn about little problems they didn't want to bother you with.

Adapt
I have always insisted that we spend Christmas together and I told my kids "No matter where you go, you will be home for Christmas."

Allison called at the end of November. She was working for a temp service and her contract was until the December 31. She would fly home if I wanted, but would only be here for Christmas Day and have to go back the next day.

I knew it was hard for her to make that call and I said I understood. After I hung up, I cried a little, but we had a great six-day visit when she was able to get here.

And, she was able to see her brother before he moved to St. Petersburg, Fl.

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Teenage Driving and Letting Go of Grudges
Honesty and the Single Mother
The Hottest Mother's Day Ever