Help My Mate is Leaving Me Behind!

There have been big changes in your relationship and now you fear one of your mate's goals is to ditch you! What do you do when you feel they are moving on without you?

Get it on the table.
Sometimes honesty is the best policy when you fear a change. If you know something is likely to happen you can formulate a defense. Be ready for rejection before you ask the tough questions. Who knows, maybe the problem will be simple to fix and honesty might save your relationship!

Pay attention to the signals.
If your partner winces each time you bellow out the words to your favorite pop song, try not to sing loudly when your song comes on the car radio. Save it for the shower or when you are alone in the car. If your smoking makes your mate cough and wheeze, quit or smoke elsewhere and brush your teeth often. Sometimes our partners are suffering in silence and we are too wrapped up in our habits to notice.

Apologize.
Think of things you may have done today to irritate your partner. Are you really going to let them stew until nightfall? Unresolved issues can lead to more issues. If you've messed up, take responsibility and make it right, before things go terribly wrong.

Go it alone.
Take some time to get your priorities in order. If that means spending less time with your partner, it could mean less stress for both of you. Make plans with friends or spend more time on your career. When you make someone your world you are putting your life in their hands. Reclaim it and make it better...for both of you!

Ask for help.
Put your partner in charge of one aspect of your changes. If there are things your partner would like to change give them a chance, but to make things even, you might want to air some of your own grievances. Your partner might be able to help you tap into your potential and you into theirs! Grow together or you might find yourselves growing apart!

If you can't join 'em, beat 'em.
Good living is the best revenge. Raise the stakes by getting involved in whatever activity your mate seems to be leaving you for and become really good at it! If your mate is thinking of leaving because they are losing a lot of weight and you are stuck in your unhealthy lifestyle, exercise and watch what you eat. If you excel at something that was previously a problem your mate will see a better you, then it's up to you to decide if THEY are worth the effort.

Prepare for good-bye.
Just like an employee preemptively looking for a new job, it's a good idea to have a fall back position. (Friends to stay with, activities to help you grieve the relationship.)

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. We learn from everyone in our lives and if the worst happens and the two of you part company take the lessons this relationship gave you and go into the world stronger for the experience.