Help! My Partner Does Not Want Kids

Most of us all get into that extra comfort zone in a relationship where we want to have children, but what happens when the other partner is not intrigued by that thought at all? What do we do? Should we hang in there until our partner is ready, or should we just let them go?

The first thing you should do is definitely look at your financial situation. Will you and your partner have enough money to take care of a baby? Will you have to get a new job? Will you have to change your career? Will you have to buy a house, or rent a bigger apartment? Will you need a car? I am sure you all have heard it before, but babies do cost a lot of money, let me say that again babies do cost a lot of money, and if you think babies' are expensive, wait until you get into the toddler years and so forth. Children come with a lot of unexpected expenses, so keep that in mind. Take this survey to find out how much it will cost to raise a baby for a year. Remember that you must keep a consistent cash flow.

Once you have figured out if you can financially support a baby or not the next questions to ask yourself would be, Is he/she the one I want to share parenting with? Is he/she the one I want to watch my baby grow with? Most importantly ask yourself, Do I really know him/her? You won't believe how many women and men get into relationships and have a child only to end up with a very cruel, disheartened partner for the father or mother. I remember this one situation where these high school sweet hearts had a child and the father ended up filing false reports with DSS, just because he felt vengeful towards the mother. In another case two love birds had a child and a few months after the child's birth ,the mother filed for custody and left the loving father with very limited visitations. So definitely take caution when choosing the person to have a child with. Also ask yourself, Does this person love, respect, and support me? Does he abuse me? Does he hurt me in anyway?

Once you have decided if this partner is the one you want to have a child with, then ask yourself, is marriage before child important to you?

Now that you have answered all these questions, you should be able to approach your partner with the question of having a child.

If your partner says he/she is not ready quite yet but will love to have a child with you in the future, don't get too upset , ask why. Your partner may come up with some very great reasons. Then only you can determine if it's priority for you to have a child right now or in the future? If you want to have a child right away, then it's obvious that the relationship that you are currently in will probably crumble if not crumble then it may become bitter. If you really love this person and believe that he/she is the best person to have a child with then I would advise you to wait it out. You and your partner should set up a list of financial or personal goals and an "X" amount of time to wait and have a child. If your relationship exceeds that X amount of time to have children, and all your financial and personal goals are met then perhaps it's time to move on.

Remember to be sensitive towards your partner's feelings about having a child, he/she just might not be mentally ready for a baby, being a parent is a very complex and time-consuming ob. Your partner might also feel a bit intimidated or insecure abut parenting, but actually, really wants to have a child. So definitely take the time to talk to your partner and lean why he/she is delaying parenting.