Help for People Looking for a Job

Looking for a job is a lot like grocery shopping. You know you would like to get what you want, but depending on price and availability, you might have to deal with an off brand for now.

I look at your career, the professional you see yourself as, as the steak of your job market. You would really love to bring it home tonight, but there aren't many cuts available now. Plus, some people have a lot more to offer for it right now. So, slide your resume in the till and hope that when your future employer sees it, they realize they can't afford to lose you. But, backup plans are nice.

The price of the job is also a nice thing to consider. Will the job keep you up all night when you know you're a naturally early riser? Are the hours long or unpredictable, and will that interfere with your new family, relationship, or pets? Can you really pay these tolls and live your life in a way you can deal with? If the answer is no or "I hope, because I have no other choice," then I would let the sale pass you by and continue shopping for now. I understand that sometimes you need something right now and if you pinch hard enough, or call in favors, then you can just afford it. My advice is to go ahead and take the job and when offered something better, throw it in the bin. Because, cliche, there is a difference between a job and a career, and it's surviving long enough to get to the career and not building your resume that you should worry about.

Another thing is not to take it personally. When walking around the market and looking at the blank shelves, do you think the store had automatically remove the items before you got there because they want everyone else to have a chance to buy, but you?Well, if you do, then seek out a psychiatrist. If not, then you are sane enough to keep reading. Employers are wanting people to work for them, and most of them are not that discriminating. Most employers want a warm, friendly, honest person. Think of the cashier. If you are nice, and show yourself as having some personality, then the person moves a little faster, treats your items a little better, and most importantly, they will make sure things get into the right bags so nothing is lost. A little personal connection goes a long way because at the end of the day, you will be the girl or the guy who blank. So learn how to sweet talk and get to know them a little, they are people too.

Please leave out jobs you were fired from, or at least put that you quit. On your application, they don't really care that much. You don't have to be perfectly honest, little white lies don't hurt. Do you honestly think that the store would care that you ate a grape? If you have a crappy resume, then you really need to depend on your personality, so make sure you look excited to start work.

And last but not least, pep yourself up. Tell yourself you look pretty or handsome, masturbate or have sex, buy a new dress, fix your makeup, get extra sleep, eat a little bit, and sweet talk yourself into bullshitting a bullshitter. Make sure you have a pretty smile on your face, or not if necessary. Talk to your mom if all else fails. Take deep breaths and love yourself and let it shine out like a breeze to kiss that scowling businessman or woman.