Help Your Tween Become More Assertive

By helping your tween become more assertive, you are helping them take their first steps into their teen years, and then later on into adulthood. The best way to help your tween to be more assertive, is to teach them from your example. When a tween is assertive, they can let others know what they want, or what they need without imposing their will on other people. They can stand up for themselves without having to fight, and they can get angry without getting mad. Getting mad indicates aggression, and aggression indicates hostility. These strategies that I have listed here can give you a place to start, when teaching your tween how to be assertive.

Tween Assertive Strategy #1

It's okay to tell others how you feel. If someone says, or does something that you don't like; it's okay to say so. If your tween was given a responsibility and he/she didn't do it; let him/her know that it makes you angry that he/she didn't do what they were told. It keeps the lines of communication open between the two of you.

Tween Assertive Strategy #2

Do not allow him/her to interrupt you when you are talking; and you in turn do the same for him/her. It has to do with respect, and it teaches your tween that you value what they have to say, and you want them to value what others have to say.

Tween Assertive Strategy #3

Teach your tween to be decisive when he/she says yes or no; and mean it. It will not leave them open to pressure from their peers.

Tween Assertive Strategy #4

Teach your tween to be clear about what he/she would, or wouldn't like. There's nothing worse than needing an answer about what he/she wants, and getting an "I don't know," for an answer.

Tween Assertive Strategy #5

Your tween needs to apologize only when he/she has done something wrong. It is okay to say "excuse me," or "pardon me" when you accidentally get in someone's way. That is being polite. When your tween apologizes for every little thing that he/she does, they are not respecting themselves.

Tween Assertive Strategy #6

Make sure you tween knows to look into the eyes of someone who is talking to him/her. It is showing that person respect, and placing a value on that person.

Tween Assertive Strategy #7

Teach your tween to stand up for himself/herself without being a bully. Sometimes they will be going against the majority. They can take their stand, and turn and walk away. There is hardly ever a necessity to fight.

Tween Assertive Strategy #8

When a problem comes up, teach your tween how to solve it. It could be a matter of sitting down with them and discussing situations. It is okay to discuss a problem with your tween without working it out for him/her.

Tween Assertive Strategy #9

Teach your tween to ask for help when they need it. If your tween waits for people to offer to help he/she might be disappointed. Besides, by asking for help, the job is getting done in a timely manner.

Tween Assertive Strategy #10

Make sure you teach your tween by your example. It will make a lasting impression, and also one that they can respect.

By helping your tween to be more assertive, you are helping them to have a high self-esteem; plus it enables them to establish positive relationships later on in life.