Helpful Books for the Military Wife

I became a Navy wife at the same time I was released from the Army. My new husband and I were transferred to a remote duty station, with the nearest military installation being almost three hours away. I felt lost and alone and misunderstood, and felt that I had nowhere to turn. Life as a Navy wife was far different than life as a soldier. My husband worked long hours, and his co-workers and their spouses were less than friendly, which led to me feeling even more isolated.

After 7 years of marriage and another remote duty station, we were finally transferred to a military installation this past fall. Over the last seven years, I turned to books about how to survive as a military wife, to help cope with my feelings of isolation and abandonment.

If you are new to military life, you are probably feeling like I was, especially if your husband is on a remote tour. Likewise, if you are a veteran military spouse, you may be looking to expand your knowledge of the inner workings of the military. I have written a three-part series, where I will review some of the books I have read during the last seven years that may be beneficial to you. I have written this with the military wife in mind, but military husbands may find this information helpful as well. You can find these books at your local library, or purchase them online, to help make your life as a military wife a little easier. Because, as we all know, most military wives may not be actually serving in uniform, but we are as much a part of the military life as the servicemen we support.

In this first installment, I have reviewed quite a few books that were written with the new military wife in mind.

Married to the Military: A Survival Guide for Military Wives, Girlfriends, and Women in Uniform, by Meredith Leyva. This book should be the starting point for any military spouse looking to expand his or her knowledge of the military. Written by a military spouse, this book covers everything from filing paperwork as newlyweds, to retirement. Just a few of the topics address are transferring to a new duty station, pay and personnel issues, deployments, maintaining a career as a military spouse, and childcare and schooling issues. Each chapter contains helpful anecdotes from other military spouses, that help reinforce the points made in the book. With a helpful chart of common military terms, and what they really mean, as well as a chart of common military acronyms, Leyva sets her readers up for success in the military world.

Today's Military Wife: Meeting the Challenges of Service Life by Lydia Sloan Cline. This book covers everything that a new military spouse needs to know - a brief history of the military, benefits and services, transfers and deployments. This book is geared more toward officers' wives, with its mentions of afternoon teas and socials, but would be a good reference point for enlisted wives as well.

Military Wives 101 by Tynisa Gaines. As a fiction novel, this book is less a resource for the military spouse, and more of a quick 'day-read.' The book does have potential, were it not for the numerous grammar and punctuation errors. Not to be used as a guide for military life, this book is the author's idea of married life in the military.

The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military by Gene Thomas Gomulka. Written by a former Army chaplain, this book is surprisingly light on the religious overtones. For dating couples, this book can be used as a tool to decide if marriage is the right choice. For those couples who have already tied the knot, it can be used to determine what areas in your marriage need work, and how to go about that task. A very good resource for all military couples.

Marriage and Military Life, For Dating and Married Couples by Gene Thomas Gomulka. This book is the 16-page companion volume to The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military, and addresses service-specific problems, which helps couples determine if marriage is right for them.

Solo-Ops: A Survival Guide for Military Wives by Hilary Martin. This book is geared toward new military spouses, but tends to show the military in a negative light. The author, a military brat and military spouse, has a very aggressive style of writing, and her tough-love approach to military life may not be suitable for all readers.

Navy Spouse's Guide by Laura hall Stavridis. An invaluable resource for new Navy wives, as well as those who have been following the fleet for a while, this book offers a one-of-a-kind look into all aspects of life as a Navy wife. Covering such topics as pay, social life, support groups, medical and legal issues, and childcare and educational issues, as well as separations and homecomings, and even spouse careers, the latest edition also includes information on e-mail communication, Internet resources and spouse leadership roles within the Navy.

Service Etiquette Fourth Edition by Oretha D. Swartz. This book is mainly an etiquette book, with a little bit of military manners added in. Mainly directed towards male military officers, this might be a helpful resource for new officer's wives, to get an understanding of how military social functions work.

Naval Ceremonies, Customs and Traditions, Sixth Edition by Royal W. Connell and William P. Mack. This book was written specifically for Navy officers, but is helpful for any wife that is interested in Navy history, and might also give some added insight into why the Navy does some of the things it does.

In my next installment, I will discuss books that were written for those wives that have a husband getting ready to deploy, or that is already deployed. I hope that these books can be of help to you.