Helpful Rules for the House Guest

As a social person you will invariably encounter rude or inconsiderate house guest. Some of them are simply unaware of how to act in someone else's home. Hopefully this article will shed light on ways to create a harmonious guest and host relationship. Below I've compiled a list of the biggest complaints and suggestions to help the host and the guest get along well together while respecting each other as well. Here is a list of a few basic, seemingly obvious ways to behave when invited as a house guest to someone else's home. Its always important to be kind and demonstration appreciation through respectful actions and not merely words.

After a few people entered my home and offended me with their behavior, I felt the need to address these specific issues. It was brought to my attention that some people are just not aware of basic courtesies and manners, so I aptly subtitled this article House Manners For Morons. We have all had parties or social gatherings that left us wondering why we even bothered the next morning as we surveyed our domicile trashed by rude or inconsiderate house guest. You know the ones who never seem to figure out where a garbage is, or simply don't understand the dishwasher isn't a miracle worker. The ones that make you wonder if their mother still does their laundry may be at risk for not being invited back too. So if you've had this problem before with a friend, feel free to direct them to this article.

Before You Arrive:

Ask the host if there is anything they need you to pick up on the way there, and even if they say no, at least show up with a bottle of wine, movie, or some kind of snack food.

If you bring something to someone else's house that must be returned by a certain time, you should be responsible for returning it, not the host.

If the neighborhood is crowded or there are a lot of guest arriving to the party creating limited parking spots, make sure you ask where to park.

Greetings & Introductions:

Properly greet all the people that live in the house that you're visiting when you enter no matter who it is you came to visit. You're in someone else's house and you should show respect to all that live there by greeting them properly like an adult. If they're on the phone or talking to someone, at least make eye contact and wave.

If you are invited to a house, ask permission before you invite anyone else. There's nothing ruder than inviting a stranger into someone's house without giving them respect enough to make the decision of who comes in their own home.

Properly introduce anyone you bring to someone else's house to everyone that lives there, and make sure they properly greet the host as well. No one likes a rude person they don't know, and you should instruct your acquaintance to be cordial as well.

Sometimes doors don't need to be knocked on. If you can see a light on in the bathroom, its pretty obvious someone is in there. Only knock if it has been an alarmingly long time before anyone has entered or left the bathroom. Also, a door to a personal bedroom that the hosts has gone into, probably doesn't need to be knocked on. If the host is in there, they're probably aware that people will wonder where they went, and then come back out in due time. Usually if someone is hosting a party and they leave the room, if they don't mind you following they will most likely leave the door open.

Treatment of Property:

Do not leave any door to the house open longer than it takes to walk through it. No matter how close your car is, if the door is left open at all, it will probably let bugs in. No one likes flies or mosquitoes in their house, so be courteous and leave the door barely ajar if you need to bring something inside that requires both arms, or just ask someone to get the door for you. Please use common sense.

Make sure when you close a door that it actually shuts and fits the lock into the door jam. Don't just walk out the door without checking if its actually been shut because leaving a large crack could let bugs in, and is unsafe for the residents.

If you are coming to stay at a house overnight with your significant other, do not have sex in a host's bed, or bed the host has let you live in. That's just completely incorrigible, and if you're not some hormonal maniac, you should be able to hold off acting like an animal in heat until you leave. If you have no self control, and do end up getting busy in someone else's bed, make sure you take the sheets off and wash them after.

Always make your bed, or put the spare mattress back where it was stored, and fold the sheets. If you were fortunate enough to have a bed provided for you, it is completely necessary that you help out the host and show your appreciation by putting things in their proper place.

If you don't know where something goes, ask the host instead of setting it down somewhere, and return everything where it belongs.

Throw things in the bag inside the garbage receptacle. If you miss, go over to pick up your trash, and place it in the bag. Never just assume someone is going to pick up after you.

If the bag is full of trash, take the garbage out, and ask where the bags are kept to put a new one in the container.

Do not insult any furniture, artwork, or bedding of the home that the host has so graciously allowed you to use. Passing judgment or insulting a person that allows you into their private home is incredibly rude, and should not be tolerated by anyone in the vicinity. If you hear someone being negative or insulting the decor, please correct them by reminding them it is not their house, and they should appreciate the invitation by showing gratitude and giving compliments instead of acting like a moron.

If you break something, offer to replace it exactly, or offer monetary compensation for the value of the object new, not used.

Dinner & Food Etiquette for House Guests:

Be aware if dinner is being served, and especially if you are invited to eat that dinner before you come over. It is pretty rude to come over during the host's dinner if you're not invited to eat with them even if you were invited to hang out that night. Just ask them to call you when they are done with dinner.

Never eat or drink the last of something you didn't purchase yourself. If there is one coke in the fridge, and you didn't buy them, just drink something else. It would be incredibly rude of you to drink it unless you asked the host. The wrong way to phrase the qustion would be "Can I please have this last coke? Please?". If you must ask at all, phrase the question more like, "Hey there's only one more coke left is anyone going to get more or should I just drink something else". Understand the best way to handle this situation is to just eat or drink something else without bringing it up, or go buy your own instead of leaving the host without something they like to have in their house.

Always ask before you eat or drink anything that you didn't bring yourself, or that you haven't paid for with your own money, and make sure the person you're asking is the one who bought it.

Never Ever make a negative comment about the host's choice of food, or anything the host has prepared or cooked. If you don't like it, keep your mouth shut and eat something else. You should be thankful someone is letting you eat their food at all. If you're being offered the food you don't like, just say no thank you and leave it at that. Nothing is more grotesque than someone entering a person's house, and passing judgment on the host's choice of food and meals that they took time out of their day to provide or cook.

Never eat food with your mouth open, or talk with food in your mouth. Its disgusting and rude. Animals eat with their mouths open, not adult house guests. You should also be aware of when the hosts is eating/chewing so as not to ask them a question right as they are about to eat food. This way conversation doesn't stop or pause creating an expectation for the person to eat faster, and instead they can enjoy their food and participate between bites.

If you spill something, get a napkin and wipe it up. If you don't know where the napkins are, ask the host as you get up to look for it. Don't ask while in a sitting position, ask as you are getting up because it could accidentally imply that the host should bring the napkin to you.

If you notice a spill, clean it up. It doesn't matter who spilled it, just be courteous and clean up the mess. This little move can prevent stains from becoming permanent, and anyone that lives there will appreciate your effort.

When you are done eating, always wash off your dirty dishes to remove debris, and clean them or put them in the dishwasher. It makes cleaning up after a party much easier, and the host will more than likely invite helpful considerate people back for more parties. Do not feed the pets with your table scraps unless cleared by the owner.

Conversation & Entertainment:

Never interrupt someone that is already speaking. Wait patiently for them to fully finish, and then you may speak. I don't care if you're about to forget your most brilliant story you've ever recanted! It is incredibly rude, and you really just shouldn't do it. By interrupting you're tellingthe person who is talking that their story is unimportant, and you're also telling the person you're interrupting that you don't respect them.

If you ask someone a question, pay attention to the answer, and offer a response to keep conversation going instead of staying silent. Staying silent or not commenting after the answer could make the speaker feel like they're talking for no reason. Don't ask a question just to get someone off topic, or keep them busy while you do something else.

Try to participate in activities with the group instead of going off in a room or sitting by yourself in a corner. You're not at a party or social gathering to go be by yourself, and doing so leaves the impression that you're not having fun, and want to leave. Often when you force yourself to make the first step to interact with people, you end up having a much better time after getting over your initial shyness.

At a reasonable time, excuse yourself. It's never a good idea to over stay your welcome. Be sure to contact the host if an emergency arises, and let them know if you need to leave early or stay later than previously agreed.

When you leave, make sure you remember to gather all your belongings. It is better for you to keep up with your stuff like an adult, than to hope that someone else remembers whose jacket is whose, and what hat belongs to which guest.

Always thank the host for inviting you over, and be sure to say goodbye to everyone that lives there when you leave. It would also be really helpful if you threw away trash you noticed laying out as you left so the host doesn't have as much to clean up the day after. There's nothing that will make you regret having a party more than house guest that totally trash your home.

Of course I don't mean to insult anyone's intelligence by creating this list, but sometimes there are just people out there that are completely oblivious when it comes to very manageable situations. I realize that not everyone expects this level of courtesy, and some people just don't mind things I mentioned, however, they are not the majority. Situations arise where even the most basic response is ignored because a guest doesn't know how to act, or what's appropriate so this list will hopefully serve as a guide. Even though it irritates me to think that I would actually have to inform someone of etiquette and manners that seem like basic behaviors, I feel the need to spell it all out for people who just don't seem to get it. This list was compiled to remind people how they can respect and thank a host through their actions, and not merely their words. Hopefully these very basic guidelines can remind people to be courteous, and try to show appreciation to the host by helping out as much as possible. Remember to always be kind, courteous, and respectful of other people and their property, and you will reap the benefits of being respected amongst your acquaintances.