Many baby boomers are now the proud parents of grandchildren. Grandparents are pulling double duty raising a grandchild or grandchildren. It's tiring, overwhelming and at times can be financially challenging. At the age of fifty-five my husband and I were awarded partial custody of our granddaughter while our daughter struggles to save money for a house. It's a goal she has set for herself and her daughter. To achieve her goal she needed our help.
As a single parent her financial obstacles are many and often incurred physical and time consuming hardships. Mandatory overtime often increased her need for extended childcare. The additional cost quickly depleted her savings. At this point my husband and I offered to share custody and take care of our granddaughter until she was solvent. Through our personal trial and error here are five of our most helpful tips on how to survive third generation child rearing.
Grandchildren vs. Children: Grandchildren are not your children therefore do not try to raise them as you have raised your own children. Technology has influenced a new generation so grounding a grandchild with the threat of no television won't work if they have a high speed computer in their bedroom. Remind them as their grandparent it's important to follow the rules their parents have set and that these same rule are expected to apply to them while living with you. Whether it's no Nintendo, limited cell phone usage or Facebook social activities let them know you are aware their parents rules and intend to enforce them in their parents' absence.
Personal Health: Children can be extremely energetic. They need much more attention than [at times] a grandparent can give. Caring for younger children can cause grandparents undue stress and physical exertion. It's vital to get extra rest, and when possible take short naps to recharge those drained batteries. It's also wise to contact your primary physician to see if you are able to handle the riggers of taking care of a younger children. If you already have high blood pressure, heart problems, etc. make an appointment to have a complete physical before taking on child care responsibility. Your best intensions could cause irreversible health problems.
Nutrition and Exercise: Personal nutrition is extremely important for grandparents raising grandchildren. A well balanced diet will keep you fit and provide the extra energy you need to handle the exhausting activities younger grandchildren demand. It's okay to go out for an occasional fast-food meal however it's important to maintain and keep a dinner routine. Having dinner together supports healthy eating habits and meal planning. Ask your physician if additional vitamin supplements are necessary. Keep in mind exercise is just as important for you as it is for them. If you're tired it's easy to let them veg-out in front of their computers or gaming units. Involve them in your exercise routine. Take them swimming, hiking or on the green for a 3-hole round of golf.
Private Time: It's easy to get into a rut when younger children are in the house. Homework at 6pm, dinner at 7pm, bedtimes, schedules are important and so is your private adult time. Make sure you and your spouse set aside time to enjoy each other. Take a morning walk, go to an afternoon matinee while they are at school or have brunch at your favorite restaurant. Keep the romance alive!
Source(s):
Personal Grandparenting Experience
Published by Deb Martin-Webster
Originally from Pennsylvania, author/artist Deb Martin-Webster and her British husband Pete, currently live on a small farm near the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina. They enjoy the simplicity of their... View profile
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16 Comments
Post a CommentA much needed article for today's generation. Valuable advice!
It is almost the norm in Asia now, but I get a feeling the children of grandparents hardly appreciate the sacrifices made with greater efforts the second time around acting as a parent! They need to appreciate that their parents are bending over backwards to be of help! A thoughtful article, Deb - siva
Thank you Abby Effi and denepher for your read and supportive comments!
My grandma raised 5 of us for years- I have no idea how she did it and managed to work full-time at once
Great article--very helpful, I think. This touches more families than we know.
Good luck with a great job Debbie. Being of similar age, I know about those "fighting the eyelids" moments.
Becca, Marcia, and James - Thank you for your read. Being a grandparent raising a grandchild it a challenge but one I'm happy to do.
Valuable insight. The shifting role grandparents have held in society over the past several thousand years is a fascinating study in cultural development.
Second time around is really special! Proud of you Deb!
Excellent tips, Deb, great article:)