Helpful Tips for Planning Your Own Wedding

Now that Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's Day have past, there are more than likely tons of newly engaged couples out there thinking, "Ok, now what?" Since most of us are not wealthy enough to have a wedding planner do all the thinking, finding, pricing and stressing out for us, the task falls squarely on our shoulders. And let's face it, most grooms-to-be just want to be told what to wear and when to show up on the big day, so girls, it's up to you!! I wanted to pass along some of the more helpful tips that I incorporated into planning my Big Day, but I must warn you, if you are not interested in saving money, stop reading now. I also need to preface this advice with the fact that the wedding I was planning was only for about 75 guests, and was done in about 6 months time. Terry and I got engaged in November, 2001 and were married the following May. In a way, six months was not enough time, but then again, it forces you to get things done, and does not allow you time to spend all of your nest egg in the process. This is how it worked for us, and if you are trying for the 7.7.07 wedding date, it just might help you, too.

Okay, so after all the screaming and silly fits of giggles that come with telling everyone you are engaged, the real work begins. Believe it or not, planning your own wedding does not have to be stressful. Probably the most important thing I did to keep my sanity was visit the bookstore at the mall. There my mother and I poured over the wedding planner section until we came up with a winner. My particular planner of choice was the Your Bridal Superstore's Ultimate Wedding Planner-Pocket Version. This wonderful little notebook/organizer had everything!! There were tabbed sections including photos on everything from the dress to flowers, pages to make notes, budgeting guidelines and business card holders in the front so all of our service providers' information was readily available. There were even suggested timelines, checklists, tips on etiquette, wedding traditions that you might want to include in your ceremony, and lists of things to bring to the ceremony...nothing was left out! At the very back of the planner, there was even a blank calendar that you could actually pencil all of your goals and activities into so that you always had the information on you. If you take nothing else away from this article, get one of these planners!! Our wedding was almost 5 years ago, so this particular planner may not be available, however I did check on Amazon.com and there seem to be several good ones to choose from, although I would personally go to a bookstore so that you can see for yourself the features and size of what you are buying. This book will be attached to you in some form until your wedding day, so you don't want something the size of a coffee table arriving in the mail.

After a date was set and the planner was purchased, I went hunting for invitations. Now, you could go to a calligrapher or a specialty store and spend a lot of money on fancy invitations. I chose to look online and found really nice ones for around $100. There were more expensive options and certainly less expensive options, but the most important thing is that there WERE options. The invitations were not a particularly important part of the big picture for me, so I went with a simple design. The most important part was getting them in the mail, not necessarily how fancy they were.

The next step in the planning was finding a wedding dress. I have never been one that has to have the latest, most expensive clothing, so I could not justify spending a small fortune on a dress that I was only going to wear one time. I did, however, want to be a princess for a day. I found a place that was able to provide a beautiful wedding dress selection for reasonable prices. That place was David's Bridal. This is a nation-wide chain that offers a wide variety of styles, sizes and prices. You have to have an appointment as a consultant will assist you in finding and trying on all of the gowns, so be sure you call ahead. I had a very helpful lady named Delphie assist me in finding my perfect gown and accessories-all for around $700. David's Bridal also offers bridesmaids dresses, flower girl dresses and dresses for the mother of the bride. It can be a really fun girl's day out by getting all of the women in your wedding party together and going to find your dresses. I'm not even a "girly girl" and I had a blast with my mom, my future mother-in-law, my sister, and one of my best friends. The best part is, since David's is national, even those members of your wedding party that do not live near you can go to a store near them and try on dresses to make sure that they get a proper fit. David's will even ship the dresses to you!

As for the men's attire, David's Bridal offers that also, but since this was the one major responsibility that I delegated to my future husband, he did not go there. Instead he found some nice Hilfiger tuxes at a rental place in the local mall. The rentals ran about $50 per guy (which, when you think about it, is SO unfair given the amount that girls have to spend on their dresses) and again, if you use a national chain, even far away members can be assured that they will get the same tux as the rest of the party. Places like Mitchell's Formals or After Hours specialize in weddings and have all the accessories to coordinate your guys.

My fiancé and I had a special problem as far as the location of the ceremony. Neither of us is particularly religious and was not a member of any church. Therefore, we had neither a location nor an officiant to perform the ceremony. This is where I wish I had more access to things like Google, as now you can just look it up online. I scoured the yellow pages and called local government to inquire about a Justice of the Peace. Thankfully, my future mother-in-law came to the rescue and found a nice Lutheran pastor (my fiancé was raised Lutheran) to do the ceremony for us. Nowadays you can even have a friend or family member get ordained so that they can perform the ceremony for you. This is the perfect solution for those that want to craft the ceremony in a very personal way, and it could even be that person's wedding gift to the couple, which eliminates another cost!

I also recommend, as another cost-cutting method, to have the reception at the same place as the ceremony...that way you only have to pay one rental fee. Great places for this are hotels, lodges, or in our case, the clubhouse to the gated community where my future in-laws lived. This particular clubhouse offered the main room as the site for the ceremony, the catering, the bar, a deck overlooking a lake for pictures, even the piano. Talk about your one-stop shopping!! The best part was that one person handled all of these aspects of the wedding, instead of keeping three or four people on schedule. To decorate, my mother and I went to a massive outlet-type store and bought all of the candles and bowls for centerpieces, all of the silk flowers for the bouquets and various other touches to decorate the hall.

The hall did not offer a DJ, so again I consulted the yellow pages (isn't it funny how far the internet has come even in the last five years??) and met with a few before deciding on one. I recommend meeting ahead of time and making sure the DJ knows what songs you want played (and just as important-any that you don't), the order of events so that he can help move things along at the reception, and just an overall gut-check of your feeling for the person. Plus, most DJs require a contract which will also have to be done ahead of time.

The clubhouse did not include a wedding cake in the cost of the reception either, so I also visited a few local bakeries. This was one of the best parts of the entire planning phase as the bakeries let you taste all the different cake and icing options that you are considering. I recommend this step BEFORE the final fitting of your wedding dress. But seriously, it is also wise to select a cake after you get the majority of your RSVPs back as the price of the cake is largely determined by how many people it has to serve. You can also go over how you want it decorated, take the baker your cake topper, and view his or her portfolio. Yes, most bakers have pictures of previous jobs so ask to see his work! You may even see something that you like that you hadn't thought of for your own cake.

The one thing that I did not skimp on for our wedding was the photographer. I met with a few, but ultimately ended up using the photographer that had done my sister's senior pictures. I had seen his work and I knew I liked it. Package prices vary, but ours was about $1000. Make sure you ask who will be the actual photographer and see his or her portfolio and find out what the cost includes. The base price will usually include X number of hours, a proof album and some sort of finished album and/or portraits. Make sure you ask about any extra fees such as an hourly fee should you go over your time limit, film, the distance the photographer is willing to travel, etc. There can be many hidden costs, so be sure to ask a lot of questions!

These are the most important aspects of planning your big day. Hopefully my little adventure can help you somewhere along the line. Just remember, when your wedding day does arrive, keep calm. Even if something does go wrong, more than likely you are the only one that is even going to notice...and at the end of the day, none of that will matter because you will be married. Sit back, breathe and take it all in because it will be over before you know it.