Helping Your Child Cope with Puberty

I'm sure you thought you had it rough when your new baby was born-constant crying, lack of sleep, no personal life, 24 hour attention, nerves on end-well, if you don't know anything yet until your child reaches teenage years and the beginnings of puberty. For me, this was a more trying time than anything because at this point, your child has a mind of their own and complex feelings. With my daughter now at 16, I think I'm through the bulk of it. She has been acclimated to the changes for several years now and coming out of it just splendidly and much to my relief. As a parent, there are a multitude of health concerns that your pubescent child will need to know about and understand. Some of this is taught in public schools, but you should assume nothing and take it upon yourself to help your child through the changes their body is going through and the emotional problems that accompany those changes. Here are a few tips to help you out during this time, many of them presented by the Palo Alto Medical Foundation and many from my personal experience.

1. Promote a healthy lifestyle in your home. Your children learn first and foremost through example. Develop and follow regular sleep patterns and eating schedules. Eat healthy food and encourage your child to stay away from junk food as much as possible, not only for overall health, but for healthy skin during this time as well.

2. Talk about how important it is to have good personal hygiene. During puberty, the sweat glands develop and become more active. This is also a time when peers will point out any bad hygiene and this will cause emotional problems as well.

3. Embarrassment and self esteem issues are common at this time. Your child will be embarrassed about the changes their bodies are going through, especially if they develop early or late in comparison with their friends or their peers in general. They need reassurance at this time that everything is alright, everyone develops at their own pace, and it's all completely normal.

4. Teasing or joking about your child's changes during this time should be light, mild and followed up with a serious statement or show of affection. This is your call. Many will say to never joke nor tease, but there are levels of everything and humor can often be used to lighten trying situations. Tell embarrassing stories about yourself to show that they are not alone and you went through the same situations if not worse.

5. Help your child identify problems on their own. Show them the signs they make that give away their mood or reveal that they have something on their mind. Once they can recognize that they have a temporary problem, they can take the appropriate steps to correct it.

6. Teach your child skills to cope with problems and stress. Show them how to take a break, breathe, and count back from 10. Go for walks or listen to music. Everything will be much better within the next 20 minutes.

7. Make sure your child has a safe and wholesome hobby. They will need something to keep their minds focused in their downtime. They will want to spend increasing amounts of time alone, so they will need something to keep them busy at this time.

8. Don't always rush to your child's help. It will be your first instinct, but give them a little time to be alone. After 5 minutes, check on them and make sure that they know you are available should they need to talk about anything.

9. Set limits. Your child will want to be more and more independent and you must allow this to certain degrees. Make sure your rules are fair and balanced and they have the best interests of your child in mind and that they are not set up for yourself personally to alleviate your worrying.

10. Talk with other parents about their experiences and their techniques. Learn from networking, your friends, and your neighbors.

These tips will help you in the most difficult time of child raising. The best way to be prepared is by feeding your mind with the knowledge of those before you.