Helping Your Child Deal with Physical Pain

Helping children deal with pain is an important step in their development. The critical factor here will be your own attitude and response toward pain. There are two important facts to consider in teaching your child about pain. First, pain is inevitable as long as we are alive. Second, pain serves as an essential, life saving purpose: it warns us of possible life threatening danger. Without pain as our warning system, we would not be able to react quickly enough to burns, cuts, punctures and other potentially serious injuries or dangerous situations. Children do not have to be taught how to react to pain. But they can learn to deal with pain that is anticipated, such as the pain of a hypodermic needle. If children anticipate the pain of an upcoming medical or dental procedure, and dwell on it, they will actually experience more discomfort than is necessary. By learning how to district themselves with pleasant thoughts and deep breathing, they can measurably reduce the intensity and duration of the pain. This, of course, is easier said than done. Teaching children to distract themselves from anticipated pain may not be easy. As with most important parenting lessons, the example you set is most important. By talking to your children about pain as a wise and valuable friend, you will help them develop a more positive and less fearful attitude toward it. If you share your own experience with deep breathing and pleasant thoughts for distracting yourself, you will find your child is eager to imitate your methods.

A common mistake parents make is minimizing the pain. Also, too often they lie to their children about pain by saying, "It won't hurt." This is very confusing for children because it does hurt! Now the child has to cope not only with pain but also with being lied to by the parent. Pain doesn't kill anyone, per-say. It is one of the many facts of life to be accepted. Denying the reality of pain is not useful in the long run. Helping your child to deal with unavoidable pain without becoming unduly anxious is a good idea. All of us have to face a certain amount of pain in life. Your enlightened attitude about pain and your caring counsel will help your child adjust to the necessary pain of life. This includes both emotional and physical types of pain. In the end, your assistance will help your child through painful situations that we will all face.