Helping Your Child to Understand the Consequences of Their Actions

Children grow up not knowing the consequences of their actions and this is why it is important for us to teach it to them. Every child is different just like every bad behavior should have a different consequence and every good behavior should have a consequence also.

When a child first learns to hold their bottle they will often drop it in the floor just so that you can pick it up time and time again. While playing bottle pickup your child is learning that if he drops the bottle mommy will pick it up and this is one of the first consequences of actions that children learn.

Moving on to the later years children may begin to throw a tantrum in the middle of the store or act out in another public place. A child that is old enough to act out is also old enough to learn the consequences of their actions. Even a small child can learn that the consequence of throwing a tantrum in a store means that they will be removed from the store.

Teaching a child that there are consequences can begin by using these tips that are listed below. You don't have to take the advice from me; after all, I am only a mother of six but it is good stuff to learn and live by.

Setting the rules

I am sure that by now you have probably heard that rules are made to be broken but in reality rules are set to guide us and keep us from harm. Setting rules shouldn't make you feel bad. Every child needs some boundaries and limits to help them through life. Boundaries are limitations that they are not allowed to cross. For instance; if a child goes out with some friends and you don't have any boundaries or set rules then you are setting yourself up for trouble and this applies to everything that you and your children do in your daily lives.

Don't fret to hard about small rules that are broken but a child should still know that there are consequences even for breaking small rules. If a small rule is broken then a lesser disciplinary action should be given and if a bigger rule is broken then the consequences should be bigger.

How to set rules

I once told my daughter that she could not eat in her room and that there would be consequences if she did so she decided that the living room was alright to eat in. When I told her that she couldn't eat in her room I was actually meaning to say that she had to eat at the table. Make sure that your rules are clear so that you don't make the same mistakes as I did. If you don't want your child to eat anywhere but at the table then say just that instead of saying that she can't eat in her room.

Explaining the consequences

I am a true believer that the television is a privilege that must be earned and not given. If a child completes their chores and does their homework, they can watch the television for an hour.

Consequences should be set for everything that a child does that goes against the rules. There has been a great debate in parenting over whether or not you should explain to your child the consequences before or after the rule has been broken.

What I usually do is I give them a few things that will be the consequences of their actions and if they misbehave then they have to deal with one of those consequences for their actions. If they did something small then they might get something taken away such as the television privilege or a favorite toy, if something big was done then the punishment might be for them to do without something for an even greater time like a week.

Nothing is set in stone

One of the great things about being a parent is that you get to have some control over how your child grows up. Having control over your child means that you get to set the boundaries for them and decides what disciplinary actions or consequences that they will have to face when they go outside those boundaries. When I say that nothing is set in stone, I mean that even though rules are not meant to be broken they can be modified at any given point.

Modifying rules

When we set rules for our children we often find that as they grow these rules will need to be changed with their age. Changing the rules isn't that hard and it may be something that they need to get use to but in time they will and then there will be consequences for breaking those rules.

When is the best time to modify a rule?

The best time to modify a rule is when that particular rule no longer works for your family. I don't use the term for you or for them in this particular passage since you are a family and the rules should be applied to the family and not just to an individual person. Some rules in your family will need to be changed to be more strict and others to be more lenient.

Consequences can bee good too

Don't just show your child that there are consequences for bad actions. Good actions deserve good consequences. If your child does something good then reward them with praise so that they will want to continue to do well.

Knowing all that you know now about setting rules, meeting in the middle of those rules, modifying rules, and the consequences of the rules you should be able to set up boundaries for your child and teach them that there are consequences for actions both good and bad.