Helping Your Children Make Sense of War

In the advancing era of terrorism, parents are struggling with the daily challenge in reassuring their children and calming fears. For many parents, the inquiries of their children are often difficult to answer, leaving children even more terrified.

As parents, we strive to protect our children from the media focus on terrorism but, even when out in public and at school, are children are regularly exposed to the risks. For this reason, it is important that parents are well educated in the best ways to respond to their children when the questions arise about their own personal safety.

One of the key focuses of children today tends to be the impact of the War in Iraq, why the United States is involved, what will happen if we do not "win" the Iraq War and children even question the definition of terms such as "friendly fire" and what life is like as a soldier fighting in the war.

In an effort to respond to the inquiries of your children, there are some very basic and general responses that can be given. First, explain to your child that, while we teach them to resolve arguments and disagreements through open discussion, there are times when war is necessary when countries are unable to resolve their differences diplomatically.

While children often struggle to understand the contradictory nature of resolving a disagreement by physical force, they will often struggle with the terms they commonly hear through the media. Offering some explanation to your child will help to appease fears but it is important to tread carefully on these facts and explanations. One area children are commonly showing interest is in the term of "friendly fire". While there is really no easy or optimistic approach to the explanation of "friendly fire", children should learn that this term simply means an accident occurred that was not intended.

Another area of concern for children, and often creates great concerns over security, is the question of the events that may occur should we not "win" the war. Using historical accounts of wars that were won, such as World War II and the Persian Gulf War, will provide your child with a focus on what the outcome is we hope to achieve, rather than focusing on what will happen if we do not "win".

As with any child growth and development issue, children born and raised in this era are becoming increasingly concerned over their own well being, especially when faced with the issues of the War in Iraq on a daily basis. Maintaining open, but limited, communication with our children will work to calm their fears and give them an outlet in which to express their emotions during this highly stressful foreign issues period in the United States.