Helping Children Understand Gender Roles and Avoid Gender Bias

Gender inequities and gender biases, both blatant and subtle, are causing girls and boys to be raised in separate societies, with separate expectations, and widely diverging treatment based on gender. This is not preparing them for their future together or enabling them to fulfill their own potential. Parents, educators, and other adults can help reverse this trend by helping children to learn a variety of interests and skills, improving children's social environment, and giving children an awareness of inequities and teaching skills to cope with those inequities.

To help children understand gender roles and avoid gender bias, it is important to first understand how children learn gender roles. Children learn gender through socialization. The designation of pink for infant girls and blue for infant boys begins the social process which teaches girls to be passive, dependent, and submissive and boys to be active, independent and dominant (Szirom, 1988). Through the ways they are held, spoken, to, played with, and dressed, infants learn societal expectations for gender-appropriate behavior (Szirom, 1988). Most developmental psychologists agree that most children can answer the question, "Are you a boy or a girl?" by the age of three and by age five they see gender as a fixed and permanent characteristic of the social world (Newman, 1995). Children learn gender roles and gender stereotypes from their parents their toys, television, children's literature, and especially schools and teachers.

Parents tend to distribute household tasks along gender lines, pushing boys to do yard work, shovel snow, and take out the garbage and instructing girls to clean house, wash dishes, cook, and babysit (Newman, 1995). Parents, as well as other family and friends, often give children toys that teach and reinforce gender roles. Boys' toys encourage invention, exploration, competition, and aggression (Newman, 1995), activity, mobility, problem solving, competition, and following strict rules (Benokraitis, 2002), while girls' toys encourage creativity, nurturance, and physical attractiveness (Newman, 1995), passivity, domestic skills, imaginative play, and emotional expressiveness (Benokraitis, 2002). By age five, most children anticipate disapproval from their peers for playing with toys that deviate from their gender stereotype, so they forego those opposite-sexed toys, reinforcing and strengthening the gender bias (Benokraitis, 2002).

Television and books also help to mold children's views of gender role expectations. Most children's television shows portray males and females in stereotypical gender roles (Newman, 1995) and television commercials aimed at audiences of children bolster gender role stereotypes by portraying boys with cars and guns and girls with dolls and anything pink. In addition, male characters in the top children's television shows outnumber female characters four to one (Benokraitis, 2002). Male characters are more likely to be shown in positions of power and dominate the activities depicted (Newman, 1995). Studies have shown that the more television children watch, the more likely they will be to hold stereotypical attitudes toward gender, exhibit gender-related characteristics, and engage in gender-related activities (Newman, 1995). Children's books are full of gender stereotypes. Male characters are most often portrayed in adventurous pursuits and activities requiring independence and strength, while female characters are seen in indoor activities and portrayed as passive and dependent (Newman, 1995). In addition, male characters play more significant roles and significantly outnumber female characters (Newman, 1995).

Unfortunately, gender in schools accounts for more segregation than race (Newman, 1995) and schools are one of the most powerful social forces for teaching gender roles to children and promoting gender bias on a societal level. Schools increase learned helplessness in girls, because teachers are more likely to give information or answers to girls, while encouraging a boy to work toward the solution on his own (Benokraitis, 2002). In addition, boys are given more time to talk in class, are called on more often, are given more positive feedback, and experience higher expectations (Benokraitis, 2002). These higher expectations results in increased problem-solving skills, decision-making skills, and self-confidence in boys (Benokraitis, 2002) and further widens the gender gap. This gap widens more with each passing year in the school system (Newman, 1995). "[T]he school is not a force for social change...but rather is an effective means of perpetuating the existing social order in that it provides a justification for social inequalities" (Szirom, 1998, p. 56).

To help children understand gender roles, it is useful to point out that the English language requires we determine a person's gender in order to know which pronouns to use. Since it is considered rude to refer to people as "it", people use agreed-upon male and female dress codes to determine gender (Crawford, 1996). To soften the blow of society's gender stereotyping for young children, it is helpful to use phrases like "In our culture, we..." "Today it is the custom to..." "Years ago people thought...but now we think...." These words help to convey that these are the conventions of a particular time and/or place. Knowing that in other places and times men and women held roles that are now deemed socially inappropriate shows children that gender roles are not fixed and that holding interests that conflict with the norm does not jeopardize their sex in any way.

According to Crawford, gender inequities affect most children (1996). Gender stereotypes and bias hurt boys who love to read, dislike hunting and fishing, or dislike sports or mechanics. Gender stereotypes and biases hurt girls who struggle with body image, wish to excel in sports, or rarely see positive role models in media or literature. Gender equality benefits both boys and girls; working toward gender equality will enable boys and girls to be themselves, instead of being bound by rigid gender roles.

It is important to help boys avoid narrow and negative gender roles. First, let boys cry. Let them express emotions fully. Boys are often cheated of their own emotions by well-meaning parents afraid of raising a sissy, but "the crime rate, frequency of domestic violence, and sexual harassment data confirm that we do not have a problem with oversensitive males in this country. If anything, we have the opposite" (Crawford, 1996, p. 23). To foster nurturance in boys, expose them to male nurturers and give them baby dolls of their own to nurture. Next, allow and encourage young boys to dance, and teach them of the important history of men in dance and ballet. Dancing allows them to express emotion in a healthy physical manner, to synchronize their movements to music, to get exercise, and to have fun. Lastly, help boys find exciting and colorful clothes to wear; boys should be allowed more self-expression in the way they dress (Crawford, 1996).

Adults can help girls avoid passive and stereotypical gender roles in many ways. First, expose them to women in business. Seek out a female plumber when picking one at random from the yellow pages, take your children to a female dentist, attend a church with a female preacher. These positive role models will help girls to envision themselves in professions outside of the normal stereotypes. Second, give them opportunities to be in all-girl groups like Girls Scouts or other clubs. Girls play just as independently as boys when in all-girl groups (Tavris1992). Make sure girls they learn first aid, safety, and survival skills, so that can have the freedom to go wherever boys are allowed to go. Also, support their sporting events with equal attendance and funding to show that their athletic abilities are just as important as boys'. Help girls to avoid learned helplessness. Girls learn that if they quit or say that they aren't able to do something, an adult might come along and do it for them. Instead, urge girls to find answers on their own; show confidence in their abilities so that they will develop self-confidence. Finally, Crawford urges parents to "attribute a girl's success to her abilities, not to luck, circumstances hard work, or effort" (1996, p. 91). (Sometimes a little correspondence bias can go a long way.)

There are many strategies that parents and other adults can implement for both boys and girls to help them avoid gender stereotypes and gender bias. First, Crawford recommends avoiding commercial television (1996). Commercial television characters are generally limited, and the plots are stereotypic. By eliminating television reception in the home and previewing children's videos, or (if television reception cannot be eliminated) critically analyzing commercials and commercial television, parents can reduce children's exposure to negative gender stereotypes. It is also important to avoid gender-biased literature and ensure that the home library of children's books has a balance of male and female protagonists and portrays strong female characters as in Lansky's Girls to the Rescue series, Munsch's The Paper Bag Princess, and Cole's Princess Smartypants. It is important that parents and other adults avoid buying girls' toys and boys' toys unless specifically asked for them (Crawford, 1996), instead purchasing science and astronomy kits, nature kits, books, art and music supplies, magic sets, games, cards, puzzles, computer games, or history sets. There are many educational and fun toys and games that do not perpetuate the old role models. Lastly, parents and other caring adults need to "insist that elimination of gender bias become a priority issue in schools, children's most influential public experience" (Crawford, 1996, p. 152). Since the schools are such a powerful vehicle of the promotion and growth of gender bias, homeschooling can be a very valid option and a strong tool for gender equality.

Benokraitis states, "Early exposure to gender-neutral information is critical in removing gender blinders" (2002, p. 85). Unfortunately, our society has a cultural distaste for ambiguity when it comes to gender. While it is inevitable that children learn gender roles, parents and other adults can also equip them with the skills to understand those roles, to break out of stereotypes, and to avoid gender bias, thus providing children with the freedom to grow up and be who they truly are on the inside, regardless of gender.

References

Benokraitis, N.V. (2002). Marriages and families: Changes, choices, and constraints. Upper

Saddle River: Pearson Education, Inc.

Crawford, S.H. (1996). Beyond dolls & guns: 101 ways to help children avoid gender bias.

Portsmouth: Reed Elsevier Inc.

Newman, D.M. (1995). Sociology: Exploring the architecture of everyday life. Thousand

Oaks: Pine Forge Press.

Szirom, T. (1988). Teaching gender? Winchester: Allen & Unwin Inc.

Tavris, C. (1992). Mismeasure of woman: Why women are not the better sex, the inferior

sex, or the opposite sex. New York: Rockafeller Center.