Helping Domestic Violence and Child Abuse Victims in Florida
Today: The Experiences of Hundreds, Thousands, Quite Possibly Millions of Domestic Violence and Child Abuse Victims in Florida
Today.
I told them of the abuse and threats, like you said to do,
Today.
No charges filed and no case was officially written up,
Like you said they would,
Today.
Unless I have larger visible bruises or broken bones,
unless my child has visible evidence of being molested,
Or unless my child or I end up dead per his threats...
Nothing, nothing, nothing, until then
They said shall be done for us
TODAY.
(Abuse Victims Experiences in Florida 2004 to 2009)
What is the proper response to victims of domestic violence?
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few." Jesus in Matthew 9:36-37
~Have compassion and DO SOMETHING ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
Change laws, create shelters, and fund programs to help victims. Shelters and domestic violence support groups don't stop abuse but they do create a space to prevent some domestic violence deaths. According to statistics, domestic violence abusers usually commit child abuse and are far more likely to commit child sexual abuse-if given the opportunity like alone time through court ordered visitations-so stop supporting legislation that gives domestic violence offenders opportunities to abuse and influence their young children. Create new laws and legislation in your areas before your daughter or grandchild has to be beaten, threatened, injured, or killed to get your attention. Prevention is the best medicine.
~If you don't think you or your family will ever be affected by domestic violence or abusers, you are wrong: If you pay taxes or drive in traffic, then you have influence on the situation and could be victimized yourself. Domestic violence offenders also tend to experience road rage; however, when they "act out" they are not just cursing at you and flicking the bird, they are tail-gaiting you, bumping you, trying to drive you off the road, kicking your car side in, beating you up or shooting you dead at the next traffic stop. [Sadly EACH and EVERY one of these examples are from real cases with real people involved]. Don't turn a blind eye.
~Start Now to Help Prevent DV - Request a National Serial Domestic Violence Offender Registry for the US Be Created:
Send a brief note to the White House to request one-this would prevent domestic violence offenders from jumping county to county and state to state to create new victims and families. This would save tax payers money, prevention is less expensive. Take me to the White House Contact Form,click here.
Does someone who commits domestic violence and child abuse "love" their victims?
He who says: 'I love God, but hate my brother,' is a liar; for if one does not low one's brother whom one sees, how can one love God Whom one does not see?" 1 John 4:20
Abuse Is Not Love
~Society would see more clearly if they quit accepting and/or giving abusers the excuse "yes, you love her but..." Abuse is not love. Period. Losing self control is not love. Period. How can one abuse, terrorize, torture, or threaten the one they love? You cannot, if you loved them, you would not act that way. Love is an action-in the positive direction-these people, abusers and defenders of the "good intentions of abusers," are greatly misinformed on what love is and justice would be.
Abuse Is Not Loving Behavior - Abuse Is Selfish Behavior That Can Kill or Injure Other People
~Realize abusers do not love. Abusers tend to believe that they are usually "loving people who act out in anger or when provoked." Uneducated loved ones, some therapists, some clergy, and society tend to support this belief; hence, abusers aren't even motivated to change. Why not? They believe if the wife just submitted or did not express her opinions or displeasure or if the children just obeyed, they would not be abusers. Abusers blame the environment for their triggers, they do not accept full responsibility for the fact that they can and do choose their response as they snap from irritation to punching or biting. Then abusers move from victim to victim leaving a wake of victimized women and children behind. Abusers are people who have the control of a two year old when angry in a man's body-a very dangerous and deadly combination.
Published by Heather Inks
Heather is a social entrepreneur who educates on how to improve communities & the world. Heather's site has crafts, home improvement ideas, & social issues: www.HeatherInks.com She's an active writer, teache... View profile
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- Who is Heather Inks? www.heatherinks.com
19 Comments
Post a CommentWhen are facing something very tough here. After leaving our abuser and getting charges brought on him plus protection orders his lawyer filed a motion to dismiss based on some new laws in place about two months ago. What about the last year and a half that we have been waiting for justice and praying for safety? He is suing for custody rights!! My oldest son is so afraid. Last time he saw his father he was told if he tells anyone and dad goes to jail he will kill him when he gets out. And now it looks like they may dismiss the case. I also want to add if it is dismissed it is not based on evidence because there is a ton of dcf reports and also a wittess to the abuser burning the children with hot food and beating one until he blacked out! The State has said they feel they can win however so crazy change is a law can take away the only shot we have a Justice?? FYI I don't even know what the new reading states :(
Thank you for this entire website! I'm very upset tonight. My friend is a beautiful young woman who got pregnant by a man and moved him to Cali to be with her. She mentioned a few strange episodes with him but was evasive and I didn't push it. He started verbally hurting her, spitting in her face, dragging her across the floor and turning her into someone else. She used to be proud. When I saw her, she was different. Fearful. Unsure. And sad. So so sad. Anyways, things escalated, he went to jail, came out and promised to never do it again. After the baby boy came, he did. He beat her so badly and chased her and terrorized her with her newborn in her arms. He went to jail in FL and after a few months he made a plea deal to two battery counts, they dropped the felony. But what haunts me most is we recently discovered his MOTHER is behind him 100 percent. While we knew she was an enabler, we didn't know she was evil. That's a harsh word but she is the instigator. She trash
This isn't just in Florida. I live in Nevada. My ex was investigated for sexual molestation of our 14 year old daughter and still got custody of our 4 children. I was a stay at home mother until our last year of marriage and can't even hold onto a job because of the severe depression this has caused, and I owe him child support. He is using that to continue harassing me and calling me a deadbeat. He and his wife say things to my kids like your mom must not really love you because...
Heather, I truly hope that this article gets in the right hands, so many people need this info!! You are an angel!
Heather, I am commenting on your 2/2/10 posting. I think you are the voice and face for those who are either too afraid to speak out to their tormentor or simply cannot find the right words. Through your poetry it can change social awareness and get people to move. A national registry provides a record, data-collection, history, and nation-wide or state-wide data collection that tracks the activities and behaviors of the abusers. Great job!
There are thousands, maybe millions, who have experienced domestic violence, child abuse, or rape in Florida and have experienced the same thing. Something needs to be done and hopefully my poetry based on real cases will shed some light and create a group of people willing to request a National Serial Domestic Violence Registry like some other nations have to at least help protect and prevent some cases. 1 life saved is 1 life saved. Thank you for sharing your honest experience in Florida. God bless.
I live in Florida and am a survivor of domestic violence. When I called the police, all they did was make me a victim all over again. They are as verbally abusive as the monsters they are supposed to protect us from.
In Florida, the victim of abuse can lose her custody rights if she flees across the state lines to find shelter from the abuse. I have heard other states don't have similar limiting laws like this. In Florida, they have repeatedly given primary custody to serial domestic violence offenders, drug abusers, drug sellers, and neglectful parents whose child has gotten concussions in their care while requiring the non-abusive parent to pay child support to the abusive parent. Mothers with primary custody who pay for an in-home nanny have had the custody arrangements changed by judges when the deadbeat father gets a live-in drug using girlfriend to watch the child so "he" has 80 and gets more child support and the responsible mother 20. What is happening there, especially Volusia County, is sad. God bless.
Thanks, Heather, for helping to raise awareness about this. I had no idea Florida laws were so differnt from other states laws!This is a heart-breaking issue - for sure!
Great point, love doesn't hurt. If someone is planning to leave, they need to check the laws in their state and move if the laws don't take domestic violence, child abuse, drug abuse, threats, or mental illness as consideration to revoke joint visitation. Unless Florida changed in 2010, doubtful it did with the economic woes, then child custody is still given to abusers without serious enough consideration of the above elements. Plan it carefully, sadly this ladies 3 BABIES were killed: http://wjz.com/local/amy.castillo.children.2.691594.html God bless.