Helping Elderly Parents Make Their Last Move

If you moved a lot as a child, your parents honed the skill to a fine point. Even if you only made that transition once or twice, they guided you through the process. But now they're about to move house for the last time...and the logistics might overwhelm them. Despite everything we've heard about sun-filled retirement villas in Florida, the last move is often not voluntary.

What can you do to make the reality less painful, more of a positive experience? There are some experts who can help you, and their advice follows.

Advice From an Expert

Sue Ronnenkemp is the author of Living Transitions: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Later Life Move. She emphasizes that one of the most important steps in helping parents move is in clearing out the accumulation of years. Allow plenty of time for this, even over a period of months, because the blow will be less and the work can be made into a family project. Begin in the areas of the house not currently being used much, like attics, basements, guest bedrooms. First clear out what actually isn't wanted or needed. Tell your parents there are items you or your siblings would love to have, particularly if they aren't worth a great deal. Then they'll know that things they love will have a good home.

In addition to her book, Ronnenkamp offers a series of free articles, one a month, about the moving process. Her website is: www.livingtransitions.com.

Better Homes and Gardens offers a 'Survival Kit' which you should compile for your parents, to keep for the actual move. This kit could be valuable for several days prior to and after the move. It includes:

Scissors and a utility knife

coffee cups, instant coffee, tea and soft drinks (sugar and artificial creamer if appropriate)

snacks

paper plates, plastic cutlery

paper towels and toilet paper

bar soap and dish soap

pencils and paper, the local telephone directory

masking and duct tape; packaging tape if necessary

bath and hand towels

trash bags

toiletries

flashlights

aspirin and substitutes (as well as all necessary medications, of course)

For moving day, prepare an easily transported pot of soup, chili or a casserole.

The actual moving process is grueling at best, and the choice of movers can make a huge difference. Hiring your own truck? U Haul rents their smallest truck for !9.95 for a 24-hour period, but the cost of mileage is so high, a one-day can run to $75. for a short move from one city to the next. It isn't a cost-effective choice for long moves -- even for short ones, be sure to get all the costs up-front. Hiring a mover has become complicated as well. The larger movers don't have the reputation they used to. Allied is considered one of the best -- in California they charge $85.00/hour, and most of the others charge $80. But they don't do smaller moves themselves -- they contract the job to an independent mover. When Diana Hilton sold her three-bedroom house and moved into a two-bedroom townhouse, she bought a lot of new furniture that was delivered to the new house. Still, the small truck and two movers sent by Allied didn't have room for the remainder of her furniture which included no beds. The final charge was more than $100 over their 'guaranteed' highest price. In using a large moving company, check to be sure a small move isn't shuffled off onto a smaller independent company.

Journalist Sandra Brandenburg moved her mother from a mobile home into a senior apartment (for more about this story, see her article 'Moving Mama' in the Access Archives) while Violet was visiting Sandra's sister in Florida. Sandra advises two important steps in helping parents move from a distance -- obtain a complete Power of Attorney including checking accounts, and locate a fax machine near your parents -- some documents must be signed by them.

More Useful Sites

Lastly, there are two more websites to help you help them. New Lifestyles Online offers a free Lifestyles Guide and a database of senior housing facilities and care agencies. Their website is: www.newlifestyles.com. For more information about locating your parents in assisted living, see my article "Finding Shelter in the Golden Years, On the Internet" (caregiver center). And lastly, you can subscribe to a magazine called Where To Retire ( you might need it one day, too!). For a free issue, go to: http://bestplacetoretire.com/.

Sources used in story:

www.livingtransitions.com.

Better Homes and Gardens magazine

www.newlifestyles.com

http://bestplacetoretire.com/.

Making a Survival Kit