Helping Elderly Relatives for Big Inheritance Payoffs

Does helping a rich relative automatically make you greedy? And is greed necessarily a bad thing? I've seen relationships where the expectation of a big inheritance worked well for both parties. But that's not always the case. Watching my extended family and those of friends over the years, here's what I've seen of the ups and downs of helping elderly relatives for big inheritance payoffs.

11^th Hour Helpers

Elderly relatives with no children are delighted when a niece or nephew kindly enters their lonely lives. If the younger relatives are attentive even in small ways, they may gain a big inheritance payoff in the end. I had an old aunt who lost her child in a hit-and-run accident. Left alone after her husband died she was grateful when the son of her favorite brother started visiting her once a week. This attention alone resulted in her leaving that favorite nephew her apartment.

Family Alienation Helpers

As parents grow older they expect their children to care for them. In cases where disappointment sets in, the relationship can become sour. Relatives that step in to replace an estranged child often receive a big in heritance payoff. My friend's grandmother had been so disillusioned with her children that to spite them she invited the homeless, ex-wife of her grandchild to come live with her and keep the house after she died.

Good Samaritan Helpers

Helping an elderly relative who lost his savings or home is a kind act that has nothing to do with expecting a big inheritance payoff, and yet one may present itself after all. A second cousin of mine invited her great grandmother to come live in her home, after a fire destroyed the old woman's house. Two years later when the old woman died, she left her kind great granddaughter the key to a safety deposit box, which was full of antique gold coins. It had been the old woman's secret treasure, which made her feel financially secure, and she had never breathed a word about it.

Lottery Helpers

When an elderly relative is presumed to be rich, but no one knows exactly how rich, there are relatives who will offer help in expectation of a, hopefully, large inheritance payoff. An acquaintance of mine lived on a plot of land that had two houses, one for her and one for the mother of her deceased husband. This mother-in-law happened to be a very unpleasant woman, but she was rumored to have a great deal of money, and the land alone was valued at $100,000. The two women had a strained relationship during the lifetime of the old woman, and in the end the Will revealed that there was only one bank account and it was nearly empty.

Loving Helpers

My dear grandmother is in the habit of reassuring her daughters and grandchildren that she will take care of us all one day. It seems to give her joy to think that when she will no longer need her money, she will leave it to the people she loves. We are a close-knit family and the devotion we feel for each other has nothing to do with money. We each work hard and have achieved financial stability. But knowing that someday we may get a small gift from our grandmother is just another pleasant thought to associate with her.

Life insurance Helpers

I've seen successful arrangements where younger family members helped elderly relatives on a financial basis alone. Getting paid for your time is perfectly fair, especially when both parties benefit from the arrangement. The friend of a friend of mine helped her great uncle by quitting her job and coming to his home every day to clean, cook and offer help and support. The two were fond of each other, and though the old man could pay little in his lifetime, he made his young relative the beneficiary of his generous life insurance policy.

Criminally Greedy Helpers

On the dark side of the spectrum are the helpers who look at elderly relatives as easy picking. Though I've never known a case of elderly abuse personally, I have read sad stories in the news. Nephews and nieces, grandchildren and children have been known to steal from elderly relatives, to fake their signature in order to withdraw money from their bank accounts, and even to resort to physical abuse and murder. Learn more at the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse (NCPEA).

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