Helping a Friend Who Needs a Colectomy

If you plan to help a friend who is having or has had a colectomy you may already know and understand a little about ulcerative colitis. A colectomy is performed on ulcerative colitis patients when their colon has become ulcerated, damaged and scarred beyond repair.

A colectomy is among the last treatments an ulcerative colitis patients wants, but it is the last alternative to a colostomy.

I learned about colectomies about eight years ago when a close friend and colleague had a colectomy. She had suffered from ulcerative colitis for many years. It had been a difficult road with numerous medications and hospitalizations. When multiple fistulas and ulcerations destroyed her colon and the pain became unbearable the next option was a colectomy.

A colectomy requires removing the colon, or large intestine. The small intestine, or ileum, is attached to the anus. In the process a pouch is created in the small intestine to hold waste. The body then processes bowel movements as normal.

The colectomy was a lengthy surgery, but one from which my friend emerged feeling better, after a lengthy recovery period. According to her, the greatest help during the process of having a colectomy and hospitalization was frequent hospital visits and encouraging words.

Support, encouragement, and a positive attitude contribute to the patients healing process. Encourage other friends and family members to visit. They don't have to know the details about the procedure to stop by the hospital for a friendly hello and word of encouragement.

Once my friend was discharged, she did well for a while. Watching her diet, she was able to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She felt better than she had felt before the surgery. She was able to get out and do more without many of the concerns of an ulcerative colitis patient.

Then, the worst case scenario happened. Her IBD spread to the small intestine that had become her means for bowel movements. The pouch was damaged by the disease.

There is no replacing a large and small intestine. The only other option was a colostomy. The dread and fear of a colostomy took a toll on my friend. There are a lot of misunderstandings regarding colostomies. Old fashioned colostomies required huge plastic, see-through bags that had to be worn outside the clothing. The smell was profound and it kept a lot of colostomy patients at home.

A listening ear was what she needed most at this time. She didn't need pat responses, or a casual, "Don't worry about it." She just needed someone to listen. Ulcerative colitis patients need at least one close friend or family member they can talk to openly and honestly about their disease, their symptoms, and their fears. I was honored and humbled that my colleague chose to share her concerns with me.

From that point, I educated myself, so that she would not have to explain everything about the impending operation. This not only allowed her to talk more freely, but assured her that I wanted to understand and be there for her. I wasn't a hero for doing it, but when these crisis arise in the lives of patients with chronic illness it is only reasonable that as friends we respond with empathy, concern, and support.

Medical advances have made colostomies a much less embarrassing and difficult procedure. A smaller bag, which can be worn underneath clothing, is attached to the healthiest part of the intestine. Waste is collected in the colostomy bag. The odor is nothing like it used to be.

Adjusting to the colostomy was not easy. There were still insecurities and fears that had to be overcome. At this point encouragement required assurance that there was no odor from the colostomy bag, which there was not. My friend also needed assurance that it could not be seen beneath her clothing.

Truthfully, had I not known about her ulcerative colitis, colectomy, and colostomy I would have never known she was wearing a colostomy bag.

The transition to a colectomy or colostomy is not easy for any ulcerative colitis patient. The best thing you can do for a friend or family member is offer encouragement and support. Don't crack jokes. They aren't funny to patients who have IBD. Help your friend adjust to a colectomy or colostomy in any way possible.

A few simple things you can do are to eat meals that are compatible with the ulcerative colitis patient's diet. Be sensitive to the need to use the restroom and be aware of the locations of restrooms.

Changing a colostomy bag takes the patient some getting used to. Be prepared to cover for your friend if they have to spend extra time in the restroom. Remember, it is not your place to tell the world about their disease.

Since having the colectomy surgically changed to a colostomy, my friend with ulcerative colitis has done great. She lives a relatively normal life, watching her diet, and living with her "secret" by sharing her trials with only her closest family and friends.