Helping Husbands to Understand a Wife's Creativity

Women are made differently to men and if a husband understands his wife's motivations and desires, he will be less prone to misinterpreting her actions. In her book, What Women Want Men to Know (Thorsons, 2001), Barbara De Angelis describes the creativity that women show when responding to circumstances and how their husbands can misinterpret this.

Wives Create a Home and Place of Beauty

Women have the ability to create and can move into a bare house and transform it into a comfortable home by using their creative talents. Conversely, most men will turn an empty house into a bachelor pad with little warmth or appeal. It takes money to change dreams to reality and husbands often complain about a wife's spending habits.

While it is important to be prudent with money, most women are doing what they are naturally good at - turning inner visions into a physical place of beauty and comfort. A wife's touch in the home adds warmth and style and makes it a place where a man can relax and be himself. If her husband shows anger instead of appreciation, his wife will often be confused and hurt, and further communication may suffer.

Wives Create Beauty in Their Appearance

Women love shopping and clothes and often spend hours looking at jewellery, makeup and perfume. Their husbands may not see that this is part of their creativity. When a wife looks at a necklace, she is seeing much more than a gold chain with a stone on it. She is seeing the outfit that goes with it, her hairstyle and the place she would like to wear it to.

She may extend her creativity to her husband and buy him new clothes and suggest changes to his hairstyle. A man will often perceive this as interference, dominance and an attempt to control him. The truth is that his wife is seeing potential and making suggestions that make perfect sense to her. Control and dominance never enter her mind.

Wives Create Love, Emotion and Caring

Women are life givers and nurturing by nature. They find it easy to show and feel emotion and look for chances to create surprises and celebrations. If a long weekend is coming up, she may plan ahead and ask her husband where he would like to go and what he would like to do. In the absence of a sensible reply, she often arranges a trip or weekend away only to get a negative response.

Husbands may feel a wife is nagging or never satisfied but she is acting on her natural instincts. Her desire is to create a space where she can be with her husband or family and have a good time.

Many marriage problems arise through misunderstanding. Because men and women have different ways of thinking and behaving, it is important to make an effort to understand each other. Women are creative and nurturing and men sometimes mistake this as dominance and control. Open discussion and communication can help resolve this problem.