Helping Your Internationally Adopted Child Learn English and Prepare for School in Record Time

Over ten years ago, we adopted a child, nearly five years old at the time, from another country, Romania. It was a leap of faith and I won't go into the details of how and why that adoption took place except to note that my father came here from that same country.

My father (now deceased) was always proud and grateful to be an American citizen and he had urged us to bring another child here. At the time, many children in Romanian orphanages were developmentally delayed. We'd taken training as foster care parents but we couldn't turn away from those images of children literally turning their backs to the wall and dying, for lack of simple human touch, love and care.

It was no surprise to discover that our son wasn't even on the growth charts and had speech and hearing delays when he got here. Since I'd networked with other adoptive parents, I also wasn't alarming by other things we saw. To keep this short and get to the main focus, learning English, I'll simply suggest that readers try to imagine being thrown into a family and home routine after living in an orphanage. The two aren't even remotely alike, although both provide food, places to sleep, etc.

Which brings me to my First Tip when it comes to Teaching An Older Child the Alphabet and English Words: Do not assume that an older adopted child is the same as an ESL (English as a Second Language) Child. Yes, both have to learn English, but a child who grows up in a family, even if that family doesn't speak English, learns some basics about speech and learning language that children from orphanages may not get.

Bottom line: Consider the child's background and environment.

One of the issues we had to deal with was that our son had a speech delay, even in his native language. Speech delays in one's first language can lead to speech delays in learning English as well. So I'd suggest you get a full medical workup for your older adopted child. In our case, the medical tests showed that our internationally adopted child had speech delays and enlarged adenoids, probably due to repeated ear infections.

Bottom line: Be sure you discover anything that could hinder speech or learning. A history of ear infections, enlarged adenoids, snoring and speech issues are all warning signs or red flags that an underlying or previous medical condition could be a contributing factor when it comes to learning delays.

Another tip: Although things have come a long way since we adopted our child, you might consider having your older adopted child speak to someone who is fluent in his or her native language. When Romanians spoke to our son, they quickly detected his speech issues. The audiologist and hearing specialist here did not. Now many speech and hearing centers have people who can speak a variety of languages, a definite plus!

After he had surgery to get rid of grossly enlarged adenoids, we were ready to start working on his English and language skills, teach him the basic letters of the alphabet and get him ready to enter school. At this point, I confess I had a mixture of emotions. I felt so sorry for our son some days, watching him go through the trials of adapting to life in a new country but I knew that my sympathy, if I let it affect me too much, would only hurt him.

I thought back to my father's "sink or swim" adjustment to America (at a much older age than our son) and I knew I'd have to work hard to get our son up to speed - or to the best level possible - before he started kindergarten. Beyond a certain point, no one had given my father a helping hand and he'd had to work - and work two or three jobs - just to stay afloat and learn English.

At this point, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. The average American child has the advantage of some basic English skills, knows the pattern and rhythm of sentences, however imperfectly, and has a better foundation for learning the alphabet and picking up language skills.

This is when things took a turn for the strange, as we thought WAY outside the box. We really had to. There wasn't time to waste. We basically used whatever we could, from conventional to unconventional methods, to get him to learn language.

Here's what worked for us:

1. We got him tested for auditory-processing delays. In a nutshell, a kid with "auditory processing" issues may not hear language at the same speed or in the same way as everyone else. Our son did not. Using special techniques and computer programs, we slowly got him up to normal speed when it came to hearing words. We went through a qualified speech therapist for this. We used a program called Fast Forward.

Because we used this program over 10 years ago, I am providing this link with this caveat: I don't know how the company has changed since then. But you can take a look at the current link here: www.scilearn.com/our-approach/index.php

Bottom line for parents of older adopted children: I spent five days a week, two hours a day, helping my son learn to hear "correctly", and was amazed to see how rapidly his speech and learning evolved in a very short period of time, amazingly so.

The most fascinating part? Once his brain started to pick up language, he also learned to play, a skill he'd lacked until then. The two things went together! A brain specialist probably understands why. I don't. I just saw it happen.

2. Another thing we learned from watching him: He learned best when he didn't really know he was learning (many children do). Early on, he became fascinated with the movie, Babe, the tale of an adorable little pig who gets adopted by a kindly mother dog but who is faced with suspicion and outright prejudice by other animals and humans. Our son didn't just love that movie but became obsessed by it! My husband was a little grumpy about the "pack leader or father dog" in the movie (he wasn't the nicest dog, that father dog) but our son assured him that this specific part didn't match our family. It was the general theme of adoption and adoption issues that he liked.

Day after day, our newly adopted son sat on my lap, rocking and learning English by osmosis, the words from the movie filtering into his brain. He may not have understood most of the sentences but he felt the story - and on a bone deep level, channeling it right into his subconscious. Anyone watching him would be convinced of the power of a good story (and yes, I think Babe told one heck of a good story) to resonate with viewers. Even if that viewer is a little boy just learning English. Writers, take note. Words matter. Good stories matter. You never know who'll be affected.

Bottom line for parents of older adopted children: If something helps a child learn English, don't worry about whether it is a conventionally approved method of teaching English. Go with it. Be prepared to spend a lot of time watching one particular movie or reading one particular book, over and over again....until the child learns English or gets sick of the movie or book. If that child is sitting on your lap, you might consider buying an extra pillow or two for your bottom. It'll go numb, anyway, but not as quickly.

3. Wordless books can actually help your child learn words. Many parents of small children know this. Our son's favorite book? It was called Stop, Thief! and is currently available at many sites for bargain prices, around fifity eight cents or so per copy.One place to find it is www.amazon.com .The book tells the story of a squirrel whose acorn is stolen by various other animals, one by one, each subsequent animal taking it from the other.....until, finally the acorn gets back to its owner. Young kids relate to both the desire to keep a beloved item and the desire to take it away. Anyway, that's my theory. We read this book several times a day.

Bottom line for parents of older adopted children: Find wordless books that your child likes. Our son also liked anything containing images of balloons because balloons were a rare treat in the orphanage. The kids didn't really get to use them much (choking hazard) but they did get to play with balloons that were fully inflated, on occasion, under close supervision. This left our son with a fascination with balloons. We used that to his advantage when it came to teaching English.

4. Because our son needed to hear words as they were spoken, we did use both Speak and Spell and several preschool learning toys. They don't make the particular one we used anymore but there are similar options out there. Look for toys that produce clear words or sounds when certain buttons are pushed. In our case, we had a notebook sized pad that had all the letters of the alphabet on it.

When a letter was pushed, a voice would say the letter, perhaps "A" or "B". Then the same voice recording would use that letter in a sentence like "A is for apple" .
While I preferred to teach our son myself (or my husband would teach him English), this was a good alternative when we were busy and had appeal. Similar toys include See and Say Toys, which include a spinner and various sounds for letters, days of the week, etc.

Bottom line for parents of older adopted children: Find appropriate toys that reinforce English letters, sounds and sentences. Don't worry about whether they are made for toddlers, even if you have a five year old. "Age appropriate" - when it comes to older adopted children who come from other countries - means what works for them. If a toddler toy will teach them basic skills, it doesn't matter if the age range is 18 months to 3 years and your child is older than that.

I genuinely hope my experiences help anyone who is considering the adoption of a child from another country or one who has speech and language delays.