Helping Kids Say No to Smoking: From Humor to Resisting Peer Pressure

As a parent, there are certain conversations with my child that I just do not look forward to. For instance, there's the "birds and the bees" conversation. I have a daughter, and although she is still just a baby I dread the thought of having to talk to her about this topic. (But I figure I'll just have her mother talk to her about this one). Others topics include such things as drinking, drugs and smoking. And even though these topics are probably not as embarrassing for many parents to talk to their children about, they are no less difficult or important. So how can we teach our children to say no to smoking? How do we help them deal with the peer pressure to smoke?

When I was growing up, smoking was considered "cool." Sure everyone knew smoking was bad for you, but lighting up was still something the cool kids did. (I never got into smoking, so I guess I wasn't part of that cool crowd). The point here is that kids won't get "scared straight" into not smoking. There are those who think that if you show kids the effects of smoking (primarily death by lung cancer), they'll be sufficiently scared to not smoke. Personally, I don't think this works. Kids know what the effects of smoking are. We've come a long way in educating children about the dangers of smoking. Yet plenty of children start smoking every day. Do we need to scare them some more? I don't' think so. I think smoking at their age has a lot more to do with peer pressure than being scared of the effects.

So then how can we, as parents, help our kids deal with this peer pressure? Well, first of all it won't help to constantly tell our children that smoking is bad for you. Like I said before, they already know that. So to constantly tell them what they already know is like saying that you think they don't know anything. It also tells them that you are out of touch with what they are really dealing with...the peer pressure.

So practically speaking, it's not enough to tell our kids that smoking is bad. Nor is it enough to minimize their difficulties with peer pressure by giving them cute little mottos like, "Just say no." Stuff like that sounds great in the media for politicians, but doesn't help your child. Instead, let them know you understand what they are dealing with by giving some suggestions that show you "get it."

One way to help your child deal with the peer pressure is to suggest that they try humor. For instance they can think of creative things to say like, "No thanks. If I want yellow teeth, I'll just go paint them."... or "No thanks. My boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't want to kiss an ashtray." Humor works well with kids because the kid who has the snappy and funny come-back always gets respect from the other kids.

If humor isn't up your child's alley, they can always just turn the pressure around. For instance, have them question the one who is applying the peer pressure by saying something like, "Is that what you do to act cool?" or "Do you think that people think you're cool because you smoke?"

There are lots of ways for your kids to deal with peer pressure. You just need to help your child find a way that best suits her. Most kids these days know that smoking is harmful; they just need creative ways to combat the peer pressure...that's where your parenting skills come into play.