Helping Your Toddler Develop Compassion

It's of the mind that young children are very self-centered and can't think beyond themselves. It is true to an extent, but every individual has empathy and compassion hardwired into them from birth. Developing and nurturing these natural things actually begins in very early childhood, and the age of a toddler is the perfect time to really help your child start to grasp these things.

One of the most common ways to develop your toddler's compassion is to teach him the concept of sharing. A lot of children's television shows and books embrace this important stepping stone, but where it really matters to a child is when it comes from the people around him, in his every day life. With my own child, I like to make snacks for both of us, and split it in half while telling him that one half is for him and one is for me. If you have more than one child, you can do this amongst them and explain you are doing this so both can have some.

I also like to take turns with him during playing. For instance, if we are playing with his blocks, I'll ask him to add a piece, and then I will add one, and so on. This helps to teach the importance of patience and taking turns to make sure others are included.

If you have older children, you can get them involved in the task of teaching their younger sibling to share.

Your toddler will also learn sharing by himself, through experience. Interacting with others and children is a great way to help him "practice" his sharing as well as develop other skills. Of course, there will probably be times when you catch your child being rude or stingy. When this happens, calmly ask him how he thinks the other child feels when he acts that way, and then tell him he probably wouldn't feel very happy if someone acted that way towards him. Instead of simply telling him to say "sorry" to the other person, you should explain just why he should say sorry at all. This will help him to develop meaning and understand why what he did wasn't very nice. Your child may or may not be too young to really grasp all of this right away, but it doesn't hurt to start at a young age. Generally by the age of 3 children will begin to learn how to put themselves in others shoes and understand that others have feelings separate to their own.

Along with reacting in such a way when your toddler acts rudely, be sure to praise him when he is good towards others, as well. Sometimes the best treat for a young child is hearing a positive reaction from one of his parents, and will enforce future good behavior in him as well as give him the core knowledge that caring about others is a good thing.

Pets are also a great way for a child to develop compassion. A lot of toddlers like to climb on dogs or cats, sometimes pulling their hair or tail. When you see this happening, let him know that it hurts the pet when he does this. Show him how to pet and "be nice" to animals. But it's also wise to try and make your child understand early on that it's not a good idea to go up to strange animals, or ones he does not know.

Trying to develop an understanding for other people's feelings is an important part of developing compassion. When watching TV or looking at pictures, point out different facial expressions or tones of voice to your child. Ask him if the person is happy or sad, based on their expression, or if they are crying. You can also help by matching your own voice to the feeling - for instance, when asking if a person is happy, sound up-beat. When asking if a person is sad, sound sad yourself. This will help your child attach tones and body language in order to easily piece together himself how someone else is feeling. When your child is a bit older, you can add to this technique by pointing out a picture or someone on TV who looks sad, and ask how he thinks this person can be made happy again. A lot of times even very young children realize what might cause painful or upset feelings in someone.

Never ignore or ridicule your child's own emotions. Telling him not to cry or be angry may make it worse, and make him feel like he's doing something wrong. When really, feelings can't be helped. Instead, you should let him express how he feels, and encourage him to speak about it. This will help him learn the difference between individual people's feelings and how to be empathetic towards how someone else may feel.

Set up opportunities for your child to do things for others. Include your toddler in tasks such as baking cookies to give to another person. During the process, talk to him about why it's nice and fun to do such things for others, and how it will make another person feel.

Remember, children are always watching things that those around them are doing. I try to show my child through example everyday, with everyone around me. Whether with his father, grandparents, friends, or even people when out and about. Small things such as opening and holding the door for others can also help, as you tell your child why you do that. Children are natural observers when it comes to things others do, especially parents, so what he sees you doing will rub off on him.

Involve your child in charity or volunteer work you do. Toddlers may be too young to become engaged in too much, but involving him in the process of putting together a bag of foods for a canned food drive or toys for less fortunate children, while explaining to him in a way he'll be better able to understand, is a key to future compassion of his own.